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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be enraged at my DH’s WFH laziness

263 replies

Plydrm · 17/04/2026 15:33

I work in a very high pressure job and am the breadwinner (£55k) and DH works in a local government job at £36k and is based at home but does do the odd field visit.

I work from the office or ‘out and about’ most days but have the very odd day WFH.

I have compressed my working week and have a Wednesday off with our preschooler. This means the other weekdays I’m working long hours, plus a commute.

For the last 6 months or so I’ve noticed that if I message DH around lunch time I don’t hear from him until at least 3pm. I assumed he was busy dealing with meetings or out seeing clients.

I was WFH yesterday and was absolutely enraged to discover that he actually has a 2 hour nap every day (whilst on the clock).

Im frustrated by this for a number of reasons, including the fact that I don’t stop at work and rarely get a lunch break or any downtime at work. I also need to get dinner ready after work every night after being out the house 6am-5.30pm. He does do the odd laundry and keeps on top of the kitchen but other than this the housework waits until the weekend.

AIBU for being annoyed by this?

OP posts:
DreamyScroller · 17/04/2026 16:02

I guess we have feminism to 'thank' for this bizarre setup.

ArtemisNutella · 17/04/2026 16:02

Ok, first, you are not the breadwinner. You are both earning a good salary, both of you are breadwinners here.
Second, WFH is still working. No one should be doing chores during their working day regardless of being out or home. So doing the housework at the weekend, both of you sharing, is fine.
Third, you are preparing dinner when you get home, what is he doing then? Is he watching the child? If so, fine. Why not suggest the two of you alternate meal prep?
Fourth, presuming he gets a one-hour lunch break the he’s actually only having a one-hour nap on the clock. Yes, that’s wrong.

Aside from him sleeping an hour of work time, you just seem annoyed that you have a more stressful job than he does. But that’s not his fault.

Parsleyforme · 17/04/2026 16:01

Yes I would be annoyed that he has a 2 hour nap (so 10 hours a week free?) but he leaves chores until the weekend and leaves dinner to you even though you’re out for almost 12 hours. To be honest I’m a bit jealous that he has such a relaxed WFH job. Hope he at least appreciates it because no one else is getting paid to nap! Have you spoken to him about the napping and what did he say?

Silverwombat · 17/04/2026 16:00

Agree that is pretty shocking but also can't help wondering if he's ok? Obviously you know your DH but is this characteristic for him, how long has he been doing it, is this a sign that he's struggling with physical / mental health? He might just be being shockingly lazy but could also be that he's struggling for some reason.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 17/04/2026 15:59

YANBU about the split of the housework.

YABU to be more annoyed just because you work flat out and don’t get a break. That’s not relevant. If you were able to take a lunch break every day it would still be unreasonable of him to do this while leaving all housework to you.

SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack · 17/04/2026 15:59

God I hope his work clock on and sack him. Of course he won’t do chores if he can’t even be arsed to do his job.

Nurseposter123 · 17/04/2026 15:54

This is absolutely awful.

Sorry but a two hour nap knowing you do a full days work then get home and prep dinner....he could be doing that? Or any other number or chores.

He could do all that weekend cleaning...yet he leaves it. Selfish man. I'd really kick off here. Me and my husband both WFH and apart from 20 mins at lunch we both run around doing chores and errands at any spare moment.

Also on a separate note he's taking the piss out of his job.

MzHz · 17/04/2026 15:52

If you work from home, of course you do the odd chore! Otherwise what’s the point?

tell him you want dinner on the table, you want washing loads done at the very least. It’s not on to be so fucking lazy

Original poster
Plydrm · 17/04/2026 15:50

I feel it ruins WFH for everyone!

He does put the dishwasher on and does the odd run around with the hoover but the main things like cleaning bathrooms, mopping floors etc wait until the weekend.

OP posts:
NellieJean · 17/04/2026 15:47

I’m not shocked I tell you not shocked.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 17/04/2026 15:44

Why on earth are you doing all the household chores? If he's at home before you, he gets the dinner on. He can also put the washing machine and dishwasher on. He's pulled a fast one on you OP.

SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack · 17/04/2026 15:40

No wonder the goverment are struggling for money when their workers are being lazy bastards and sleeping on the job! Wtf!

Blarn · 17/04/2026 15:38

I had a nap wfh today as I have been sleeping badly. But I did it on my lunch break. If he is got that little to do during the day he should be picking up stiff around the house. Or even better, asking his manager for more work. This is exactly why some people hate wfh and think that everyone who does it is lazy.