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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel hurt our friendship group went away without us?

306 replies

starships · 18/04/2026 19:45

Aibu to be hurt that the rest of our friendship group have gone away for 2 nights?

so friendship group of 3 couples, always all been there for each other, always invited all couples whenever we have arranged anything even if it wasn’t their cup of tea.

today we’ve been inundated by pictures from 2 of the couples who have gone away for an (expensive) city break to somewhere we love doing stuff that we love. Aibu to feel hurt that we were never asked? I’m genuinely shocked by this.. no issues with friendship at all but this has been planned for some time and no one told us..

just feel hurt that no one asked if we would like to come? a just a week ago they cancelled on us after having something booked for a number of months they all pulled out with various excuses.. seen them since with no issues so we’re a bit perplexed!

thanks all- just wondering if I’m being unreasonable to feel hurt or not?

OP posts:
SALaw · 19/04/2026 01:03

nomas · 18/04/2026 20:47

I think it would have been bad if all 3 couples went away without you but I don’t think two of the couples going away together is a big betrayal. They probably think the same.

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I think the 3 includes OP and partner?

Whoops75 · 19/04/2026 00:37

You’re naive to think this won’t change things.
It should, they treated you like Z list friends

I would ask some questions and decide if they were friends or not! Don’t be so passive!!

Whatsappweirdo · 18/04/2026 23:55

No way there isn’t a reason for this. It’s just a question of whether you ever find it out!

ToastSoldiers · 18/04/2026 23:52

Guiltypleasures001 · 18/04/2026 22:18

Could it be a secret swingers weekend op? Grin

Yes, maybe they’re sex people 😆

Twinkletoesandspaghettios · 18/04/2026 23:51

Whowhenwhatwear · 18/04/2026 23:34

It's beyond strange that they are sending you photos of their getaway, knowing they didn't invite you along. That is bizzare behaviour, and just seems cruel and calculated to cause hurt.

I would just ignore their holiday photos.

I don't think you could ever feel emotionally safe around them.

This hit the nail on the head

tartyflette · 18/04/2026 23:48

starships · 18/04/2026 19:59

Thank you, I said to them oh looks great, did we miss the invite and they said no they organised it just for themselves

just more hurt as they all cancelled on us last week for something else. 😂

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Well, that’s you told then, I suppose.

Bit harsh.

MrsCarmelaSoprano · 18/04/2026 23:40

Dave57 · 18/04/2026 20:04

I would say you are being manoeuvred out. Thats pretty bad. If some one in our group fancied a night or two away they would include everyone, and we are a much larger group so it does make it harder to sort.

Yes ,I agree, I'd find it hard to come back from that tbh.

Whowhenwhatwear · 18/04/2026 23:34

It's beyond strange that they are sending you photos of their getaway, knowing they didn't invite you along. That is bizzare behaviour, and just seems cruel and calculated to cause hurt.

I would just ignore their holiday photos.

I don't think you could ever feel emotionally safe around them.

Laura36TTC · 18/04/2026 23:31

Is it possible that they are swinging?

AClassicTrenchcoat · 18/04/2026 23:31

All most odd. If they wanted to call time on the friendship surely they would just phase you out. So go away and keep it quiet. Instead they are being upfront and sending you photos.

You are clearly the second tier couple, not all equal as you thought. Match people’s energy and treat them accordingly. Don’t let them know you are hurt.

Foxglovex · 18/04/2026 23:24

I would be very hurt by this given the history of your friendship. I guess how you navigate things going forward depends on how much these people mean to you and can you put this behind you.

I'm not sure I could be we all handle things in our own way

Twinkletoesandspaghettios · 18/04/2026 23:21

@starships I would be out of the friendship group after this. Not dramatically but I would take ages to reply to messages and be very closed with my answers and see if they continue to make any effort

I would also be very hurt. This wasn’t an accidental pint at a pub, it was a kept quiet, planned and coordinated trip away. That’s bad enough but the pointed and direct inundating you with pics of the trip is just nasty.

to be honest, if there was no drama before hand, I wouldn’t walk away, I would run.

Passingthrough123 · 18/04/2026 23:15

Do you have DC? If so, it’s probably an issue between the kids that’s driven a wedge in the group and theirs get on better.

SheSaidHummingbird · 18/04/2026 23:15

starships · 18/04/2026 20:49

Thanks for all the responses guys some really interesting takes on things, very grateful for the numerous different view points on this.

just to add I’m not going to fall out with them, I’m just a bit upset we weren’t included for whatever reason.

Why not? Have some self-respect. You don't deserve to be treated like this.

idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · 18/04/2026 23:12

I would just ask them very plainly why they didn’t invite you and say you have felt hurt as a result of this.

very odd and yes, hurtful.

unless they’re all shagging each other, in which case maybe preferable to be left out.

Whatwouldnanado · 18/04/2026 23:12

Widen your circle of friends. This lot really don’t seem very nice!

Thefingerofblame · 18/04/2026 23:06

starships · 18/04/2026 21:26

Very to be honest- all friendly and all text all the time. Never had crossed word or even a hint of any dislike whatsoever to be honest.

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Find out which one of the four suggested it and planned it. It’ll be this one, no doubt, that wants to leave you guys out - then you find out what their problem is with you or DH or both of you.

ultracynic · 18/04/2026 22:57

Do they have pampas grass in the front garden?

I’d have to blunt and ask how come you weren’t included this time, especially as they’d know it was something you’d enjoy.

DetectiveDouche · 18/04/2026 22:57

Hadenough32 · 18/04/2026 19:49

You'll have to just ask them. I'd say;

aww lovely pics, did we accidentally miss the invite or was this just for you 4? Enjoy xx

Along those lines then it doesn't look like you're annoyed but gives them a chance to explain

That does, in fact, scream annoyance 🤣

justcurious1234567 · 18/04/2026 22:49

@starships

justcurious1234567 · 18/04/2026 22:49

It’s a swinging weekend so be tgsnkful
you were left out!

Original poster
starships · 18/04/2026 22:47

Pyjamatimenow · 18/04/2026 22:39

This is odd. I’d suggest that someone doesn’t want you there. Are you sure your husband hasn’t done something you don’t know about?

Definitely sure about this- we are with each other pretty much all the time and he is a wonderful man that cares deeply about family and values our marriage- it would be pretty much impossible without me knowing if I’m totally honest due to how we share accounts on phones etc

OP posts:
SmashThePatriarchy · 18/04/2026 22:42

Hadenough32 · 18/04/2026 19:49

You'll have to just ask them. I'd say;

aww lovely pics, did we accidentally miss the invite or was this just for you 4? Enjoy xx

Along those lines then it doesn't look like you're annoyed but gives them a chance to explain

Worst advice ever.

Pyjamatimenow · 18/04/2026 22:41

Who posted the pics? That’s probably the person who has beef with you

Pyjamatimenow · 18/04/2026 22:39

This is odd. I’d suggest that someone doesn’t want you there. Are you sure your husband hasn’t done something you don’t know about?