To be enraged at my DH’s WFH laziness

Not unreasonable. You've been picking up the slack whilst he snoozes and giving work from home a bad name. Having said that, I don't think it's normal to need the extra 2 hours of sleep in the day. Is he not sleeping well at night? Got other health issues, or maybe even depressed? If your body is telling you you need a couple hours sleep in the middle of the day, surely there is something else going on? Maybe being lazy and being tired are too different things? Just room for thought.

Are you not worried about why a relatively young man is having to nap for two hours a day? Is he not sleeping at night? Not normal behaviour ( and certainly not indicative of council workers up and down the country who are generally overworked and underpaid.

Thank you! I work in an LA too. I WFH a lot of the week. I log in by 10am and often work till 10pm. I don't earn big money - quite similar to OPs husband. I don't claim overtime for all those extra hours, but I care! So do most of the amazing people I work with... yet we are often tarred with that same brush simply because we work for a public body.

If pur jobs get done and one us can get away with a 2 hour nap why would the other be bothered

If he is not doing his job fine deal with that but this 2 hour nap how could he do that to me he has to do what I have decided is plain weird

Exactly. But all the usual tropes are being sneeringly trotted out.

ONE of them. As a LA social worker I regularly worked 50 hour weeks for no extra, answered emails and did visits out of hours etc eetc Because I cared about the folk I worked with.
But hey, let's just assume all public servant are lazy arses. Saves actually thinking 🤔

You are a complete mug and he knows it.

He is a selfish waster.
For you to come in after that long a day and have to turn around and make dinner and he is napping for two hours means he couldn't give a damn about you.

This is your life if you want to accept it.
I wouldn't want to be married to such a loser, but only you know how much bullshit you are prepared to accept.

What right do you have to police his working hours. Just because you have a higher wage doesn't give you authority over his working day.
Perhaps the nap makes him more productive (I also work better with a lunchtime nap). If his employers have an issue its up to them to pull him up.

Domestic chores are an aside and are not to be done in working hours (including lunch break). Let's face it, if he was in the office instead of home, he wouldn't be doing chores nap or no nap.

Talk to the Spaniards about needing a nap in the day 😂

it’s quite normal for some cultures. Dh’s family are all nappers, an hour in the day is fairly normal for them. One dc prefers to have a quick nap after school, and do homework later at night.

having said that his hours need to allow for that. If he’s flexi they may do. But that also means he still has to do his share of the household chores.

The point of working from home is not so you can do your chores!!!! It is little surprise that stats show companies are reversing their WFH policies when people are openly screwing over their employers by spending time taking a nap and doing the housework.

Also, I'd be calling a doctor if I needed a nap during the day (unless I was 8 months or 80).

I think he needs to see the GP.

I think you are conflating two things here OP.

My experience of LA workers at your DH pay level is they work their hours and that’s it generally. If you are compressed with a commute, the long days mean that he may well start early and finish as necessary, so a two hour break may be entirely with the agreement of his employer. Core hours typically allow for a two hour break anyway. So that may not be a work issue.

Separately, you are concerned about the split of home duties. Fine. Discuss this with him with a view to a fairer split. I don’t think you can be so controlling of his working days though to require him to do chores at the time of your choosing. Once they are split better with agreement, it’s on him to decide how he discharges them.

Read the post, he’s local not central government

But if they are still getting everything that needs doing done, is there a problem? Surely the issue is whether the role needs to actually exist (or at least be a full-time role) if everything can be done in much smaller amount of time.

You’re not annoyed he is having a nap.
Youre annoyed he is not doing 50%+ of the household work.
YANBU!!!!!!!

A friend works for local government like this man. They know if you're not working, key strokes, mouse activity, phone usage.

It's a cushy number he's got going there.

Inadequate middle managers more like

Maybe he needs that nap to get through the day.

So contracted hours, thanks.

I think we still have a fair way to go in reaching equality though. A lot of women who never went back to full time work once the kids were grown have much more than an extra hour to themselves each day.

I'd not begrudge my partner a cheeky nap just because I was unable to.

If he’s getting his job done, why is this a problem for you?

Not the person you are replying too but all my roles so far have been about fulfilling hours over 5 days rather then set log on times. You do need to meet your objectives and your general day to day work bread and butter.

I’d check there’s no health issue?? Bizarre for an adult to have 2 hours of extra sleep each day and still be able to sleep at night. Really bizarre.

second all the other comments (aside from the weird unrelated feminism one)

in my government role though there is software that detects this.

It would raise alarms immediately, as would a 2 hour period of inactivity that is not logged.

it would be immediate dismissal for misconduct if anyone was found to be using these devices.

That doesn't always work, as we have technology that susses that out.
Our systems also have audit trails that tell exactly what moves you've made; so of you're consistently unproductive, you will be found out.