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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In a country where savings don’t seem to matter….

116 replies

Unap100 · 17/04/2026 16:04

Do you really blame anyone for squandering their retirement fund and expecting the government to pick up the tab?

I’ve been an avid saver. I am not hugely wealthy but through my savings I’ve recently paid my house off of 450k and I’m 39. I have 34k in the bank.

But to what end?

YES of course there are benefits personally and NO I don’t want to be on the bones of my arse with no choices in life.

But seriously… I’ve worked in care homes etc and why the hell should one person have that funded and the next person have worked all their life to fund it? You might get a slightly nicer care home for a bit but they’re all underfunded and barely satisfactory anyway.

Genuinely, where’s the fairness in that? Where’s the incentive to work? It then either goes to a care home or taxed away.

I never thought I’d say this but spending it all while you can doesn’t seem a bad idea. AIBU? What’s your view on this?!

OP posts:
Forthesteps · 18/04/2026 15:19

Unap100 · 17/04/2026 16:04

Do you really blame anyone for squandering their retirement fund and expecting the government to pick up the tab?

I’ve been an avid saver. I am not hugely wealthy but through my savings I’ve recently paid my house off of 450k and I’m 39. I have 34k in the bank.

But to what end?

YES of course there are benefits personally and NO I don’t want to be on the bones of my arse with no choices in life.

But seriously… I’ve worked in care homes etc and why the hell should one person have that funded and the next person have worked all their life to fund it? You might get a slightly nicer care home for a bit but they’re all underfunded and barely satisfactory anyway.

Genuinely, where’s the fairness in that? Where’s the incentive to work? It then either goes to a care home or taxed away.

I never thought I’d say this but spending it all while you can doesn’t seem a bad idea. AIBU? What’s your view on this?!

Of course savings matter. Your entire assumption and basis for argument is flawed.
Currently living off mine until pension age...

Maray1967 · 18/04/2026 15:12

Blahblahblahabla · 18/04/2026 10:09

That’s a lot of money in the house and no flexibility. I see us getting into your situation and I don’t like it.

I asked on Reddit personal finance and it was referred to as akin to fur coat no knickers. They actually suggested I remortgage to release funds to redistribute to my pension, and ISAs in an investment portfolio.

There’s no way I would do that.

If you’ve paid off your mortgage and need to focus on your pension then do that as aggressively as you can, or downsize and move the spare money, but I would not take out another mortgage. The security of owning the bricks and mortar is too important.

Error404FucksNotFound · 18/04/2026 14:42

JeannetteBlue · 18/04/2026 14:06

make sure someone knows where those sovereigns are, or at the very least that they exist and the rough location, otherwise they could very easily be lost when you die.

Thats just what we need criminals thinking - older people are gathering huge amounts of silver and gold that nobody knows about.
Can't imagine that resulting in anything fucking terrifying.

DefiantRabbit9 · 18/04/2026 14:24

You are not being unreasonable and no it's not fair. That's the thing though life's not fair.

It's not fair my boomer parents could get jobs for life, have grants pay for their education, afford to raise a family of 4 on one salary, buy a house on that one salary and have 400K sitting in a pension fund they haven't even touched.

Yet here we are. There's nothing anyone's going to do about it because forward thinking doesn't buy votes. If there's one good thing it's that with so many millennials and gen z not having children because sadly children are now a luxury gen alpha & gen beta may be able to right that wrong.

JeannetteBlue · 18/04/2026 14:06

Biker47 · 18/04/2026 11:16

Planning on not needing care, either by; the MP's and House of Lord's joining the 21st century and allowing me to die peacefully on my terms with a needle, or if they don't, needs be by swallowing a bottle of nice rum then the barrel of one of my shotguns.

In the interim time between then, I will spend the time when I retire, removing money from my private pension in the most tax efficient way possible, and either blow it enjoying it myself, or spend on my children/grandchildren or ultimately hide it as best I can. I already currently have about £70k worth of silver and gold Britannias/Sovereigns, that exist nowhere on paper, the council will certainly never know about them, which if I haven't cashed it in before my death, will never pay for care fee's and will go straight to my children.

make sure someone knows where those sovereigns are, or at the very least that they exist and the rough location, otherwise they could very easily be lost when you die.

BarbiesDreamHome · 18/04/2026 12:26

HoppityBun · 18/04/2026 11:21

How many times does someone not go to the pub in order to be able to afford to buy a house? Perhaps the price of avocado toast should be added into that. And all those holidays that people take when they could be earnestly saving.

