How to handle unsolicited religious callers?

I don't believe the OP, obviously a goady troll, nobody on MN answers the front door!

Tell them you devil worship

I do tire of this.
we used to have it endlessly and my poor DH who WFH just couldn’t concentrate, it was that often.
more charity work if I’m honest rather than religious…but it was relentless.
My DH was always firm but very nice about it. He’d often explain he was working which I think was his downfall because Often they saw that as opportunity to come back later. he’d say no but they still did.

one night they knocked on my door about 9.30 pm. I was livid. I mean who knocks on someone’s door at that time of night. I answered it because it was that time of night…i thought my neighbours needed help or something.I told them they absolutely cannot come on my private property uninvited at this time of night. I don’t know the laws about that 🤣 but that’s exactly how I felt. They went sloping off my drive but still managed to shout out some cheek about it’s a free country, they can do what they want ( which is possibly true 🤣)

I complained to their charity. First time I’ve ever done that. Didn’t go anywhere, didn’t even get a reply.

after that incident, we put up a “No Cold Calls” sign. Didn’t think it work but it absolutely has! Have had one group call since and I wasn’t in actually …but could see on my house cameras that they had seen the sign and were googling what it meant. And they still get it. They stood discussing it for a good 10 mins on my drive . Whilst I think really, what has education come to…I get it’s probably my generation, not theirs.

anyway absolutely get a sign!!!!

'I'm Catholic' usually sees them off!

I literally just close the door

No thanks, close the door. Easy

Me too.

There was one occasion when I was asleep, having had a migraine that kept me up me up most of the night vomitting, when I was seriously tempted to kick them down the front steps though...

Ask for them to make a note to not visit your address again in future. I find it such an invasion, especially when people are so persistent.

Recent exchange:
“Can I ask, do you have a bible in your house?”
”Yes thanks, we have 3” (actually true)
**smile and shut front door

Just say you’re not interested, thanks, and shut the door, OP. It’s not that complicated. They can’t ’persist’ from the wrong side of a shut front door.

I look out the window and if I see Mormons or Jovos I just don’t open the door.

I now want photos. You sounds magnificent!

We have three small churches of this type near us (JWs and 2 different "gospel hall" type independents). I go to a CofE church a bit further away so if they knock I say "My salvation is sorted, thank you, God Bless you" and shut the door. It's not up to me to try to change their minds about what to believe about people who don't share their beliefs.

You say "no thank you" and close the door.

Obviously.

We get very few of these due to being so rural but I seem to have been struck off from the few we do from having fun “educating” them on some of my “beliefs”. They don’t seem keen to return, I can’t imagine why. This delivered by crutch wielding, green haired, wild eyed hippie who resembles a swamp hag if I don’t have makeup on (which is 95% of the time) and with at least one cat/hare on her shoulder seems effective.

A firm no is enough.

If I’ve been daft enough to open the door (rare), I just close it again.

If they were JWs you can contact them to be put on the no knocking list.

Not interested thank you, door closes, fin

I really wonder how some people get through the day

I used to be friends with a lady vicar and her husband who was a minor canon. They used to invite cold calling religious people in then start talking theology, origins of the Bible, versions of the Bible, tricky questions of attribution and meaning, asking if they had read and studied theological discussion texts etc etc etc. Their visitors didn’t usually stay long, but the ones who did left with more knowledge than when they knocked.

But unless you have the knowledge to back up this approach the best response is a smile, and a closed door.

I once had one give a despairing cry as the door closed “ But aren’t you interested in World Peace?” I am sorry to say I said “No.”

Yeah whatever you do don't take their pamphlets or brochures etc. if a polite 'no I'm not interested, bye' doesn't deter them you could try saying you are a devout follower of a different religion. Then say bye and shut the door.

I called JW head office to try and get them to stop, it worked for about 6 months. They kept coming and then sent a letter through the door in Portuguese addressed to my long deceased father?! Who didnt speak Portuguese...It was a bit much and I told the head office guy so politely.

Though TBF I've not seen them for a while. It doesn't help that my door faces directly onto quite a busy thoroughfare. So more appealing to door knockers than a block.

Seriously, you're asking for advice on this, you're discombobulated........

Why would you say this? I know exactly the type of people the OP means.

I just say no thanks as I’m shutting the door, not rude but keep closing it no matter what they’re saying.

"Not interested." Shut door.

"I don't do religion " Shut door.

If I'm particularly tired, ill, cranky or hungover. "I'm sorry, we're all Satanists here." Grin like a loon. Wait for them to back off. Or shut door.

Edited for spelling and punctuation.

With a broken ankle (did mine in 2024) and not expecting anyone, I wouldn't be hobbling over to answer a knock in the first place, but otherwise I'd ask who they were through the closed door first of all, and then just tell them I wasn't interested.