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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get irritated when women constantly reference their partner or kids in conversations?

36 replies

OnePeachPoet · 18/04/2026 14:17

I’ve noticed this in conversations and wondered if it’s just me.

Some women seem to frame almost everything through their partner or kids - e.g. “my husband said…” or “you wouldn’t understand because you don’t have kids.” I get that those are big parts of their lives, but occasionally it can feel a bit dismissive or like your perspective doesn’t count.

AIBU to find this a bit irritating?

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 18/04/2026 14:27

It's one form of having a one track conversation just as much as if someone spoke about their favourite football team all the time, so the OP is fair to not like it.

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/04/2026 14:27

Can you maybe include an example? At the moment ‘
I’m struggling to see what your issue is. I can’t say I have particularly noticed anyone doing this to an extrreme.

OnePeachPoet · 18/04/2026 14:25

TFImBackIn · 18/04/2026 14:21

I know what you mean. At work you have to take into account someone's husband's point of view when nobody even knows him and his thoughts just aren't relevant.

You get it.

OP posts:
OnePeachPoet · 18/04/2026 14:25

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/04/2026 14:19

People referencing their husbands and kids in conversations is pretty normal, but saying you wouldn’t understand as you don’t have kids is rude. Do you not mention your partner?

I agree it’s normal to mention partners/kids, I mention my partner too. What I’m saying is when it becomes the lens for everything, rather than just part of the conversation. That’s what I find a bit grating.

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 18/04/2026 14:24

I just think people’s partners and kids take up so much of their lives that it’s hard to talk about your life, your holidays or about what you’re doing at the weekend/are cooking for dinner etc without referencing them?

Empis · 18/04/2026 14:24

That last statement is not remotely the same as "referencing kids", your thinking seems a bit woolly.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/04/2026 14:23

TFImBackIn · 18/04/2026 14:21

I know what you mean. At work you have to take into account someone's husband's point of view when nobody even knows him and his thoughts just aren't relevant.

It’s not always out of context though. If you are discussing what to order for lunch and someone says ‘well my husband doesn’t like Chinese food’ then yeah it’s irrelevant, but general open discussions it’s not particularly odd to reference other people’s experiences or opinions.

AgentPidge · 18/04/2026 14:22

Yeah, I agree with ToKitty, above. I mention my DH all the time! Not my kids though. I would never say anything about someone not having kids - it's incredibly insensitive, unless you know they didn't/don't want them. Is this multiple people saying this, or just one?

TFImBackIn · 18/04/2026 14:21

I know what you mean. At work you have to take into account someone's husband's point of view when nobody even knows him and his thoughts just aren't relevant.

Cosyblankets · 18/04/2026 14:20

Guessing you're single with no kids.
I agree with PP nothing wrong with referring to them but saying you wouldn't understand if you don't have kids is patronising in the extreme.
I don't have kids no one has ever said that to me

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/04/2026 14:19

People referencing their husbands and kids in conversations is pretty normal, but saying you wouldn’t understand as you don’t have kids is rude. Do you not mention your partner?

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