Why the stereotyped example of the pub? Have you seen how much women spend on make-up, toiletries and perfume? And coffee?? tattoos???

There are definitely some people who can both go to the pub as well as buy an house and there are definitely some people who can do neither. This sort of false equivalence is so harmful and destructive. Not everyone who is in the pub is a wastrel.

Sensitive much? Happy for you to swap to any of those examples if it makes you happy.

Spaghettea · 18/04/2026 11:53

You've worked in care homes and have paid off a 450k mortgage at 39?.....

Ginmonkeyagain · 18/04/2026 11:36

Exacrly that.

My grandad needed care at the end of his life as he had a disabling stroke at 90 (ironically it would have killed a less healthy man but he lived a further 5 years).

He owned some land that he hoped to pass on to his children , but most of it was sold to pay for his care. We are not bitter. He got good care at a time in his life he needed extra help and we are happy he had the funds to choose where to go

Whosthetabbynow · 18/04/2026 11:31

popcornandpotatoes · 18/04/2026 11:21

My incentive to work is holidays, nice house, paying for dd's hobbies and activities, going out for meals, going to a nice gym. Nothing to do with whether I'll have to be in a care home or not. My mum died in her mid 60s, I could very well not make it that far. .
Second thread of this nature in as many weeks that I've read. Are people really suggesting it's better to be poor all your life, have no ambition or motivation, get benefits, never own property or give your kids opportunities, just so you get cheaper care home placement in the small eventuality you end up in one.

I don’t know how people can live their one and only lives full of bitter and envy at who might get the best care home. My mum also died in her 60s. I’m approaching the age she was. No one in our family has ever been in a care home. No one has a crystal ball. Just enjoy every minute you have. I don’t understand how to live any other way

Ginmonkeyagain · 18/04/2026 11:29

Choice and independence that is what money will buy you. And that is worth a huge amount.

As the baby boom generation move in to inform old age over the next 20 years there is going to be huge strain on social care funds and the NHS and I wouldn't bet on many people needing publically funded care getting that much.

Whosthetabbynow · 18/04/2026 11:27

@HoppityBun Precisely. Not much has changed has it x

BunnyLake · 18/04/2026 11:26

Spend your money then. Have nice holidays, do your house up, eat out. There’s plenty you can do to legitimately reduce your savings.

popcornandpotatoes · 18/04/2026 11:21

My incentive to work is holidays, nice house, paying for dd's hobbies and activities, going out for meals, going to a nice gym. Nothing to do with whether I'll have to be in a care home or not. My mum died in her mid 60s, I could very well not make it that far. .
Second thread of this nature in as many weeks that I've read. Are people really suggesting it's better to be poor all your life, have no ambition or motivation, get benefits, never own property or give your kids opportunities, just so you get cheaper care home placement in the small eventuality you end up in one.

HoppityBun · 18/04/2026 11:21

BarbiesDreamHome · 18/04/2026 11:13

It should be possible to pass down assets like housing as the money has been taxed once. So what if you bought a house instead of going to the pub.

Why should I pay for my care when other people don't have to? We don't allow euthanasia so there is no choice.

We never tell cancer patients that they have to pay for their treatment, so why the elderly? Noone chooses old age. The Government won't let us opt out so they should pay for it.

How many times does someone not go to the pub in order to be able to afford to buy a house? Perhaps the price of avocado toast should be added into that. And all those holidays that people take when they could be earnestly saving.

Why the stereotyped example of the pub? Have you seen how much women spend on make-up, toiletries and perfume? And coffee?? tattoos???

There are definitely some people who can both go to the pub as well as buy an house and there are definitely some people who can do neither. This sort of false equivalence is so harmful and destructive. Not everyone who is in the pub is a wastrel.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 18/04/2026 11:20

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 18/04/2026 09:24

I do think at this point, we do need to look at these threads where the OP starts with a post that’s about a contentious political issue and then doesn’t return to their thread- as not being in good faith.

im not sure if they are are trying to influence the debate or trying to get a feel for the uk political mood of real people - but they aren’t genuine.

The sheer number on care home costs recently where the OP disappears after first post is making me suspicious.

But if you are genuine OP, it is idiotic to spend all your money so 68-80+ is really hard for you (spoiler alert - benefits aren’t all that generous), just so you can game the system on the off chance you are in the minority who need residential care for more than 2 years in old age.

But yes, well done, you’ve sown the seed to a group of 30/40-somethings that they’ll end up having the state taking all their money and other people will get the same for free.

