To only invite one twin?

But that’s nothing to do with them being twins. That’s just the way of it for any parent, especially single parent, with more than one child.

Nah I'm a twin mom and always reiterate to parents not to feel they must invite both.

Just say "sorry x can't come. Have a lovely weekend".

You don't need to explain yourself

No different to any other family with more than one child, where one is invited to a party though?!

So it’s not in fact a hard one at all as you say if they were in separate classes you wouldn’t expect them to be invited together, which is exactly the scenario here.

If in a different class then definitely no.

Have 11yo twins. Our school does a strict split twins up year group. Not once have they both been invited to the same party apart from in nursery.

Yeah they were sometimes upset by it but just needs a reminder that they're not Frank's friend and also John wasn't invited to Berts party like you were, end of story.

I didn’t say anything in my post about not allowing one to go. Didn’t even hint at it so no, I don’t see how you came to that conclusion.

I was actually worded my post in response to a previous poster saying it’s the same as inviting siblings of different ages (my view is that it isn’t the same) I just forgot to click quote.

And yes, they would be devastated. I would try to manage that but it would be hard to see them feeling that way.

Not all aren't! My parents were great thank you!

You weren't very clear in your post at all what you allowed. And since you said that if they were in the same class you would expect invites and that if one did receive an invite and the other didn't, they would be "devastated", it's easy to see how I came to the conclusion I did, you wouldn't allow them to go. And it seems most others came to the same conclusion I did.

I hope all parents push back on their batshittery. The parents are only disadvantaging their own kids.

Her friend will miss out because the parents are being unreasonable.

I’ve never actually been through this with my twins so not sure how I’m not doing them any favours?

But I can tell you that they would both be incredibly upset if this was the case.

I would never insist of the person inviting the other, nor would I prevent one from going.

I was basing my response on a poster who said it was the same as inviting a 5 year old and not a 3 year old brother. It isn’t the same.

Kindly, you aren’t doing your kids any favours by allowing and even encouraging this.

If they are upset by separate invites, your job as a parent is to help them through it, help them get used to this and not be upset in future, and develop resilience.

You say fairness is a big thing with them, it’s not fairness to expect identical treatment by everyone in the world. What’s not fair is one twin stopping the other from going because they’re not invited,’or kicking off about it. What’s not fair is if you turned down the invitation for this reason.

Twin parents are unreasonable

As others have said, they are separate people.

Maybe if they were four, I’d have understood. But by seven (and I’m usually the first to say this is still young) they can understand that they’re in different classes and have different friends.

Parents probably just want some child free time! Very cheeky of them.

They're not. G x E.

Epigentically they will have had different experiences in utero and every day beyond.

It doesn’t, but that’s not the other parent’s responsibility.

And they will learn it. It doesn’t make it any easier for them.

The first time it happened we did have to manage/parent that and I’m sure their were tears, but it’s an important lesson they need to learn.

Parent is being ridiculous.

I have ID twins, they were in a single form entry primary. They are individuals and as the whole class parties tapered off sometime one got invited to a party and the other didn’t. The mum is doing them a disservice by insisting they both get invited.

if they arent in the same class, i don’t see a problem. Speaking as a twin who went through primary school in a different class from my brother

Did I say that if one wasn’t invited the other couldn’t go?

Im saying that at age 7 they would be extremely upset.

Unfortunately they didn’t get a choice on friends. They’ve been in a composite class of mostly boys since starting school. They each play with the same group of girls but not at the same time. So one twin might play with A&B whilst the other plays with C. The next day it might be one twin with A and one with B&C.

So yes, they play separately but overall, being left out of that group for a party would be really upsetting for both.

If they were in different classes then I would understand getting invited to different parties and so would they.

They are twins but they’re also siblings and it’s not expected to invite siblings of friends if your child isn’t friends with them. I wonder if the school has put them in separate classes on purpose so they develop their own sense of self