AIBU to refuse to let relatives take my children’s Easter eggs to donate to a food bank?

So what? It's one day a year - and they clearly can moderate their intake as they still have chocolate to eat ...

No this is an overreach, you can't go into someone else's house and start bagging stuff up to give to charity. I would have ejected the from the house and never had them back until they apologise.
charitable feelings are fine, but you use your own resources , not other people's- that's insane.

Ridiculous behaviour! I would ignore them and never invite them back.

I think I’d engage, and reply ‘nobody who comes into our house and thinks they can steal my children’s things is welcome in my home’

If you give money, food or other wanted donations (from your own stuff or at your own cost, naturally!) quietly and discreetly, you are indeed giving to charity.

If you make a big song and dance about doing so and tell everybody, you haven't actually given to charity at all; you've simply paid to buy yourself publicity - with what the charity does or doesn't receive being nothing more than an incidental side-effect.

DC got 4 Easter eggs this year and eats them over a few weeks but even if he got 20 I would still be saying “NO” to someone taking them away from him.
It’s the putting them in a bag that has riled me up, if the bag wasn’t going to be filled with eggs then would your Mum be filling it from your food cupboard on her way out?
We’ve got a family member who claims she gives a lot to charity but she threw a wobbly when I got her a pet charity sponsorship for Christmas as she said she had paid for her own present.
I have raised over £250 in the last year by taking clothes to Barnardos charity shop. Your Mum could do that or volunteer in a charity shop if she needs to find charity related fulfilment.

Are you not familiar with the concept of having reasonable stocks of food and other products in and using them gradually?

It's a misnomer - and one that's very commonly invoked by CFs - that "But you have loads and you don't need them all!", when their intended marks are simply sorted for the next few days/weeks/months, but the CFs have their greedy eyes on helping themselves.

I buy 24 toilet rolls at a time - because the big 12-packs of the ones that we use are the best value per roll, and they usually have an offer on whereby two 12-packs bought together are even better value. It doesn't mean that we all suffer from horrendous non-stop diarrhoea, or serve them up instead of pasta or something; it simply means that we're set for bog rolls for the next couple of months or so, and they will most definitely not go to waste.

It's different if it's food that will go off quickly and can't be frozen; but Easter eggs last for months after the shops stop selling them. It's no different in principle from giving somebody a year's subscription of a magazine, cinema pass or whatever as a Christmas present; nobody is remotely suggesting that they're no use after the Christmas period is over!

If I were in your shoes OP, I would be having a think about what things my Mum values, for example, does she have a collection of something like pretty plates, a particular type of ornament, or a passion for handbags or shoes. Then if she has say a thing for shoes, the next time I visited, I would gather up all her shoes bar one pair, and say to her, "Mum, I've gathered up ALL these shoes to take to the charity shop, as you really don't need them all, and it's really selfish of you to have 10 pairs while other people are walking around with holes in their shoes because they can't afford new ones", and then see how SHE reacts. I know you've excused her behaviour to some degree by explaining that she seems to have an eating disorder, but there really is no excuse for her taking it upon herself to give away something that belongs to your children, or anyone else, without their permission, that's really rude and unacceptable, and if there is any one who should be apologising, it should definitely be her and your Father.

Yes, I thought that too. Food banks ask people in the community to GIVE; they don't want to accept - or be implicated in - stolen goods.

If they genuinely worked that way, why wouldn't they just go to the supermarket and steal it themselves, instead of asking donors to do so on their behalf?! In fact, why not cut out the middleman, close their operation down and just tell poor families to go and thieve it from the shops themselves?!

Yes, I thought this as well. Surely, if she thinks that all chocolate is bad, she definitely wouldn't be giving it to poor people; she would be throwing it away. In fact, for all we know - after OP's updates - maybe she said "Give to the foodbank" when she actually meant the even more outrageous "Throw them in the bin".

That's technically theft isn't it? Your mum has some very disordered ideas about food.

Id be telling them they should be embarrassed and that the only person owed an apology is your child because they tried to take their belongings without permission then when told no started name calling/shaming your child, very poor behaviour from an adult. How would they respond if you went into their house and started loading their belongings into a bag to donate.

I suppose the ones who get walked over all the time, don’t anyway.

I would tell him to fuck off

This . IRL most reasonable people don’t tell anyone to Fuck Off ,not normal behaviour!

Sounds like my mum, she’ll ‘decide’ something is the only way it can be done and then go on and on about it and won’t hear anything to the contrary. So she’s decided there are too many chocolate eggs and some must go to the food bank, how could anyone think of any other course of action when she has decreed this is the thing that must be done?

The worst one was when I was in very early pregnancy and she came over, I was vomiting almost continuously and very weak and she kept repeating over and over ‘you’ll have to tell your in laws you’re pregnant’ and I kept saying back to her DH will tell his parents when we’re ready (in laws have form for worrying so we wanted to wait until the vomiting stopped) and the first thing she did when she left our house was call the in laws and tell them, they were then extremely upset that their son hadn’t told them and also worried that I was so sick, so double whammy. Her excuse was she ‘didn’t hear me’ tell her to keep it to herself and anyway they ‘had to be told’. She’s a bonkers cow.

I get why you don't want to tell them to fuck off, but it would be completely reasonable to tell them they behaved poorly and are being ridiculous in expecting an apology.

I'm gobsmacked that they kept trying to load them up after you said no.

I'm really sorry that you don't automatically see how eye-wateringly, bizarrely rude that this was (because you had to ask here) - they've really done a number on you haven't they.

I feel confident in assuming that in the vast majority of families, parents behaving like this would have their children pushing them to make a GP appointment (based on the assumption that something has gone wrong in the thinking department).

I've got to say though, well done for clearly not passing on this batshittery to your own kids.

Your poor friend what a piece of shit her parents were. They have a lot to answer for. Christina my arse - damn right cruelty.

"Dear CFs, when you have apologised to the kids, you are welcome to visit. Until then, you're not welcome.
We hope you see sense soon."

I would be straight round her house and into her wardrobe, start pulling out clothes and putting them in a bag and tell her that you are taking them to donate to the homeless. When she reacts and tells you no what do you think you are doing then tell her how selfish she is to be having a wardrobe full of clothes....

They sound batshit

I'd be most put out if I had bought children easter egg treats and other family members decided to take them. It doesn't matter how many eggs the children have its not your relatives business.

Tell your parents, if they come into your home and attempt to steal from you again, while being told no - They will not be invited again. You will in fact seek legal advice from the police regarding people coming into your home and taking things without permission, followed by harassment and bullying in text messages. It doesn't matter what item is being taken, it's the act of taking something without permission.