I had no idea that my friend is a multi millionaire!!

www.thetimes.com/article/d7de30f1-598f-49ce-a8ce-0896155b41eb?shareToken=43e0ddbc533b5cfd550a32f499f5d09c

Really interesting about comparative wealth and how people end up overspending on conspicuous items.

I was hurt as whilst she saw me struggling over years, talked about it, especially with housing, house shares.. she never said, look I own a bunch of houses, this is how you do it.

If you had no money and were struggling then how on earth could you have started buying up houses like she did?? you wouldnt have had the finances in the first place to start. You need money to buy houses

I think it's weird as heck to expect your wealthy friend to start telling or even explaining to her friends who are struggling how much money she's earning- it would come off like a total brag and highly insensitive. Not to mention really patronising as if you're an infant and she's trying to school you

Bloody hell calm down ragging on the OP, anyone would be shocked if a supposedly average pal was uber wealthy.

My friends are absolutely all different backgrounds and the ones which I find important to me are loved because of who they are, and the way they brighten my life. Their personalities and how we get on with each other are far more important than their jobs, bank accounts and careers.

I agree with others that this is something you seem overly invested in, to your detriment. Your friend is someone you should love regardless of her finances. It's a bit uncouth to be snooping online and finding out all the ins anf outs of her business.

I’ve said YANBU.

I agree, it makes sense to be shocked. I used to have a friend.. I found out she owned/ part owned 6 houses. We were friends for more than 20 years.

I wasn’t jealous, but I did feel hurt she never said (maybe that makes me worse than you, in the eyes of some posters here :))

She had seen me struggle since teenage years with insecure housing, not enough money (due to no family support.) As we got older I continued to find it hard.. if you can’t build wealth, of course the situation stays quite similar.

I was hurt as whilst she saw me struggling over years, talked about it, especially with housing, house shares.. she never said, look I own a bunch of houses, this is how you do it. Then one day she told me. I just felt pretty stupid to be honest. And I wish she could have given me so advice, rather than just watch me for several decades. (She was one of my closest friends,) so different situation to you, but I empathise with the shock!

She was also someone that would give strange, recycled gifts.

Maybe the only thing I can suggest is, try to focus on the small and beautiful things in your life. I’m sure you do! Try not to feel badly, what they can offer their children and you can’t. I really understand, but I’m sure you love yours deeply, support them etc, so yours will still do well :) 🙏

I have so many thoughts on this...

Firstly, that people should really use the word 'acquintance' more often. 'Friend' should be reserved for people you love and have a deep meaningful relationship with.

Secondly, how would they tell you? 'So by the way, Jackie, we are totally loaded'? Discussing your finances with someone who isn't directly impacted by your finances is weird full stop, but announcing your finances to someone who is less well off would just be a very bizzarre conversation. How would it even start?

So I happen to be quite wealthy if that helps for context. I'm around 'normal' payday to payday people a lot of the time, apart from maybe grooming/body language, I don't give out any overt signs of wealth. Fair, I don't drive an old banger, but it's not eaxactly an Aston Martin. I may be dressed head to toe in expensive items, but they aren't visually branded, so unless you know fashion well, you wouldn't be able to tell. I don't join conversations about money/cost of living, or just nod along.

Most people I know probably assume I am saving for my first house and don't have much of a pension. For example, when I buy or sell a property or similar, I wouldn't mention in.

Whereas a lady at work is currently doing it and we all know every tiny detail, her deposit, rate and whatnot. Generally all my colleagues seem to have disclosed their mortgage rates to everybody!

I don't want to make people feel bad or create gossip and barrier, so avoid money conversations all together - from your reaction I can see why your friend may have done that. For example, people that are more comfortable than others routinely get slagged off or be expected to pay for everybody, and nobody wants their money to become 'a thing'.

I sometimes talk to someone who thinks she's very well off. She'll brag about her holiday home or an event they went to because 'they weren't really interested but it was fancy so they paid x'. I say nothing and just nod and smile as my goal is not to create a comparison moment for them and rain on their parade.

Now, I have always had a lot of contact with other people who are wealthy or very wealthy, including billionaires. When one is in the company of their financial peers, one may talk about money. Because you're in the same spending bracket and with similar concerns or money decisions.

