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AIBU?

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AIBU, Is my neighbour a CF?

161 replies

tobermoryisthebestwomble · 17/04/2026 21:28

Earlier this week my NDN knocked on our door to advise he was having some landscaping work done, and the workers would be spraying the garden with weedkiller. We have a cat that sometimes goes in the garden so he was letting us know so we could keep cat indoors.

I came home from work today to find a portaloo with the landscapers name on, on my land right up against my house. We are detached and have a strip of lawn between our houses then I have some paving (basically a path that goes nowhere) and a fence with no gate, as our access is at other side. The portaloo is sited on my side, and gives easy access to their gate so the workers can get in and out.

I'm rather bemused, if I was going to contract a company who were bringing their own loo:
A) I would find somewhere on my own plot to put it
B) if a) was not possible I would approach my neighbours and ask them very nicely if I could put a loo on their land

AIBU to expect that people don't put toilets on other people's land? Are my neighbours CF?

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 17/04/2026 23:38

Find a padlock and put it on the portaloo so they can’t get in. Cheeky fuckers i do really love cunt face

AInightingale · 17/04/2026 23:38

ShakyBake · 17/04/2026 21:53

This exact scenario happened to an old neighbour of ours (on the other side with number 48) and ended in a disaster. Basically, a decision was made that the builders would only do numbers 1's and no number 2's but the roofer took his blowtouch in and accidentally set it alight and it burnt down and now they don't speak at all

Also, what does CF mean?

In what possible circumstances would you use a blowtorch in a toilet? Was there a build-up of methane or something? He sounds like a 14 year old boy lighting his own farts.

StephensLass1977 · 17/04/2026 23:36

Oh my gosh, this brings back terrible memories of my London flat. Big shared courtyard, but the houses opposite (so not even part of our development) were getting work done and used our private courtyard for the workers' portaloo. 🤬 I'm sure our development caretaker was taking backhanders.

Anyway - you have never known a smell like it when they are emptied. We couldn't have our windows open for weeks, as the work lasted that long. We would dread emptying day. Honestly, the stench is like nothing you have experienced. Get this stopped right away. Your neighbours are not unaware, belive me. They know exactly what they're doing. I have a neighbour like this where we are now, unfortunately. Always nicking my parking space, hangs out chatting on my doorstep, etc. You've got to nip it in the bud or it's a slippery slope.

RogueFemale · 17/04/2026 23:35

@tobermoryisthebestwomble Not acceptable to plant a Portaloo on your land, but I'd be far more fucked off with the weed killer spraying. So bad for wildlife.

Hedgehogforshort · 17/04/2026 23:32

Hannaseed · 17/04/2026 23:17

Why? What's funny?

I rest my case 😂

socialdontcare · 17/04/2026 23:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Franjipanl8r · 17/04/2026 23:18

If it’s new and hasn’t been pood in, you could always just push it over back onto their land.

Hannaseed · 17/04/2026 23:17

Hedgehogforshort · 17/04/2026 23:16

Well you have had a sense of humour bypass

Why? What's funny?

Hedgehogforshort · 17/04/2026 23:16

Hannaseed · 17/04/2026 23:14

Just tell them to move it. No need for a 2 thread drama about it.

Well you have had a sense of humour bypass

Hannaseed · 17/04/2026 23:14

Just tell them to move it. No need for a 2 thread drama about it.

tiptoethrutulips · 17/04/2026 23:13

Call the company and tell them it needs to be moved immediately.

Caniweartheseones · 17/04/2026 23:10

Legoleopard · 17/04/2026 22:00

I thought it stood for CF - C*NT FACE

Glad that's been explained!

Yes they are being a cf!

I always read CF as Crumpet Fucker after an America university friend who was bullied about his Americanness called his English bullies “tea sipping crumpet fuckers”.

olympicsrock · 17/04/2026 23:08

Maybe it’s a mistake and the company have mistaken your house for theirs? Benefit of the doubt ?

maybe see if neighbours come over to apologise. If not , you could say “nightmare - the company putting the portaloo outside our house by mistake, when are they coming to move it? “

VividPinkTraybake · 17/04/2026 23:06

Iloveacurry · 17/04/2026 21:48

They need to move it, definitely CFs!

...or talk to them because they might not realise the company did it. But sure escalate it

sesquipedalian · 17/04/2026 23:00

Re portaloo: last time I had big work done on the house, I told the builders they could use the downstairs loo, but they said no, they always brought a portaloo because they found it easier.
OP, you need to ask CF neighbours to move the loo. It’s monstrous, just plonking it on your property!

PinoirNot · 17/04/2026 22:58

outerspacepotato · 17/04/2026 21:47

Get your butt over there and tell them that's unacceptable.

Since when does spraying weedkiller require a porta potty? They should be in and out.

Edited

They’re not just spraying weed killer. In the OP it does say that the neighbours are doing a landscaping project, and the weed killer spray will be something that they’re doing as part of that.

It’s not a potty either, it’s a portaloo, which is a lot bigger, it’s an enclosed temporary toilet that’s normally about the size of a phone box, so it’s not something OP could easily move herself.

That said, I’d have spoken to the neighbour about it first.

Piglet89 · 17/04/2026 22:58

Jesus. Christ.

Phone your neighbour, tell them what’s happened and tell them to tell their builders to move the portaloo they’ve put on your plot, like the cheeky fucks they are.

HortiGal · 17/04/2026 22:57

@stichguru I see them everywhere for extensions being built, big landscaping jobs, seems nobody wants the workmen in their house 🙄

HortiGal · 17/04/2026 22:55

@ShakyBake
Cunt Face 🤣🤣🤣

Hedgehogforshort · 17/04/2026 22:51

tobermoryisthebestwomble · 17/04/2026 22:46

That's a glasto core memory right there 😂

Well if we are going to go Glastonbury you need to wait until someone is in it i saw that happen.

tobermoryisthebestwomble · 17/04/2026 22:51

WearyAuldWumman · 17/04/2026 22:41

It has to be moved.

I agree with @stichguru : they should be using your neighbours' loo.

This is a new build development, they have three loos in the house, and there's only two of them! Guessing they wanted the landscapers to be able to work on their garden whilst NDN are at work.

Im not cross, but I will be if the portaloo leaks slurry outside my kitchen door. It just seems so WEIRD.

We've not lived here that long and in the first few weeks we ended up taking parcels in a few times for NDN and they were so worried about bothering us they brought us a thank you card and a bottle of Rioja. Also, the fact that Mr NDN knocked to tell us they were spraying the garden but neglected to mention the portaloo is just weird.

OP posts:
tobermoryisthebestwomble · 17/04/2026 22:46

HectorPlasm · 17/04/2026 22:34

Just push it over

That's a glasto core memory right there 😂

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 17/04/2026 22:41

It has to be moved.

I agree with @stichguru : they should be using your neighbours' loo.

Bunnybackinherwarren · 17/04/2026 22:39

Ask them if they are paying cash or are you to invoice them for renting that piece of your land to home the loo..
It it needs be moved tomorrow.. Not Monday. Or next week. Tomorrow.. Or padlock it shut. They can use ndn toilet.

stichguru · 17/04/2026 22:39

A) get it moved
B) why on earth would your neighbours not let the builders use the house loo? Literally the only time I've see portaloos on residential building sites is when the house or estate has not yet been built or has been torched.

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