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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to beg him

57 replies

heidi696 · 17/04/2026 22:24

my Boyfriend and I seem to be in this horrible cycle: he does or says something that upsets me. I try to explain. He disappears and won’t talk. The longest he left me on read was 48 hours. On Thurs night he upset me and I snapped. He ignored me despite me messaging him all day today asking can we talk. He eventually texted me this evening and I tried to talk to explain. I suggested we call but he didn’t want to: so it was all on text. Then I thought we were just talking and he suddenly to my mind anyway takes offense and says he is not talking any more: I say please don’t disappear again please stay. I end up humiliating myself and calling him about 5 times and texting him please stay. But he won’t. I hate myself that it makes me so upset that I lose control. I don’t know how to make things better between us. The ignoring thing just drives me a bit crazy/ my ex used to do this for days / weeks on end and it triggers me . I’ve told him this before and he said he will try. But whenever ther is any kind of conflict he does it again. And the cycle repeats. I hate him for doing it but hate myself more/

OP posts:
heidi696 · 17/04/2026 22:31

Yeh probably the advice I would give too. I really like him though. Most of the time. I wish I could control myself. And not let the ignoring bother me.

OP posts:
tsmainsqueeze · 17/04/2026 22:31

This is no way to live , a relationship that is meant to be should be easy , no games ,no messing about , mutual respect , kindness.
You aren't describing this ,you should move on and absolutely no way should you be begging anyone for anything, have some self respect.

IndigoBabble · 17/04/2026 22:31

How old are you OP? I’m not meaning that as patronising more like I can see this in myself when I was younger and worry that if you keep going with this relationship it will escalate. It’s controlling behaviour. Putting you in you place. Please don’t let this man treat you like this x

XMissPlacedX · 17/04/2026 22:31

He loves it, the control and how desperate he can make you. You need to get some dignity and self esteem. I’m not trying to be mean, honestly. But each time you do that you are playing straight into his hands.

GinWizard · 17/04/2026 22:30

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. You deserve better.

WhyArePiratesCalledPirates · 17/04/2026 22:29

Throw this one back.
Not a winner.

Decacaffeinatednow · 17/04/2026 22:28

This is no way to live. Just end it.