Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's the funniest thing your DC have said?

64 replies

worldshottestmom · 18/04/2026 20:57

Was having a chat with my minimally verbal 4yo DS before bed, abut ear wax. I said to him he has ear wax to stop bugs from getting inside his ears. He responded, in his own version of words, that he doesn't need ear wax, because if a bug goes in his ear he would just shoot himself in the ear to kill the bug 🫠 he was entirely confused as to why I found this so funny lol

Now I need to know what other funny / silly things kids come out with, because that did tickle me haha

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
UnPetitDunPetit · 19/04/2026 21:23

"Jam! Jam!"
I was in a toilet cubicle changing my tampon with 2yo DC in tow...

Daisychain700 · 19/04/2026 21:18

In the car going to swimming lessons, a bit rushed as DD1 took a while to get ready. D2 (6) was asking for a snack, if I had anything in the car.
Me: no you’ve already had something, we’ll have to wait until after swimming
DD2: but I’m reeeeally hungry mum, I’m so hungreeee!
Me: No its not good to eat just before swimming etc
DD2: (sadly) I’m sorry tummy
😄😄

TigerRag · 19/04/2026 21:18

Well I was told no by my cousins 15 month old. He just looked at me and went "no!"

Thesquaregiraffe · 19/04/2026 21:11

My son (then aged about 5) hated going to the hairdressers so I used to take him with me and we used to see the same lady.

He was so put out one time he said (very pretentiously) “Ohh do get on with it!” And then, when asked by the receptionist if he had enjoyed holiday club “yes!. I did yoga!”

I was absolutely horrified at the time but find it funny now and remind him of it regularly 🤣. I’ve now got an opinionated teenage bit thankfully not a pretentious one.

Gingganggoo · 19/04/2026 20:49

Many years ago, aged around 8, my second son was blowing up a "balloon" from a stash he'd found hidden in my sister's wardrobe. 😉 We were upstairs on a double decker bus at the time and his antics were attracting some embarrassing attention (as I was trying to get the balloon off of him, though he was reluctant to part with it).
No 1 son queried if these were the balloons that stopped babies "swinging down a ladies' bones", which some older boys at school had been discussing (🤯). It was something very important called, "misconception" and was absolutely essential to preventing "an unwanted vagrancy".
A grandmother took her daughter out of earshot by moving to the lower deck, forthwith, presumably to protect her delicate sensibilities.

Appleandcidergravy · 19/04/2026 20:16

My child explaining that daddy can't drive at age 3 (dad has epilepsy)
If daddy drive he would hit a tree, start driving again, hit another tree, start driving hit another tree and then have a big crash (mainly to people who don't know daddy in front of him) 😂🤣😊

Favouritefruits · 19/04/2026 20:11

not my DC but my friends DC goes to a church school and on the way to school she asked her mum ‘is Jesus my really daddy’

Favouritefruits · 19/04/2026 20:09

When my youngest son was about three we I was a conversation with lots of other family about jobs, my mum asked what DS would like to be when he’s older, he just shrugged and said ‘king’ it was just great comedy timing!

Renovationation91 · 19/04/2026 20:04

My then three year old asked me to bend down so she could check my hair after I said I had a song stuck in my head :')

IceyBisBack · 19/04/2026 20:03

Owlmoonstar · 18/04/2026 21:16

My niece used to call Hello Kitty 'Hello Titty'

Yes ....my daughter had lots of Hello Titty's

Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 20:00

TeaAndSymumthy · 19/04/2026 15:04

My 4 year old son paid me a compliment this morning, he said “I like your long boobies mummy”

😒

Lmfao ahhhh idek how I'd respond 😮‍💨 "its all thanks to you darling"

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:59

KeyboardCat · 19/04/2026 14:57

My daughter was in a water nappy advert when she was about 2, it came up on my Facebook memories one day when she was 5 and my son was 7. I said 'oh look, do you remember when you were a model?' She laughed and said it was fun being a model. My son then said to her 'WAS a model, now you're just a washed-up old hag' 😂😂😂😂

Omg brutal from your son hahaha! A washed up old hag at the age of 5, I can only imagine what I am 😭

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:58

MakeMineAMilkyTea · 19/04/2026 14:49

Did John the Baptist baptise you? Were cars invented when you were a teenager?

Lmfao 😭 I cant wait for the day im asked what dinosaurs looked like up close

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:57

Clefable · 19/04/2026 14:28

Not so much at the time(!) but while in the swimming pool changing rooms ahead of her lesson, a 4yo DD1 looked thoughtfully at and prodded her nipples and then said ‘Mummy, why are my nipples up here but yours are all the way down there gesturing?’

I saw the hastily hidden smirks on faces of the other mums! I resulted the urge to say that it was all her fault as before she arrived they were extremely pert!

Omg stop I would have been mortified 🫣😂 hahaha well at least you kept your cool, I probably would've responded "because I birthed you"

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:55

itsgettingweird · 19/04/2026 14:26

About 7 years old my ds insisted he wanted dead soldiers with his boiled egg.

