To be enraged at my DH’s WFH laziness

Horrible to read these comments on public sector workers! Me and my colleagues work our arses off in a really stressful role and often work at night or weekends to get reports completed. If it was a nap now and then and he then worked on I don’t see the issue but if it’s all the time that’s different! Also people even in the office don’t usually work constantly, they chat etc, I get more done at home

My DH works from home, he has to
move his Computer mouse every 15 mins before the system clocks him out! He’s only allowed a 30mins lunch break, clocking in/out. He’s taking the P1$$ out of his employers and you xx

Almost all local authority jobs are flexitime though, sometimes I take two hours in the day to do something else. I know people that attend classes, go to the gym, have hair appointments etc… but as long as we get our hours done between 7am - 8pm it doesn’t matter. It’s the whole reason I work for a local authority and not in private practice so that work fits around my family life.

I work from home too (58k vs him 70k if that matters) I do all the school runs, parents evenings, appointments, assemblies, sports days, dropping off to classes etc. during my working day which sometimes means I have to catch up at night. I do the food shopping and the majority of the cooking, all of the laundry and 75% of the housework. He washes up, puts the bins out and we will occasionally do a big blitz together on the weekend. Your husband is being lazy and at very least should be preparing a meal instead of a 2 hour nap.

There’s some very odd views of local government work on this thread. As someone who works on one of the teams in the housing dept for our local council I can assure you that not only my team but every team in that dept works very hard and is certainly not tossing it off all the time like some of these comments claim!
We also work flexi time so as long as we cover our minimum weekly work hours (37.5) and within our daily allowed working times of 7:30-18:30 then that’s fine.
I also work from home some days and as I work from my kitchen and my headset lead is long enough I can often be found answering a call and dealing with a query whilst folding my washing, doing my pots or prepping tea.
This isn’t a LG worker or WFH issue, it’s a DH issue!

Im the breadwinner in our house and I work forvthe local authority. I WFH but I graft my ass off. I wouldn't have time for a nap let alone a 2 hour sleep. I often work through my lunch too.
Not only do I agree your husband is being lazy, but I also think he is taking the absolute piss out of his employer but also the public who actually pay his wage.
He shouldn't need babysitting but his boss should be making sure he is working. People like him give those who WFH a bad name. Id actually lose some respect for him it that was my husband.

Your husband is defrauding the government ie public money.

i think this is dreadful.

he should go to the GP and have his health checked if he needs a 2 hour na a day

This sounds like you're saying you suffer with your work so he should too. Which is pretty selfish.
Why don't you compromise by giving him one/some of your after work jobs to lighten the load on you and make your life a bit less stressful?

“weaponised incompetence” is a real thing and sounds like it. There is a book called Fair Play and has deck of cards for fair distribution of work. Wish I had that and would have left my husband long before and not the right man to have kids with. I was the breadwinner and default parent and everything else.

Your husband is robbing his employers if he is claiming for 10 hours a week that he is not working.
The second issue is division of labour between the pair of you. I suggest you draw up a list of all the household tasks then sit down together to split them up so you are each putting in similar hours. However, if he opts for shopping, that should include the mental labour of working out what needs buying, not just a list you have drawn up.

I work in the public sector, massively under occupied as are my entire team. I am convinced this is why wfh is so popular in the public sector

of course, no one being in the office also limits your ability to make connections and create work/ projects so it’s self perpetuating.

I know posters will come on and say how busy they are in the public sector, but my team claim that too and they just aren’t.

A colleague of DHs did close up part of their factory for a shutdown but didn't know they had locked in two cleaners who were asleep on some shelves. So it's all sectors who take naps, including in the workplace!

20 minutes out of my day when for the other four days I haven't had a lunch break and work more than my contracted hours isn't lazy. It was either that or take some more beta-blockers for stress. I don't have the kind of job that gives me two hours a day free, I barely have 30 minutes a day at the moment. I have a friend (who I admit I do judge) who used to use one of her wfh days to look after her toddler. But she is in the private sector so no one on mumsnet seems to think that's a problem for some reason.

If ot were me and he WFH and it is relaxed enough for him to take a daily 2 hour nap I would make dinner (with DH doing all the veg prep and washing up) and that would be it, all other household chores would be DH's responsibility.

AND that we have tooooo… large a Government workforce and HUGE cost savings could be made by sacking many lazy f**kers!

Yes, that’s right. All public sector workers do this. 🙄

Always one and here you are.

