To avoid colleague whose weight loss

There is no subject on the planet i want to hear aboit constantly so would never subject anyone else to it it is rude, no idea why jealousy would have anything to do with it, just shows someone has an obsession and needs a hobby

Oh YANBU of course. Nothing more boring than someone banging on constantly about ANYthing, but people who have lost a lot of weight are especially tedious and annoying! I just zone out and switch off.

I know someone who lost 4 stone between October 2021 and August 2022, and kept making 'you can do it too' comments, and they even said to me 'I notice how much you overeat when I'm dieting/eating healthily.'🙄 I know to some people, when they're cutting down, anyone who is eating more than them seems 'greedy' but what a fucking nasty thing to say.

She has regained every ounce now, and another stone on top, which delights me and amuses me in equal measures. 😆#sorrynotsorry (She started regaining it around August/September 2023.)

But yeah @southcoastsammy just try to let it go in one ear and out of the other. When people bang on about their weight loss, it's so delicious when they regain the weight. 😆 Just wait it out, she will pile it all back on. Most people do.

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YANBU to avoid her, I would do the same but its not up to you to try and control what someone talks about.

I used to avoid my colleague who seemed to think she was the only person to be engaged, plan a wedding, get married, buy a car, have children etc. She drove me nuts, yes Brenda I gave birth too but don't want to share every detail.....

I would also find it triggering, and I love running and lifting. I don't mind a bit of conversation about it and swapping tips, sharing successes and goals, etc., but it hits differently when it's framed in this way and becomes someone's entire personality.

I'd be pleased for the colleague but that little ED voice would also start up in the back of my head, telling me I'm lazy, if I don't eat as little as she does I'll get fat/people will think I'm a fat cow/not a proper runner etc and it would start pushing me to undereat her, outrun her and out train her and madness would ensue.

I would just change the subject @southcoastsammy, smile, nod, congratulate her, and then ask her what she watched on TV last night.

I'd be jealous as hell and absolutely not want to hear about it!

This is a bit of a stretch to blame societies reaction towards WLI for a woman who chooses to go on about this .

Many people use WLIs while at the gym too and they do often change their diet while on WLI since their cravings/food noise is supposedly reduced, so her sharing about the gym and diet doesn’t even “prove” she isn’t on WLI. She may not even be on them.

And it doesn’t sound like anyone is asking her about if she’s on WLI. You don’t necessarily know why she’s going on about her lifestyle change. But either way it’s dull.

I’m sure people have worked with people like her before WLI were a big thing and they would still just go on about it.

Honestly OP I feel it’s a bit inconsiderate of her. Aside from the fact it’s boring to go on about any one subject, many people have previous issues with disordered eating and can actually be negatively affected. I remember being at a writing retreat and one of the younger women told me and had to leave when people started talking about calories. I have calorie counted for a while and been on a weight loss journey but I don’t just share it with everyone I come across or go on at length about it.

I use Mumsnet to talk about weight loss on relevant threads and I have one friend who is also trying to lose weight that I check in with every so often so we can share our progress. This means that I don’t feel the need to drone on about it to everyone in work/social situations.

I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable telling her to change the topic think as I guess it’s up to her what she talks about . If she spoke to me directly, I’d probably just change the subject.

You mean on here or in real life? On here there is a forum if you want support. It’s still not the point of the OPs post.

YANBU.

I felt this to my very core, OP. I have a relative who is OBSESSED with weight (both her own and other people’s). She talks about her weight and the weight of others all of the time. She will even comment on my weight to me, which I’ve asked her to stop, but she doesn’t listen.

It was worse when she was on WLI because she’d send me pictures of herself, plus photos of her scales etc. My final straw with her was when she said that someone we knew “just keeps getting bigger and bigger.” I don’t respond to her pictures anymore.

Protect your sanity, OP and do whatever you need to do.

But the OP doesnt!!!

I wouldnt bang on for ages nonstop about my children to someone who clearly wasnt interested

But your point is completely moot because the OP is trying to get through a day at work without this woman banging on.

She is not CHOOSING the conversation as she would on an internet forum.

I'm not sure why you're not getting that?

Some people might want to hear about that, as it might help them too?

Oh my life! Nothing more boring. I’ve got one in my team, constantly yo-yo dieting, joining weight watchers, trying couch to 5K, this fad, that fad. Never seem to change size but everyone is always like - well done, good on you, so encouraging. I think you might as well face facts, it’s all talk, it’s been the best part of a decade and nothing has changed!!!

Agree! I find it tricky avoiding chatty people and getting on with work without appearing anti social... I think in this situation "having a chat" would definitely make atmosphere or drama at workplace

I wouldn't say anything to her but carry on avoiding.
Personally I find the new experts in life very annoying, more so at work settings. Same goes for man-splainers (I have 2 at work currently). Lucky for me, we are allowed headphones. I also mastered "Im so busy I was concentrating on work and didn't hear what you said" look.

What happens if you change the subject?

Or just call her out on it: "OK we can have 10 minutes of gym chat a day and then that's it because it's getting a bit much."

@MissPobjoysPonies I've also lost a lot of weight and HATE talking about it, or being asked about it. It's the least interesting thing about me and I've had a bitch of a year at work and so weight loss has been the smallest thing on my mind. I find it quite insulting that it's all people want to wang on about. Was I always ever and only just a meat sack to everyone?

Why do you continue to ignore that fact that this woman wont stop talking about it?

Noone wants to listen to one subject non stop

The OP isnt interested it it so your point doesnt even apply here

She's obviously lost the weight on WLIs and good for her that she's going some exercise to help keep it in check, but she obviously feels she has to constantly remind everyone see that she's working at it.

Perhaps if slim people stopped behaving sneerily around WLIs as if it's cheating and fat people don't deserve to get slimmer unless they do it the hard way, she wouldn't feel the need to keep banging on about the gym.

Do you not follow this advice, it’s really mean.

Why would you want to say something hurtful to anyone, regardless of whether you like them or not.

be kind.

Oh god I think I’d have to say something as this would drive me mad!

Nothing is worse than someone who suddenly thinks they’re an expert in something and drones on about it constantly.

Perhaps make a joke about it to her at first and see if she takes the hint.

I know a few people who have done similar and I think it happens because it becomes such a huge part of their life and I think also because they're a bit worried about old habits creeping in. So it can become quite all consuming. 18 months to lose so much weight is very fast so it's probably been very intense for her.

I totally agree that it's incredibly dull listening to it on repeat though (as it is with anything on repeat) and I also think when it starts to turn into unsolicited advice it can become quite harmful (she has no idea who will have struggled with disordered eating and who hasn't. ) so I don't think yabu at all to want to distance yourself. You can be glad for her and impressed by her and bored of it at the same time and you can put distance between yourself and anyone you want to.

I would say since it's a work capacity you need to balance this carefully. She shouldn't be feeling you're actively avoiding her because that could be interpreted hurtfully and you don't want it to compromise your working relationship.

"But if you're used to reading all the weightloss threads then your view will be skewed."

My point was that those threads are popular enough to get into Active. It's not a special interest you have to go looking for.
It's also a big topic in newspapers, magazines and on social media.

Tell her. This is one of those time when being too 'British' means you are just avoiding having a discussion that needs to be had.

'Oi work pal you've been going on about your weight loss for a year! You look great and I'm happy for you, but change the record for once eh? Let me tell about my holiday etc etc...'

Job done.

I would find that annoying, whatever subject, not just weight loss.
I dont get your AIBU option. Choosing a desk away from her is fine, I would likely do the same but would resent it if I sat long away from people I normaly need to sit close by.

Love this🤣🤣