To holiday without SC?

You’ve got limited time with your toddler before you’re pigeonholed into taking breaks during school holidays so make the most of it. Even if you went with DH so long as he also took his kids away at some point that is fair. If he isn’t up for it you go.

Not at all. And make sure you stop doing as much for them as your partner.

Go and enjoy yourself with your little one.

That's awful. Either the whole family goes or noone goes. You can't possibly be selfish enough to think it's ok to leave children out of a holiday so you can enjoy yourself!!

Did your DP agonise like this before taking his teens away without taking his toddler child?

thought not.

Just go. If he's a decent man he ll be wishing you a great time

@asdbaybeeee ,that does not compare to OP's situation. OP is the one paying for the trip and it's
either a. her + her 1 under 12
or
b. DP + 2 over 12 who aren't hers +her + 1 under 12.

What you have suggested sounds fine OP

I’m not sure why you are even questioning this

We always took my 2 dc and our 1 dc. I wouldn’t have gone without them. My exh who had 2 dc to me, 2 to second wife and 1 child plus 3 step kids to third wife massively struggled to take all away. He did buy a tent and go camping once a year with them all. But he did go abroad with his family with 3rd wife once a year too.
I explained to my dc that they go away with me and dh. Their sisters go away with their mum and her partner but his youngest dc and step kids wouldn’t get a holiday (other than camping) unless their dad took them (stepkids don’t see their dad)

Completely fine, and when not restricted to school holidays I bet you could get it for well under 2k.

Go, with or without your DH, it seems the SC are well loved and cared for and seem use to a blended family, dad is doing plenty with them. I get there are a few pangs but that’s because you care

or tell them the Easter bunny ate their tickets - that’s more believable. Who would believe that excuse?! At least do them the favour of being honest and upfront. Zero problem OP and toddler going away, it’s a non issue. More tricky if her husband comes - if they want to be fair, dad needs to do something with older kids.

Why would that be a problem?

I really think it depends on the time split… I have a step son and whilst we wouldn’t send him anywhere when he is meant to be with us, or purposely book a holiday when is isn’t with us, he’s 14 so it’s vastly more expensive to take him, and we have twins on the way, so we have said it may be that we go somewhere in term time whilst he’s at his other parents and then somewhere in holidays when he’s with us. We have him 50/50 at the moment.
Tricky one but ultimately you have to consider if you want to go alone (will it really be a relaxing holiday just you and a toddler) or how your OH feels about going too without taking SC!

Obviously fine for just you and your child to go away together.

I don't get the impression you like or care about your stepchildren at all though, which isn't a viable attitude to have going forwards. If you have a child with a man who already has children, those children aren't going away and will be a part of your life too.

Oh just go.
You only get one life.

You and your child going, absolutely fine.

dad only going in holiday with one of his three children would make him a shitty parent, and the mum is just as shitty for doing the same with just her new child.

YANBU at all. Just find a holiday that suits you and your DC. Give DP the option to join you or not, then book it.

I think it's fine. SC will have holidays with their mum too sometimes.

I think you and the toddler going is fine.
I think if you, toddler and DH go then that starts to become tricky. You say the SC don't mind their mum going off with her new family without them, but maybe that's because they know dad wouldn't. If both their biological parents treat them this way maybe they will feel rejected on both sides.
I do think you need to look at future plans with your DH. If you want to go on holidays, is there potential for him to save more? Is it only the child maintenance that means he doesn't have enough for holidays abroad?

Money aside, you seem to be comparing two very different types of holidays - (1) a more spur-of-the-moment cheap getaway for just you and a small, not-yet-in-school child vs (2) a school holidays trip for 2 adults, 2 teens and a toddler which would require planning ahead to juggle two work and two school/social/activities schedules and probably consulting the teens' mother/taking her schedule into consideration.

I'd just do the research and find a holiday plan that works for you and toddler and then run it by your partner (just because it's also his child going, and to make sure the time you'll be away isn't an issue in terms of any shared responsibilities). As you're keen to have a week away in the sun and can afford it, then it seems like the next most practical option after you and toddler going alone would be for you to go alone and have partner look after the toddler - but I'm guessing that would also require more advanced planning. Given the other details in your follow-ups, I also think it would be fine for your partner to go along if he's keen and can free up the time pretty quickly - you could offer that option and let him decide.

Just go with your micro family. Ffs. What’s the problem?