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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel upset after seeing school mums out together?

83 replies

Advice943 · 17/04/2026 20:20

Went for dinner early evening with husband and kids and when we got there the school mums were just leaving with their kids, there were 5 kids and their mums and a few fathers. These kids are who my eldest is very close with and plays with on a regular basis. I know the typical mumsnet response will be “well it was 5 of the kids not the entire class!”. But it still upset me. They are all so close and I’m never included in the plans. I have tried to get friendly with them since reception but I never seem able to. It upsets me that my child is also excluded.

in all honesty I’m very lonely, I don’t have a good relationship with DH and even at the restaurant he had laptop with him whilst I saw groups of women together laughing and chatting and other families also doing the same. I tried to talk to him about it and was met with angry stares and complete silence. I’m really lonely and watching the end of the mums and dads on the class get together were everyone was smiling and so in the moment left me feeling really down.

OP posts:
catpupjoy · 17/04/2026 20:30

That must have really hurt - I feel for you. Are there other mums you could start to get friendly with, maybe ask round for coffee, suggest going somewhere fun with the kids? Good luck - someone will be lucky to have you as a friend, and it will grow from there

KerryPippin · 17/04/2026 20:30

They might know each other for years. You've tried making friends with them and it hasn't worked out.

Try elsewhere...what things do you like doing?

Find groups that do it and at least have good company when doing your hobbies and hopefully some will grow into friendship. If not, just enjoy the groups and the company there.

ThatFairy · 17/04/2026 20:27

That's a shame I'm sorry. Do you work ? Have hobbies you go to ? I never really got in with the school mum's either but to be honest I preferred it that way. I've been feeling lonely lately too. My son is 18 and has a very active social life and stays over with his partner quite a lot of the time.

I lost touch with my old friends years ago, and I'm out of work currently due to some health issues. I think we have to really get out in the world to make new friends. I'm planning on going back to work in a few months and I hope to make some new friends that way.

I think temping even just at the weekends for example is good cause everyone there is new a lot of the time. Or volunteering in group settings. I would also like to meet someone this year as Im starting to feel ready to date again. It could be your relationship has run its course ? And you would be happier and more fulfilled with someone new

ThatGladTiger · 17/04/2026 20:27

You were in a restaurant having dinner for 2 and he was on his laptop? That’s quite sad 😞

Campbellcarrotsoup · 17/04/2026 20:26

Im sorry you're feeling so lonely and that sounds like being confronted by all your loneliness all at once.
Do you have any nice friends or potential friends around?

Velvetandleather · 17/04/2026 20:24

I think you need to focus on fixing or ending your marriage and you can also try to make friends by doing different activities,

you know you’re not entitled to join these people, they can’t invite everyone and they don’t really know you.

your upset is as you want to have friends and do stuff. So join groups. Is there any women’s groups near you, social, walking, reading, games, you need to put yourself out there,

Pugglywuggly · 17/04/2026 20:23

Sounds like the kids are friends, but you're not actually friends with the mums? This sounds more like a mum get together than a playdate (because who would take five kids out for a meal as a primary activity choice?!) so if you're not close then I don't think you can expect to be included. You also haven't been left out though, because they are just a group of friends hanging out.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 17/04/2026 20:23

Can you try to make friends with others? They might just be genuinely friends for a number of years. It’s hard to break into groups like that (and there’s nothing wrong that they are friends)