Indeed! There was a 1000 post thread in this exact subject last weekend

if the OP is really that interested they'll be more than happy to read it all

Biker47 · 18/04/2026 11:16

Planning on not needing care, either by; the MP's and House of Lord's joining the 21st century and allowing me to die peacefully on my terms with a needle, or if they don't, needs be by swallowing a bottle of nice rum then the barrel of one of my shotguns.

In the interim time between then, I will spend the time when I retire, removing money from my private pension in the most tax efficient way possible, and either blow it enjoying it myself, or spend on my children/grandchildren or ultimately hide it as best I can. I already currently have about £70k worth of silver and gold Britannias/Sovereigns, that exist nowhere on paper, the council will certainly never know about them, which if I haven't cashed it in before my death, will never pay for care fee's and will go straight to my children.

Tensetickle · 18/04/2026 11:14

BarbiesDreamHome · 18/04/2026 11:13

It should be possible to pass down assets like housing as the money has been taxed once. So what if you bought a house instead of going to the pub.

Why should I pay for my care when other people don't have to? We don't allow euthanasia so there is no choice.

We never tell cancer patients that they have to pay for their treatment, so why the elderly? Noone chooses old age. The Government won't let us opt out so they should pay for it.

I plan to just stop taking my medication if I get to the point I need to go into a care home and pay for my care - I don't want a long drawn out old age in an institution

BarbiesDreamHome · 18/04/2026 11:13

It should be possible to pass down assets like housing as the money has been taxed once. So what if you bought a house instead of going to the pub.

Why should I pay for my care when other people don't have to? We don't allow euthanasia so there is no choice.

We never tell cancer patients that they have to pay for their treatment, so why the elderly? Noone chooses old age. The Government won't let us opt out so they should pay for it.

Bunnyofhope · 18/04/2026 11:09

Isekaied · 17/04/2026 16:51

I see elderly people struggling in their own home because they don't want to pay for care/ or will struggle financially once they pay for it.

While others get the same care for free.

The system is broken.

Yes this absolutely.

Tensetickle · 18/04/2026 11:02

@Unap100 hopefully you have taken a balanced approach and not avoided living life just in order to build up savings?

We overpay the mortgage and save but we also make sure we travel and enjoy life with the children too

I do know a couple of people who focus on accumulating savings at the expense of enjoying life at all now and I think that is really sad. None of us know how many years we have on this earth.

HoppityBun · 18/04/2026 10:58

Whosthetabbynow · 18/04/2026 09:59

No that’s right. Perhaps we could bring back the Poor Houses. Can you not see what you sound like?

“At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge,” said the the gentleman, taking up a pen, “it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.”

“Are there no prisons?” asked Scrooge.

“Plenty of prisons,” said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.

“And the Union workhouses?” demanded Scrooge. “Are they still in operation?”

”They are. Still,” returned the gentleman, “I wish I could say they were not.”

“The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?” said Scrooge.

“Both very busy, sir.”

“Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course,” said Scrooge. “I’m very glad to hear it.”

“Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude,” returned the gentleman, “a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for?”

”Nothing!” Scrooge replied.

”You wish to be anonymous?”

“I wish to be left alone,” said Scrooge. “Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don’t make merry myself at Christmas and I can’t afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned: they cost enough: and those who are badly off must go there.”

“Many can’t go there; and many would rather die.”

“If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”

Glowingup · 18/04/2026 10:22

YABU to say “I’m not hugely wealthy” yet you’ve amassed nearly 500k at 39. Or do you mean your mortgage free house is now worth 450k rather than that you paid off 450k? Because many people at 39 wouldn’t have even earned 500k net in their entire working life, let alone been able to amass it in savings.
I save. I earn 3500 net a month but my outgoings are so high that I can’t put aside more than 500 a month and I realise that compared to many, I am very privileged indeed.

Error404FucksNotFound · 18/04/2026 10:11

Whosthetabbynow · 18/04/2026 09:59

No that’s right. Perhaps we could bring back the Poor Houses. Can you not see what you sound like?

Scary thing is, they are probably going to get their wish. Things are bad and they are only going to get worse.

Blahblahblahabla · 18/04/2026 10:09

That’s a lot of money in the house and no flexibility. I see us getting into your situation and I don’t like it.

I asked on Reddit personal finance and it was referred to as akin to fur coat no knickers. They actually suggested I remortgage to release funds to redistribute to my pension, and ISAs in an investment portfolio.

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