Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I looked after a friend's dog and cat as a favour and on return they have given me money

143 replies

Dameputtingonabraveface · 17/04/2026 20:33

Just this really. A newish friend has a quite needy rescue dog (does not cope with doggy day care, kennels or walks, needs booking into a dog park). As a result, she and her husband do not really go away together unless a close family member can have the dog. They recently all went away as a family and I agreed to stay and spent lots of time visiting in the weeks leading up so dog in question knew me.

I stayed at their house for 2 weeks, went to work in the day (dog used to this, and I went back for lunch as office just 10 mins away). Before work I would go back to mine to feed and spend time with my cats (I foster and also have adopted too many) and do the same on the way home. I went home for a couple of hours about 3 times to spend some time with them and also spent a bit of time at the weekends.

My friend came home last night and when I took the keys back today, they gave me a Thank You card with £200 in! This just seems too much and makes me feel quite awkward. When I messaged them this, they told me they appreciated that I 'looked after their babies' but I was just helping out as a friend! We both just work in the public sector and she is on a lower grade than me (although has a husband so dual income).

It feels weird accepting this and I wondered what other people think?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Enrichetta · 21/04/2026 07:00

Yes, do accept gracefully - or she might be reluctant to ask you again.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 20/04/2026 19:20

Accept graciously, OP. I had an anxious rescue and having someone you trust who can be there is such a great help. You did them a huge favour and they are obviously very grateful. You sound like a very good friend. Treat yourself.

Original poster
Dameputtingonabraveface · 20/04/2026 19:11

Thanks everyone who replied. I met with my friend today, told her it was totally not expected and not necessary, I was happy to do it as a favour as she is a friend. She was insistent and said she had discussed it with family members, who all said they would do the same and she refused to take any money back.

We have agreed it is therefore also forward payment for any future care. Whilst I understand it is no where near the cost than kennels/house sitters, this was never an option.

For those who have said this was a transaction that basically put a value on our friendship, I find this very unkind and a reflection on those who posted this rather than my friend. I was happy with the few bottles of wine she bought me and a gift from their holiday, I will just treat this as a lovely windfall.

I know it is not a life changing amount by any means but I felt uncomfortable as it seemed far too much from a friend considering I was happy to do as I knew how much it helped.

OP posts:
Singlecherry · 19/04/2026 20:34

Having someone care for your pets whilst you are in holibibs is priceless, accept it and enjoy 😀

setadriftonmemorybliss · 19/04/2026 20:09

I pay for in-home boarding for my dog when I’m away and it’s £350 a week. You have saved them money and they want to show their gratitude. I think it’s nice 🙂

WorkerBee83 · 19/04/2026 20:03

They want to thank you for taking care of their babies and for the same service around my area it would cost £300 per week so you gave them a good deal x

MesonBoson · 19/04/2026 18:42

Dameputtingonabraveface · 17/04/2026 21:19

@ MesonBoson, I can assure you that is not the case. I have had some horrible times in the couple of years I have known her and she has been a lovely and supportive friend. I am lucky to have her in my life.

It's exactly what she has done.

You were happy to give her the gift of dog care but by paying you she's turned it into a transaction.

You have simply become her cheap employee.

MesonBoson · 19/04/2026 18:40

MyLimeGuide · 17/04/2026 21:07

What would you do with the money then?

Show quote history

Give it to the next 10 people who beg off me, £20 each so they could buy drugs and alcohol.

Jaybail · 19/04/2026 15:02

It cost me £225 to board my not-at-all needy dog for a week. Your friend has saved money, you have gained money as a sign of her appreciation. Sounds like a win/win situation to me. Fully appreciate that you were helping a friend but some folks don't like to have free help, it makes them feel like they are taking advantage. My neighbour regularly takes things to the tip for me, every time I send him some petrol money he says I don't want paying for helping. As far as I am concerned, I need to pay my way and his services are cheaper than hiring a skip so everyone wins.

