To be enraged at my DH’s WFH laziness

I assure you not everyone WFH is like this!!!!!!!!

I DO take an hour for lunch as I am not paid for my lunch break and quite frankly need fresh air ,daylight and movement.

He needs to do more around the house eg the main part of dinner , some washing up/washing to ease your load. The job appears to allow this!

FWIW, it is down to YOU to ensure you have a lunch break though !

Yep. And can I add that there have and always will be time wasters. Maybe it’s having multiple half hour coffee or fag breaks and chatting to all and sundry in the office. Maybe it’s looking at the news all day in the office etc. WFH is not solely responsible for people being less productive.

And btw maybe he is someone who has certain tasks to finish and as long as he gets them done before they log off and attends all meetings, they don’t care how long he naps for.

Why isn't your DH doing at least half the housework & childcare?

He sounds like a lazy arse. Just stop doing more than half of anything and see if he notices, or even steps up.

WFH shouldn’t be about chores beyond say, sticking the dishwasher or washing machine on while you’re sorting lunch or whatever, and certainly not for two hour naps unless he starts early and has a long lunch, but if one person has long hours and a commute, the other person should at least be prepping dinner when they finish.

No chance he's working for local gov. Great pension great sick pay no requirement to work

Presume if you are gone from 6am he is doing mornings and nursery drop offs with your pre-schooler and that will continue when they start school?
Does he also do pick ups before you get back or are you running in the door with a child that needs feeding?

I'd take a pretty dim view too but there's a point where it can simply be construed as jealousy that he has such a cushy time of it. Frankly I'd be more concerned that his productivity is rubbish and he'll be out of a job as soon as you can say AI. Government are digitising the hell out of everything and with council consolidations and redundancies/outsourcing coming he should be making himself an indispensable part of the team, not an invisible sloth.

So much wrong here but singling out this

I also need to get dinner ready after work every night after being out the house 6am-5.30pm.

Just why? I can't honestly believe there is anyone in the UK under the age of 90 who still thinks getting dinner is something you can't do if you have a Y chromosome. DH is 68, we have been married nearly 40 years, he has always pulled his weight in the kitchen. He would occasionally ask advice if he was attempting something he had never tried to do before, but he has never, ever assumed I was the default cook. Since retiring he has even tried his hand at baking from time to time. Oh and household chores are always split. I tend to clean the kitchen more often but he usually cleans the bathrooms.

And that 90 I mentioned. Recently deceased FIL was 95 and cooking for himself and late MIL after she got dementia.

This would piss me off no end too. I work for myself so if I take a break it's my money I'm losing. And I'm often working at nights, weekends etc. But if you're paid a salary, you should be working.

Ultimately it's his boss' job to do something about it but he won't end up getting promoted any time soon with that attitude and that's where it impacts you.

Urgh this kind of stuff annoys me so much because it ruins flexibility for others. What a twat.

Please say thanks to your husband for wasting my hard-earned tax money. Ffs.

why do some collegues chat at the office wasting x mins or hours ?

Um... nothing to do with cuts in central government grants? Or a significant increase in the number and cost of very elderly people needing social care?

No, it's one bloke who is (maybe) taking a long lunch.

Have you considered educating yourself?

Why are all these (presumably) relatively young people taking regular naps during the day?

I work from home, I've usually washed up breakfast dishes and put on and hung out the washing by 8am so that I can start work at 8am. Some days I eat breakfast whilst looking at emails like this morning as I went shopping before work (still back and laptop on at 8am). Occasionally I'll have to run outside to bring the washing in when it inevitably starts raining.

I don't do household chores at all during the day, lunchtime is walk/gym and some food. I treat it like a working day in the office.

Working from home should not be about doing household chores, it really pisses me off when people talk about it like that.

Now I think I understand why council tax has increased so sharply in recent years.

If you have a problem with feminism or working women, then Mumsnet is definitely not the place for you. Please take yourself away to Reddit or somewhere else.

as if! My DP wfh and I find all the washing done, dried and put away, hoovering is done, washing up put away, sides dusted. I don’t wfh so I’m out full time. I never have to do any of the cleaning unless I tell him to leave it and I’ll do it because I feel guilty he does so much while on work time. He gets all his tasks done at the start of the week so there’s time to do all this. I get so jealous as I’m out of the house with fuck all to do in the office. He definitely should not be sleeping, OP. that’s taking the piss.

Thinking about it, do you know what time he starts work OP? You’re out from 6am so I guess not? It’s just that at my work place, we are explicitly allowed to take a long lunch provided we make up the time, and aren’t cancelling meetings to do it. I could fairly easily start an hour earlier and be on lunch 12-2 most days. This wouldn’t be an issue at all.

ETA - I still agree that you making dinner every night is unfair. And that would be true even if he wasn’t napping.

You've guessed wrong then, cupcake.

I guess you don’t know what feminism is.

He's one lazy sod. If he's got a spare hour to nap and take the piss on work time, he should be using that to prep dinner, do other chores and take the pressure off

I have to admit that I am not a 'napper' (I literally can't), but I find a two HOUR nap during the day sounds excessive? Has he had his iron levels checked and everything else - because it sounds odd to me that an adult would feel the need for a two hour sleep during the day.

But that might just be because I don't understand 'nap culture'.

What do you mean, what’s the point? You think the point of WFH is doing housework in company time?

Housework / childcare rather than commuting time, sure. Housework on your lunch hour I guess, although when I worked from home I rarely took one.

I’m not purist about it - 10 minutes pegging out the washing is no different to 10 minutes gossiping with a colleague in the staff kitchen. But as the OP says, if you take the piss You ruin it for everyone

If you commute and he doesn’t why on earth are you responsible for dinner? I just don’t understand why women still act like 1950s housewives when they work full time. Put your foot down woman!

Stop cooking dinner. Full stop. Today. If you have kids, make something easy for them. He can figure out his own damn food.

Putting on the dishwasher? It's the press of a button. Come on...

Working from home still means working. I may run the dishwasher or load the washing machine while making a cup of tea though.

But the 2 hours commute are definitely used for chores.

I also take a nap, for a while it was regularly every day, but that's my lunchbreak.