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AIBU?

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AIBU, Is my neighbour a CF?

161 replies

tobermoryisthebestwomble · 17/04/2026 21:28

Earlier this week my NDN knocked on our door to advise he was having some landscaping work done, and the workers would be spraying the garden with weedkiller. We have a cat that sometimes goes in the garden so he was letting us know so we could keep cat indoors.

I came home from work today to find a portaloo with the landscapers name on, on my land right up against my house. We are detached and have a strip of lawn between our houses then I have some paving (basically a path that goes nowhere) and a fence with no gate, as our access is at other side. The portaloo is sited on my side, and gives easy access to their gate so the workers can get in and out.

I'm rather bemused, if I was going to contract a company who were bringing their own loo:
A) I would find somewhere on my own plot to put it
B) if a) was not possible I would approach my neighbours and ask them very nicely if I could put a loo on their land

AIBU to expect that people don't put toilets on other people's land? Are my neighbours CF?

OP posts:
ClairDeLaLune · 18/04/2026 06:58

ShakyBake · 17/04/2026 21:53

This exact scenario happened to an old neighbour of ours (on the other side with number 48) and ended in a disaster. Basically, a decision was made that the builders would only do numbers 1's and no number 2's but the roofer took his blowtouch in and accidentally set it alight and it burnt down and now they don't speak at all

Also, what does CF mean?

😂😂 Is it relevant though that they were at number 48? Or that they had a no poo rule?

ClairDeLaLune · 18/04/2026 06:56

Caniweartheseones · 17/04/2026 23:10

I always read CF as Crumpet Fucker after an America university friend who was bullied about his Americanness called his English bullies “tea sipping crumpet fuckers”.

🤣🤣 Crumpet Fucker!!!

MerryUmberHedgehog · 18/04/2026 06:19

Its only temporary but Id still say something.

ElenOfTheWays · 18/04/2026 05:28

Legoleopard · 17/04/2026 22:00

I thought it stood for CF - C*NT FACE

Glad that's been explained!

Yes they are being a cf!

Forevermore I will now read CF as cunt face 😂

rwalker · 18/04/2026 05:17

if you bothered about the smell moving it a couple of feet on to there land will make zero difference
from your diagram it not obviously land as presume there’s no fence for them to be able to put it there
they sound good neighbours I wouldn’t bother

roshi42 · 18/04/2026 04:47

I think they must think that bit of path is theirs due to the fact that your don’t have a gate and it adjoins their driveway. That’s the bigger issue. The confusion over the landownership. Have to say something.

estrogone · 18/04/2026 03:55

DaisyDooley · 18/04/2026 01:02

Oh that is wonderful!
I’ve just woken my whole house up when l burst out laughing at ‘cunt face’.
CF will never be the same again!
love it 😻

Made my day (Australia) Grin

RawBloomers · 18/04/2026 02:52

Twinkletoesandspaghettios · 18/04/2026 00:18

With this extra info, if I was handling the situation I would go over (very apologetically) and say “so sorry to disturb you, I am guessing you were unaware the landscapers had put their portaloo in our garden. When you get a second would you mind asking them to move it off our garden please?”

be really nice. They have been extra appreciative of you taking a parcel in for them it is likely they haven’t noticed or just haven’t thought about it.

souring an otherwise positive NDN realtionship isn’t worth going over all guns blazing

I think this is the right basic approach but would go with something closer to - please ensure they move it as soon as they are back on site.

Friendlygingercat · 18/04/2026 02:31

When the workmen were remodelling my kitchen they used the downstairs loo.

Tell next door to remove it or there will be a charge of £100 per day. By failure to remove they will have agred with your charges.

I always find that when money enters the picture a cf will backtrack. If they drag up the old chestnut about "Im your neighbour" tell them you are a businesswoman so lets leave that neighbour business on one side. If you want to strike a deal there has to be something in it for both of us otherwise you will be getting a bill.

PollyBell · 18/04/2026 02:25

Wouldn't have been quicker to just ask them to move ir off your land?

Tamtim · 18/04/2026 02:05

Yuck. Phone the company and tell them to move it and if they don’t, put a lock on it.

ItstoolateformeDaveyourselves · 18/04/2026 02:00

tipsyraven · 17/04/2026 21:41

I’d ask them to move it.

