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AIBU?

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To push my autistic demand avoidant child into doing something they don’t want to

29 replies

Worrieddancemum · 17/04/2026 22:59

AIBU to push my 12 year old demand avoidant daughter into trying out a dance class/audition that I suspect she will really enjoy, but is out of her comfort zone.

Shes a mega talented dancer, and has been scouted to audition for an associate training position. She’s always danced at the same school, and this would be with no one she knows, so admittedly scary.

The audition is an hour long and in a group of similar aged kids.

If she would be successful it would really develop her technique and I suspect she would love it. She does compete etc so she’s pretty brave in that regard, but her demand avoidance really presents as a stumbling block in situations such as this.

I don’t know what to do!

OP posts:
Worrieddancemum · 17/04/2026 23:10

@GreatMintPeer that’s my worry, I’m overly sensitive about doing that and walk on eggs shells with her most of the time 😬

OP posts:
Oleoreoleo · 17/04/2026 23:08

What would “pushing” look like exactly?

PinoirNot · 17/04/2026 23:07

Yeah, do it. What’s the worst that could happen?

GreatMintPeer · 17/04/2026 23:04

YANBU but don’t push her too hard. In my experience with a 17 year old autistic DS (diagnosed as a young child) pushing them too far in one direction sometimes causes them to push back the other way. Try indroducing it as something she could try one session of without long-term commitment and go from there.

Might it be a performance anxiety related thing?

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