To be enraged at my DH’s WFH laziness

Sleeping when you should be working is a form of theft. From your employer.
He should not be asleep for two hours during the day and think it is okay whilst WFH. If he has medical problems he should get them attended to.
It is why WFH gets stopped. Because people cannot be trusted to be actually working.
He is risking problems at work. He doesn’t know they aren’t monitoring him already. And that, you should be cross about.
Work can be boring but you do need to have the self discipline to apply yourself to the task. If you want to continue to be employed that is.
If there is some underlying reason he needs to share it with you and get support.

Some people are not suited to WFH. Some are. To WFH successfully you do need self discipline. You do need to be able to manage yourself. And get the job done without being ‘managed’. It may be your husband is not suited to WFH.

Why don’t you leave him a list of things that you need taken care of ?

He needs to pick up a larger share of the household jobs if he's wfh AND doesn't have a full workload.

You need to be very clear in your communication. I bet you're good at talking to people with regard to your employment but not at speaking to your employers about what you need, including a lot more money and breaks. You deserve breaks. You deserve respect. Money is respect. Ask for it.

I suspect your overwork in the house and lack of breaks at your job and the laissez-faire of your husband is due to your less than stellar communication skills.

What is it that you want from him? I am reading the jealousy and completely understanding why you are jealous, but I don't understand what you want him to do. Here's the important part: if I don't get it, neither does he. Thick as a brick club here, you have to spell it out in small words for me. He seems to be the same.

I am not making a joke, you need to learn to improve your communication skills so you can ask for and receive what you want or need. Find a communications class and learn how to say what you want/need. Learn to be heard. If they can hear you they can probably see you.

If you learned how to communicate more effectively it would change your world and everything in it.

i thought exactly the same. Is the posted JR-M on yet another rant to get civil servant back in the office needlessly to prop up local businesses?

You can never ever get things 100 equal 100 percent of time

Why don’t you just get a cleaner ? Why so many people’s fighting over chores yet many of them waste loads on crap and spend all weekends cleaning

Agreed. And while we were on the topic, when I was much younger I worked in a private firm and I remember many of the men would arse about for half the day looking at cars online etc then call their wives and say they had to stay late to get their work done. I actually prefer working in an office and being around people but I hate the growth of the myth that everyone in offices is working hard

Working time isn't for chores IMO. I'd be mightily pissed off if I worked like a trojan to get my work completed efficiently and free up an hour, only for my partner to tell me I need to do some housework.

The chores should be shared outside of work hours.

Nobody seems to have mentioned the fact that OP is earning almost £20k more than her husband. That's a pretty serious perk. More than half his salary.

If her husband would rather earn significantly less but have an extra hour's free time every day I think that's a fair trade off. A lot of people would probs rather have an extra £20k than an hour.

OP are you coming back to comment on why you and your husband have such an unequal division of labour in your house such as you cooking all the dinners despite working longer hours/being in the house far less? Or was this thread just to stir up animosity against WFH/ local government staff?

If you’re actually looking for solutions start with at least telling your husband he needs to do far more in terms of things like cooking dinners.

Yep and they are often underpaid apart from maybe the ones at the very top earning big bucks .

Oh come off it of course you can unload and load the dishwasher and hang up the washing. You can do that in the time you would have chatted to colleagues at work. I empty my dishwasher while the kettle boils

But thats not explaining why you do most of the housework?

Why are you putting up with this?

Agreed. I don't know anyone in my team who doesn't do a stack of unpaid overtime. None of us just work our contracted hours and regularly when I email at evenings or weekends others are working too.
And thats with working effectively and efficiently and doing lots of prioritising. Which means less important things inevitably don't get progressed but some people I guess see those things not moving and think that means we aren't working

Taking regular 2 hour naps seems worrying. I think I’d be more annoyed if it was playing computer games.

I’m beginning to wonder if this is just another ‘slag off public sector workers’ thread. OP hasn’t engaged much, just lit the taper and gone.

I too,work 12 hour days. In fact my Soulbury contract with the LA states ‘and as many hours as the service demands’ - so no overtime, no refusing.
Often, in my large LA meeting/visits to schools are a two hour drive, in my own time, for a meeting at 8.45.( and of course the same distance home). No funding to stay overnight, mileage only paid from my registered office so much less than the money I spend on fuel, car maintenance etc.

Expectation is of meetings at night, OFSTED feedback sessions, governing board meetings, leading training.
As I said upthread, a laptop set centrally by the LA to show ‘away’ after three minutes.

But let’s just trot out the rubbish about all LA staff.

I would run a little calculation- free time you have vs free time partner has. Time caring for a child on Wednesday is not ‘free’ time either. It is childcare. Don’t forget to add in his extra hr sleeping in the day too. I think you will be shocked. You need to move to a place of equal free time which I suspect will mean him picking up a hell of a lot. Unless you really need the
money, I’d be tempted to go down to a four-day normal week rather than compressed hours. That is really hard to carry on over a long period. Also, can he not also do compressed hrs to free up another day from nursery fees? Why should you be the only one working flat out? I’d be making some changes here. Yet another man on mumsnet happy to see his partner worked to the bone for his easy life.

What, while I’m asleep?

" It isn’t normal for an adult (unless they have a condition of course) to need a two hour nap each day."

I think it can just be a habit if he sleeps less at night.
There are whole countries that do it (or at least used to).

CF indeed, but I would actually be genuinely worried about my DH’s health if he was doing this. It isn’t normal for an adult (unless they have a condition of course) to need a two hour nap each day. Get him to contact the GP.

Lucky him. I work full time from home and barely get a lunch break, let alone time to prep dinner and clean my house etc.

I wouldn’t really care about the nap from a work perspective, I’m not his manager. I also don’t really subscribe to the view that every spare second needs to be spent on housework etc. However he should be meeting you halfway on chores as a default. That’s what you need to be talking about.

When you say 'it waits for the weekend' re housework do you mean you BOTH do the housework together on weekends or you do it all on the weekend?

Why does he need to nap for 2 hours a day? Has he got a health condition that makes him exceptionally tired?

It's just lazy sloppy thinking.

I know so many ferociously hard working public sector staff . Many who are very talented and very much work in local government because it's a vocation