That was my first thought too. Why does he need a nap? I have chronic pain and I can’t physically sit at my desk for 8 hours a day - I have to lie down occasionally between meetings. My work know and understand - I’m deadline and results focussed so as long as I’m getting done what I need to do, they’re cool with how I get through the working day. But people can be arseholes when they see you lying down. One more point - it took me a long time to notice that I was in pain all the time. When it’s something you deal with constantly, it just makes you tired and a bit irritable and it makes everything harder. Check in with him please and find out why he needs this rest period.

This!

Looks like @Plydrm you’ve reached this agreement, or at least dinners, (I think he can also do other bits too), and quite rightly!

(Should really have been arranged this way when you organised your working pattern, but things can easily slip into an unhelpful pattern).

Hope it works better for you now. His cooking may improve with practice!

You have completely misunderstood what I wrote

Wow. Talking about blaming the op for her dh’s lack of discipline. She wouldn’t have to communicate better if he stepped up in the first place.

Op though, have just read your update about your child who doesn’t sleep well bc of medical issues. And that you are both woken up by them in the night two to three times. And that you cope better with this than your dh.

Sorry but surely this info should have been included in your opening post because this is the central issue, not your dh’s laziness.

You are going to burn out and become unwell if you continue to work and do housework on so little sleep.

Is there any way that you and your dh can alternate nights or catch up with sleep on alternate days at weekends?. Can you both alternate going to bed at 8 pm at night?
Are you entitled to any support in terms of funding or manpower that you aren’t claiming? Will the night wakings improve as your child gets older? If not, you need to put other measures in place if at all possible as it’s not realistic to expect both of you to carry on working and running the house as normal as though this lack of sleep isn’t happening?

Well I honestly think it’s wrong to dictate or even suggest that no one should be doing chores during the working day when wfh.

If you are disciplined abut it, you can put a load of washing on overnight plus dw for the morning like most people do, and tidy and wipe down kitchen and make beds before work.

But I can also fit in cleaning one element of the bathroom every morning and walking the dog when ordinarily I would be commuting. So by the weekend the bathroom doesn’t need a massive in depth clean and we have more time in evenings.

Then another load of washing on when you start work which you unload four hours later at lunch time and hang out to dry or td.

Also at lunch time, having done a weekly meal plan on a Sunday, I prep dinner eg marinade chicken and peel potatoes or chop up veg for a tray bake or make a sauce for pasta, or put some fish en papillote with veg, so that making dinner is very efficient at 6.30/7 pm. The prep literally takes 30 mins and makes all of the difference. I take the dog out at lunch time again too for another quick short 15 or 20 min walk.

On Tues and Fridays I nip to the supermarket at lunch time instead of the above.

Start work again at 2 pm having put on another load of washing which I dry again four hours later. By then I have done eight hours of focused work for the day and quite a bit of house work and walked the dog twice. Once work is over, I take the dog out for a third last longer walk to unwind and think about the day’s work and priorities for the next day. Then I come home, shove the pre-prepped dinner in the oven while having ten minutes closing down my computer, tidying my desk and making a brief work plan for the next day by which point everyone else is home.

It’s good for you and very efficient to move your body and alternative between two four-hour sets of focused work, interspersed by disciplined focused house work. I also make myself a cup of coffee at 11 am and a cup of tea at 4 pm but don’t dawdle over it. You have to stick to your time blocks though just as you would in the office. It’s also about planning ahead and getting in to an efficient routine that becomes automatic. All I have left to do in the evening is fold that day’s laundry in front of telly and tidy up the kitchen and put another load of washing in to come on very early in the morning when it all starts again.

None of this is particularly difficult or testing in any way. You just need to keep your eye on the clock and be organised,

Sorry but who has time for a two-hour nap during the working day? That’s nuts! What time does your dh go to bed op? He needs to go to bed two hours earlier obviously! His behaviour is really selfish.

His lazy arse, not doing his fare share of cleaning and her being the higher earner is your idea of feminism is it?

Are you for real? The point about wfh is to reduce the wasted time commuting not in taking the piss by not working!

I largely wfh and I wouldn't dream of doing anything unless I'm on a lunchbreakand I often miss those cos I'm too busy.

I loathe laziness it's a pathetic behaviour.

You will need to explain that. Two people doing jobs sounds pretty normal. Or should he be out of tge house 14 hours a day while they try and live on his wage?