Eventually figured out he wanted them toasted 🤷‍♀️😂

Hahahahah! Nothing beats dippy eggs and dead soldiers am I right

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:55

Tillow4ever · 19/04/2026 14:18

I think there were loads that I was certain I would always remember…. Now of course I can’t. The only ones I can think of:

Middle son around age 2 couldn’t say “baguette” so would ask for a “ham forget” for lunch. We of course still ask him now (18) if he wants a ham forget.

Middle son again, similar age, said “Mummy” in a real deep in thought, inquisitive voice. “yes?” I replied. “Why if your bottom so ginormous?” (Still want to know who taught him that word and neglected to tell him not to use it in the same sentence as “Mummy”). Worse thing was, that was back when I was around a size 12 - much bigger these days sadly.

Middle son (spotting a theme here) aged 4. My grandad has died a few days earlier and we were all very upset. My dad was giving me, him and his older brother a lift to go and see my Grandma. We reminded the boys that Grandma might be very upset. Middle son asked why. I explained “because Grandad Fred* has died”. Silence for about a minute. Then he said “well I never liked Grandad Fred anyway”. Luckily my dad burst out laughing (middle son absolutely doted on my Grandad and vice versa - he was always asking to go see him, so that was why it was funny, just a 4 year old having an inappropriate strop).

Asterix to indicate name changed. Can’t put another asterix or you’d end up with a while weird bold section.

Youngest son and his cousin (exact same ages, so around 2/3) arguing one day over the word “Domino”. One was pronouncing it “Donimo” and the other was saying “it’s DOMino” - back and forwards arguing, my sister and I laughing at the absurdity of the argument, until my niece started trying to push him off the coffee table (they were using it as a stage to sing karaoke on previously) so we quickly stepped in.

Omg these were all brilliant hahahahhaa 😭😭 I wonder how they would have resolved the 'scone' argument 🤔 lmaoo

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:51

poutlikeyoumeanit · 19/04/2026 13:34

DC aged 2 came downstairs one night around 10pm - They were a terrible sleeper. But an excellent early talker

DC "Do you want the good news or the bad news?"

Me "The good news"

DC " I'm going back to bed, but the bad news is I'm getting up again"

Thats hilarious hahaha you cant even be mad tbh idk why this reminds me of whenever my daughter does something shes not allowed to i.e. get a juice at like 7pm, she just brings it in the room holding it and says "hello" with this smitten smile on her face haha

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:50

ScrambledEggs12 · 19/04/2026 12:32

When the queen died my child told me that people won't be queuing up to see my coffin!

Omg 😭 what an actual savage hahaha

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:49

Bowling4soup · 19/04/2026 04:47

The other day, talking to my DS about his upcoming sleepover at grandma and grandads house.
I joked I was gonna leave him there forever, he said “but what about when they die?”

Ahh this is one of my favourites hahahaha the things they come out with actually kill me (pun unintended) lol

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:47

DilemmaDelilah · 19/04/2026 04:27

When my eldest was about 3.... 'Daddy's in the bath with NO clothes on!'

Hahahaha! The horror!

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:47

Tunnocks34 · 18/04/2026 22:03

My sister was once watching QVC the shopping channel where they were selling a pram. The host was comparing an older pram to the one they were selling and said ‘now what do you suppose the baby preferred to be in, this old pram of the ultra modern new one?’

my sister (age 8) rang up and answered the question as if she was one a quiz show ‘the baby prefers the ultra modern pram’

She thought she’d win it!

Omg hahahaha 😭 thats actually hilarious bless her haha

OP posts:
Original poster
worldshottestmom · 19/04/2026 19:45

101Alsatians · 18/04/2026 21:59

DS2 when aged 6 told me he really couldn't go to school as he was worried he was 'coming down with leprosy'. Assured him he wasn't, I got a disdainful look up and down with a muttered 'on your head be it'. No idea where he got that from ffs.

DS1 I think aged 5ish - asked what he fancied in his lunchbox.Stupid me should have specified like wrap,sandwhich or quiche etc. 'Some Yorkshire puddings...but not the ones you make.They're not nice,sorry.Can you ask Grandad to make them?'

He made do with something a bit more standard lol,but upon repeating the tale my Dad turned up the next morning with a plate of them.

They make me laugh sooo much,even now at 14 and nearly 10 they have such an,um,interesting take on people and the world😂

Hahaha this made me laugh it's the unfiltered honesty lmao

OP posts:
TeaAndSymumthy · 19/04/2026 15:04

My 4 year old son paid me a compliment this morning, he said “I like your long boobies mummy”

😒

BecauseofyouIlearntnottotrust · 19/04/2026 14:59

itsgettingweird · 19/04/2026 14:26

About 7 years old my ds insisted he wanted dead soldiers with his boiled egg.

Eventually figured out he wanted them toasted 🤷‍♀️😂

This tickled me 🤣🤣

KeyboardCat · 19/04/2026 14:57

My daughter was in a water nappy advert when she was about 2, it came up on my Facebook memories one day when she was 5 and my son was 7. I said 'oh look, do you remember when you were a model?' She laughed and said it was fun being a model. My son then said to her 'WAS a model, now you're just a washed-up old hag' 😂😂😂😂

Swipe left for the next trending thread