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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think most women wouldn't recognise a decent man?

106 replies

sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 16:37

I've a few male friends (single) who are indifferent to women because they are decent blokes but most women are to sceptical. So much so it deters them from dating or getting serious.

OP posts:
Listlostlast · 19/04/2026 17:32

sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:23

I believe that most women are open to meeting and having healthy relationships.

These three (guys) say that women are too sceptical about men and because of this they are indifferent to them.

They’re not actually decent men, let’s be honest. It makes them feel ‘indifferent’ to women because they’re rightfully cautious about men, given the horrific levels of male violence towards women. They’re men who want women to overlook any fears and hesitation they may have for the benefit of… men.

Midnights68 · 19/04/2026 17:32

I wonder why women might be a bit sceptical of men. A real head scratcher, that one.

ForTipsyFinch · 19/04/2026 17:29

Yes, it’s simply too difficult for our little lady brains to comprehend a decent man 🙄

Maybe these men aren’t as nice as they think they are - which is straight out of the incel handbook btw.

Beyondamountainandoverthesea · 19/04/2026 17:28

sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:23

I believe that most women are open to meeting and having healthy relationships.

These three (guys) say that women are too sceptical about men and because of this they are indifferent to them.

No wonder they are still single. Poor men.

SadBoys · 19/04/2026 17:28

sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:23

I believe that most women are open to meeting and having healthy relationships.

These three (guys) say that women are too sceptical about men and because of this they are indifferent to them.

And they can’t see that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy? I mean, if a guy isn’t interested in me, or indeed women in general, I’m certainly not going to chase him.

EwwPeople · 19/04/2026 17:26

sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:23

I believe that most women are open to meeting and having healthy relationships.

These three (guys) say that women are too sceptical about men and because of this they are indifferent to them.

And yet , millions of women start new relationships every day.

BIWI · 19/04/2026 17:25

You might like to ask yourself why women might be sceptical about men @sundaymornings

Engage your brain.

WhereIsMyLight · 19/04/2026 17:23

sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:10

It's okay the first few answers have made me lose the argument with them.

Back to the game.

Women have every right to be sceptical of men. 62 fucking million of them attended an academy to learn how to rape women.

Your friends want to be a decent man and have women not be sceptical about them, they need to do the work. They need to show they are trustworthy through their actions, not words. That means not turning back to the game when they don’t get an answer they like. When women don’t automatically fawn all over them.

Original poster
sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:23

I believe that most women are open to meeting and having healthy relationships.

These three (guys) say that women are too sceptical about men and because of this they are indifferent to them.

OP posts:
hotdoggies · 19/04/2026 17:21

sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:10

It's okay the first few answers have made me lose the argument with them.

Back to the game.

Good luck!

I think you're going to need it.

SadBoys · 19/04/2026 17:18

sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:10

It's okay the first few answers have made me lose the argument with them.

Back to the game.

It’s really not clear what the ‘argument’ was. I mean, if they’re ’indifferent to women’ why is it women’s job to change that? They can be as indifferent as they
like! They’re not obliged to be in a relationship.

MagnoliaTreeBlossom · 19/04/2026 17:16

YABU to make sweeping statements about most women. Why wouldn't they recognise a decent man? Who says they're sceptical?

Your male friends being indifferent to women is probably the red flag the women they meet pick up on. A detached, uninterested attitude is not going to appeal to anyone.

Who is detered from dating or getting serious? Your single friends or 'most women'. This is unclear in your post @sundaymornings

Regardless, this narrative of women being at fault or not capable of recognising 'decent' men is not healthy. Indifference isn't conducive to positive interactions or developing relationships.

User086758 · 19/04/2026 17:13

Unless you've been in a sexual relationship with these men, how on earth do you know they are "decent"? Some of the craziest relationship partners all look perfectly normal and charming to other people.

Other things are not relevant for friendships but definitely deal breakers for relationships. Things like addiction, mental illness, trauma, chaotic family life, neurodivergence etc.

Arlanymor · 19/04/2026 17:12

ElenOfTheWays · 19/04/2026 17:11

Kind of ruined the point at the end though

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Yeah I was a bit annoyed with that. I guess even then they didn't want people to feel it was 'man-bashing'... even if it was observational.

ElenOfTheWays · 19/04/2026 17:11

ghostyslovesheets · 19/04/2026 16:55

Oh that’s goooood!

Show quote history

Kind of ruined the point at the end though

Original poster
sundaymornings · 19/04/2026 17:10

It's okay the first few answers have made me lose the argument with them.

Back to the game.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 19/04/2026 17:09

Interesting that the OP also started another thread bemoaning the cost of dating as a man.

Tryagain26 · 19/04/2026 17:06

I don't understand the OP. If these good men are indifferent to women why would the women be interested in them?
I know many very decent men and they all have partners.
I think women are very good at recognising a decent man.
What are you trying to say OP?

Arlanymor · 19/04/2026 17:04

ghostyslovesheets · 19/04/2026 17:01

God that is depressing but not surprising sadly

The OP is one of those ‘the male loneliness epidemic is all women’s fault’ type bollox isn’t it?

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Exactly... These men are indifferent because IT'S WOMEN'S FAULT!

ghostyslovesheets · 19/04/2026 17:01

Arlanymor · 19/04/2026 16:57

Excellent isn't it? And sadly SO recognisable too! And that sketch is over nine years old which is a bit depressing!!

Show quote history

God that is depressing but not surprising sadly

The OP is one of those ‘the male loneliness epidemic is all women’s fault’ type bollox isn’t it?

Arlanymor · 19/04/2026 16:57

ghostyslovesheets · 19/04/2026 16:55

Oh that’s goooood!

Show quote history

Excellent isn't it? And sadly SO recognisable too! And that sketch is over nine years old which is a bit depressing!!

ghostyslovesheets · 19/04/2026 16:55

Arlanymor · 19/04/2026 16:51

That's exactly what I thought. Typical 'nice guy' rhetoric.

Have you seen this SNL sketch? Every time I hear 'nice guy' I think of this:

Show quote history

Oh that’s goooood!

Arlanymor · 19/04/2026 16:51

BIWI · 19/04/2026 16:45

Sounds like incel speak to me.

That's exactly what I thought. Typical 'nice guy' rhetoric.

Have you seen this SNL sketch? Every time I hear 'nice guy' I think of this:

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/kTMow_7H47Q?si=MhucIh2zdsIqhJ7-

OutsideLookingOut · 19/04/2026 16:51

If you like them so much you should date them.

Seriously though, I do not think most men an spot decent men either... look at Mr Pelicot? Look at many pillars of communities that were later discovered to be creeps?

EwwPeople · 19/04/2026 16:49

BIWI · 19/04/2026 16:45

Sounds like incel speak to me.

Yup. Exactly that.

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