If two people are deciding between the latest Ferrari or Lamborghini, it makes sense for them to chat freely and openly about the merits of each car. If they are having coffee with the Ford Fiesta guy, save for specific circumstances, it's extremely rude to mention about buying a 100K car if it's not a shared topic with the other person and all it'll achieve is make them resent you or think you're a show-off. So you don't, and talk instead about your shared interest in coffee.

Similarly, a billionaire wouldn't talk about their manor renovation and where to procure the best materials with me.

I know - what a heap of shite!

Assets are generally valued on a going concern basis in accounts and in no way represent their net realisable value. For example land and buildings are included at their original cost not their current value.

Surely you knew, since your friend lives in a house twice the value of yours, that there was a difference in your relative wealth? Ok this is more than you were aware but I don’t think you need let it make you feel bad about your own successes or achievements.

And honestly I don’t think I’d envy (or even necessarily want to spend time with) someone who gave me obviously freebie or recycled gifts. Not that I’d spect anything at all, but a crappy gift feels careless and disrespectful. Who needs friends like that?

Wax melts, Vinted, pyramid scheme beauty, raspberry ketones, fanny waxing, fake lashes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

without you posting the name of the company, its hard for anyone to check what you’ve read and explain it to you. I’m skeptical they’re turning over 100m and you’ve not clocked that before though, because that’s pretty significant, even a bank would classify that as ‘mid corporate’. but as others have said, what their profit is is what matters, and they may not be paying themselves very much from the business, and are reinvesting it for example. Too hard to say without scanning the accounts. Don’t let it spoil your friendship and don’t let on you’ve been snooping. Height of bad taste and if you did that to me, and you brought it up with me, we would no longer be friends.

So you've got a wealthy friend that has done fuck all for you

Net worth is also not profit

Even if he inherited the business you dont turn over 100 million by sitting on your arse doing nothing, he will have had to be working for it. The responsibility of owning and running a multi million pound company is immense and probably very, very stressful indeed.

Besides, that has no bearing on the fact that your jealousy isnt helping you is it? or are you saying you wouldnt be at all envious and bitter if he had started it himself?

If you have a business I am very surprised you dont seem to know the difference between turnover and profit

Op. I also don’t think you understand what you’ve read,

so you looked up your freinds company on company’s house and looked at the accounts, right.

you saw turnover at 100m. You say it’s worth 20. But the value isn’t listed, it’s usually a multiplier of ebitda. And I’m not sure you know how to do this.

do they own it completely , are there other share holders, does he take dividends, what are the earnings?

But he still has to run it? He didn’t just get “gifted” it and it just magically continues? He takes all the legal and financial risk?
I think you are comparing your business with his and feeling….a bit less than.

Yes, this is so true. People are envious of the end result but they arent envious enough or willing to put in the sacrifices that it took to get there!

The multi millionaire I know is a complete workaholic, and even though he's now of retirement age he isnt stopping. He's been divorced 3 times because he works so much it puts a huge strain on his relationships. In the beginning he was working 12 hour days an often most weekends. He literally cant or wont stop working and I do think its been to the detriment of his family life.
At one point he even lost it all and managed to build it all back up again from scratch. His life has been a complete rollercoaster of stress.

I dont think most people are willing to actually go through all of that no matter how much they say they'd "love to have that much money". Its easy to sit back and look at what he's got with envy when you dont have to go through it to get it.

Because you have confused turnover with profit and seem to think a balance sheet is net worth? It’s not.

Generally agree - but why have you counted and totted up all the hours your son has spent practising piano?

How do you even know (unless he's a child prodigy).

That's just weird (and sounds like a backhanded brag).

As everyone else has said, turnover not the same as profit.

Most self made millionaires have had to put huge hours and take enormous risks (loans, etc) to get where they are, it’s not just “luck”. I don’t begrudge them a penny, and without them there’d be no jobs other than the public sector. If you’re jealous, why not start your own business?

From the original OP, seems like they are not money obsessed - just very fortunate.

They may be getting their heads around their current unusual circumstances, and also value friends who like them for who they are rather than their bank balance.

What are all the businesses that people run on MN?
I am constantly reading posts where people say they run their 'own successful business' and I am always intrigued to know what they are.