Shinyandnew1 · 19/04/2026 11:22

How lovely of them…maybe they feel that they can ask you again if they are paying you?

DevilsKitchen · 19/04/2026 11:04

It’s extremely rude to refuse money like this. She has given it to you freely, she wants to do it. It’s for her as much as it is you. Accept it graciously.

Morepositivemum · 19/04/2026 08:31

It’s 2 weeks of dog care that would have cost them more. I’d say the relief they had was huge that it worked out so they paid it forward to you! Just enjoy!!

Catladywithacat · 19/04/2026 08:29

Just take the money and donate it if you feel bad

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 19/04/2026 08:28

They would have spent more on kennels AND been much more relaxed having your help. Our cat sitters are pretty good, but we feel bad if our cat gets the "wrong" sitter from the agency!

Missingducks · 19/04/2026 08:02

I love that you are buying animal food with this. We also take in friends' dogs for holiday cover as a favour so that we can ask them to have our elderly girl when we go away (rarely). We were given £200 for a three week stay too which was an unexpected treat but usually it's just a bottle. We are paying £75 a day in July for someone to house and dogsit here.

TheyGrewUp · 19/04/2026 08:02

What do your respective grades have to do with it @Dameputtingonabraveface ?

You have done a huge favour. For reference my cat sitter comes in once a day for two cats and it costs £12.50 per visit and that's mates' rates. £87.50 pw.

You have given far more, and I reckon the going rate for what you have done is probably closer to £400.

Take the money, it means they feel able to ask you again. Nurture the side hussle.

Chiaseedling · 19/04/2026 07:57

Rather than cash I would’ve given vouchers or a gift. But yes you did them a massive favour which saved them loads of money.

Gardenquestion22 · 19/04/2026 07:52

i would absolutely love someone to do this with our needy dog. It’s a huge commitment so take the money and be thankful they haven’t taken the piss….

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 19/04/2026 07:37

A friendship made of lovely people. You were willing to help your friends and they showed you how much valued they appreciated your help

fleetwoodpac · 19/04/2026 07:25

I had similar when a very close colleague, someone who occasionally managed me actually (but someone I considered a friend) asked me to babysit last minute as she’d been let down. Baby was already in bed, I did nothing but read a book and listen out for baby on monitor. I was more than happy to help, wasn’t a problem at all and I let her know this.
A few days later I came home to find a card with £40 in it. I didn’t know how to feel to be honest, it felt like it had reduced our friendship to a business transaction when I was genuinely happy to just help her out.
I felt sad about it rather than happy.

iamnotalemon · 19/04/2026 07:20

Dameputtingonabraveface · 17/04/2026 22:02

@RandomMess, my boys who were foster fails that I adopted. Both born outside and absolute ferals who no body wanted. Our big black panther grew to be weigh 15lbs and is the biggest softie and our little stripey boy (who took months to tame, the vets had never seen anxiety like it when we managed to trap him for neuter) who adores his big friend.

Sooooo cute!!!

TheBigFatMermaid · 19/04/2026 07:13

As the owner of a VERY needy dog, who I know would not cope in kennels, she is just extremely grateful you looked after her dog so well.
I'm going to a family wedding soon and am paying the best part of £100 for 2 dogs to be looked after in someone's home for just one night!
I know you didn't ask for or expect the payment but from her perspective, it's the least she could do.

vincettenoir · 19/04/2026 07:06

I would accept it gracefully but also make it clear that you would happily do it again for a duty free Toblerone if it means they can get away more frequently (if this is the case (it’s my understanding it is)).

Sleepyheads123 · 19/04/2026 07:03

A professional house/ dog sitter would have cost them far more than this so accept their thank you gift!

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 19/04/2026 03:42

It might seen a lot of money but l bet it is a lot less than the cost of a dog hotel.

Thank them, take the money and enjoy yourself. You derserve it.