It is this simple, I'd ask them to move it. Who needs a loo they haven't asked for on their property,?

AllTheChaos · 18/04/2026 01:34

“Crumpet fucking cunt face” - I am dying laughing here and my sweary lexicon has definitely been enhanced 😂

BeanQuisine · 18/04/2026 01:26

Put a lock on it it and a sign saying:

OUT OF ORDER THIS SIDE OF BORDER
MOVE IT BACK, YOU KNOW YOU OUGHTA

DaisyDooley · 18/04/2026 01:02

Legoleopard · 17/04/2026 22:00

I thought it stood for CF - C*NT FACE

Glad that's been explained!

Yes they are being a cf!

Oh that is wonderful!
I’ve just woken my whole house up when l burst out laughing at ‘cunt face’.
CF will never be the same again!
love it 😻

Seelybee · 18/04/2026 01:01

@tobermoryisthebestwomble portaloo on your land and workers coming onto your land to use it without your permission is trespass.

Flannelfeet · 18/04/2026 00:23

Maybe they are using the filled up portaloo as the weedkiller? 🤔 🤣

ToastSoldiers · 18/04/2026 00:22

Hannaseed · 17/04/2026 23:14

Just tell them to move it. No need for a 2 thread drama about it.

If the thread is unnecessary by your standards, then
your comment is too.

estrogone · 18/04/2026 00:21

Twinkletoesandspaghettios · 18/04/2026 00:18

With this extra info, if I was handling the situation I would go over (very apologetically) and say “so sorry to disturb you, I am guessing you were unaware the landscapers had put their portaloo in our garden. When you get a second would you mind asking them to move it off our garden please?”

be really nice. They have been extra appreciative of you taking a parcel in for them it is likely they haven’t noticed or just haven’t thought about it.

souring an otherwise positive NDN realtionship isn’t worth going over all guns blazing

Agree with this. Be nice but dont let it slide

Twinkletoesandspaghettios · 18/04/2026 00:18

tobermoryisthebestwomble · 17/04/2026 22:51

This is a new build development, they have three loos in the house, and there's only two of them! Guessing they wanted the landscapers to be able to work on their garden whilst NDN are at work.

Im not cross, but I will be if the portaloo leaks slurry outside my kitchen door. It just seems so WEIRD.

We've not lived here that long and in the first few weeks we ended up taking parcels in a few times for NDN and they were so worried about bothering us they brought us a thank you card and a bottle of Rioja. Also, the fact that Mr NDN knocked to tell us they were spraying the garden but neglected to mention the portaloo is just weird.

With this extra info, if I was handling the situation I would go over (very apologetically) and say “so sorry to disturb you, I am guessing you were unaware the landscapers had put their portaloo in our garden. When you get a second would you mind asking them to move it off our garden please?”

be really nice. They have been extra appreciative of you taking a parcel in for them it is likely they haven’t noticed or just haven’t thought about it.

souring an otherwise positive NDN realtionship isn’t worth going over all guns blazing

OnTheBoardwalk · 18/04/2026 00:10

sunflowerdaisies · 17/04/2026 23:59

I pressed tbe wrong button and voted unreasonable but of course you aren’t being!!

You can change your vote by pressing the other button.

sunflowerdaisies · 17/04/2026 23:59

I pressed tbe wrong button and voted unreasonable but of course you aren’t being!!

estrogone · 17/04/2026 23:51

This is mad. 1000000000% CF.

They erected a shitter on your property. Read that back. They put a toilet in your garden against your house.

Definitely a time for humaning-up. Advocate for yourself. There is not a neighbour in the world who would be surprised when you tell them it needs moving.

Oxo01 · 17/04/2026 23:44

If im looking at the picture right
Yes they have done that on purpose as you say to leave easy access to NDN.
Tell them to move it off of yours and place it sideways on their own bit and they will have to squeeze past when going in/ out .

WiddlinDiddlin · 17/04/2026 23:40

Most likely that the neighbours didn't realise the contractors put it in the wrong place until they got home, long after contractors left. Just knock on when you can and ask that it be moved asap. No need to get super aggy about it!

My builders put the skip in the wrong place, and I didn't know as I can't get out of the house so couldn't see where it was, soon as I found out i had them shift it to the place they were meant to put it.

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