I had no idea that my friend is a multi millionaire!!

Net worth almost certainly means its their business, which is an asset, is worth that were they to sell it. A businesses value also fluctuates. It doesn't mean they have that much sitting in the bank. I would imagine they pay themselves a decent wage/dividends but doesn't mean they're personally receiving millions in cash every year.

Thus dictating how they should spend their money. You believe they should not buy anything second hand for a work kitchen otherwise they are tight. Why would they spend their hard earned money on people who are jealous, entitled?

I was surprised when I found out that a relative through marriage had made his first million a few years ago. (He told us. No, he wasn't boasting.)

He and his wife live modestly in an ex-council house. They've not changed their lifestyle dramatically. I think that that might be more common than we realise.

The next thing that will happen is when you need something you can't afford and start feeling resentful that she doesn't offer to pay for it, 'when she so easily could.' It will make you feel as if you're not really friends. She will start to feel that people only seek her company because they want handouts.

I can see why they kept it quiet. It's nice that they don't feel their status among their friends depends on them showing off how rich they are.

It has bothered you enough to search their business accounts, start a thread and describe yourself as jealous.

Well quite! By your own logic we shouldn't believe these people have been your friends for decades given you're souch worse off than them financially...

I understand where you’re coming from with being shocked. But also as others have said, turnover does not mean profit and it doesn’t mean they pay themselves thousands either.

There is no point in being jealous as it will rob you of your own happiness and as you said, you thought before this you were doing well. Money doesn’t equal happiness and I am sure your friends have worked their asses off to get where they are and had some very stressful times.

Not everyone with money is extravagant either and that’s absolutely fine. My FIL is a very wealthy man, but if you didn’t know you would never suspect it. The man walks around with holes in his socks, drives his cars around until they are total scrap.

although i wish i was rich, this is why id be secret rich if i was

Wow you really do sound awful!

@shockedpuppy on paper they may seem rich, but in terms of actual cash in the bank it could depend on what investments or other activites the capital is tied up with @shockedpuppy

Doesn’t bother you and they’re a lovely couple but you’ve made the points that they’re tight with drinks, gifts, and now that their business was “given to them not built by them”. No wonder they don’t discuss their finances with you.

YANBU
After knowing them for 35 years, I think realistically most people would be very shocked.

I feel embarrassed for you and sorry for them.
Why do you think you have have the right to count their money, and make assumptions about their private finances - and you’re clearly ill informed too. Why is it your right to decide how much they should spend or behave financially?
Jealousy is your problem, if you want wealth why don’t you go and earn it and take some risks?
Don’t you have better things to do than snoop on your friends?

That says more about you than anything else. Don't judge everyone else by your standards

@aredrosegrewup I have no wish to dictate how they spend their money. I'm illustrating that millionaires in my limited experience, are stingy tight- arses when it comes to spending on others.

You have a lot less financially than your friends and they still hang around with you

So what? You don't get to dictate what people spend their money on.

You already won life’s lottery by being born in the UK (I assume), one of the top ten wealthiest countries in the world . We’ve got the NHS, pretty good schooling, a safe country and it sounds like you can probably go on holiday once a year. Be happy for your friend and look at what you’ve got not what you haven’t in comparison to your friend.

@aredrosegrewup if they ever went to charity shops for their own things that would have been lovely..But they didn't . They only bought second-hand for their employees.

I used to have a business that turned over millions of pounds a year. Sometimes things were so tight that I couldn’t even take a modest wage and I was paying the PAYE bill on my credit cards. I’m sure most of my staff thought I was rolling in cash, when in reality I had zero savings (everything had gone into the business) and drove the crappest car in the company. Things did improve and eventually I sold up, but it was nowhere near the amount I was supposedly worth ‘on paper’. Enough to pay the mortgage off and bung a few quid in the pension.

Turnover means nothing. It always riles me on ‘Rich House Poor House’ where they use it as some kind of flex. It’s utterly meaningless.

I just feel a bit Meh, as we will never attain anything like this. Just one million would do me, lol. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I feel absolutely positively green with envy.

Snooping on Companies House, starting a thread on here discussing your friend's financial situation - you sounds deeply unpleasant, call yourself a friend?

It clearly does bother you though otherwise why would your first thought be to post a thread on here explicitly detailing how tight you thought they were.

If you're just surprised then you wouldn't have checked online and then made the thread.

I bet you'd complain if they were spend spend spend on brand new everything instead of buying second hand and that money going towards the charity?