Entitled spider in my kitchen

I literally just found this meme when scrolling through my photos for something else….feels appropriate to leave it here… 😂

My Dad found a massive hairy one once in the kitchen sink so opened the kitchen window and threw it out. A bird literally swooped down from no where and took it away! It was amazing.

I read a funny Tweet yesterday about spiders, and a woman said that she had named the enormous spider in her bedroom Cotton Eyed Joe.

Cos - where did you come from?
Where did you go?

All spiders in my house are called 'Webster'.

I think my username says everything that’s required about the eight-legged little fuckers.

If anyone is interested in more humane ways to deter spiders, use mint. Either mint essential oil or mint based deterrant products. This is not harming anyhing, is pet safe but the spiders don't like the smell and don't go near it. Wipe your doors, window ledges with it and spray it in corners of the rooms. I did it at the start and it worked but now I gave up the fight as they don't bother me. No matter how big and hairy they are, I pick them up (yes with bare hands) and drop them out the window. I am not afraid of them and I never was bit by one as far as I remember.
Edited for typos

We call the one who lives on our washing line Boris.

The spindle skinny cellar spiders (I think that's what they're called) can catch and eat the big chunky house spiders.
Was on holiday a few years ago in a lovely rural cottage in Wales and saw it happen.

We lived in north devon where the false black widow was prevalent in our house, round shiny brown or black body and legs shorter than house spider, (markings on its back aren't always noticeable ) Moved recently and was horrified to find one in a gap in the window frame down here in the south. They bite.. squash them, they aren't native to the uk although with global warming ???????

Zero -in spider repellent, its brilliant. I hate spiders and use this. It stops them entering your home. It doesn't damage anything. Spray it around door ways , windows, anywhere, where they can get in...it smells of peppermint. There are plenty of repellents on the market, and they are all good...

YABU ..... he's already in the glass ready for you to tip him out of the window. He's provided his own transport out of there after housesitting all night. Poor spidey........ 😃

YABU was he's already in the glass ready for you to tip him out of the window. He's provided his own transport out of there after housesitting all night. Poor spidey........ 😃

They seem to be everywhere at the moment. We’ve just been away for a week and came back to find a massive spider had colonised a large teddy my son had left in his room on the floor. It was covered in thick sticky web and the spider was proudly guarding his new home. He was huge, but we’ve seen quite a few since we got back, including one living under a pocket flap of a pair of my trousers 🫣

For spiders, the females are generally bigger and dominant, so it is unlikely it was a male..

I hate them, but my son loves them and cries when I kill them...

So now they go outside to live in the trees.. and thankfully he is too young to have learned that putting indoor spiders outside results in them dying..

That said, the spiders we have here (not UK) are generally a lot smaller. We mostly get these little tiny jumping ones. They are only probably about half the size of a 5p coin... But they can spring about and jump from thing to thing, which can make them hard to catch.

If you are a reader, try "children of time" - it's a novel where a civilization of spiders grows on an empty planet... Actually really helped me become less fearful and hateful of them.

we had one on the kitchen window for months, sad when he left.

Your thread title has made me laugh, op. My mum has an entitled crow in her garden that she was telling me about recently. 😂

I know spiders are helpful, and I never kill them (my 9yo dd removes them for me) but I think I'd rather have an entitled crow.

If you let the cellar spiders stay, you don't get the big ones as they keep them away! (There's videos on YouTube of cellar spiders attacking house spiders!)

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Xx1rZN8FeJg

You're welcome!

I love this. I wish I had a pet gecko. I actually live somewhere where they live so maybe one day one will appear behind my fridge..

I've got one of those spider catcher things. Will link. It's brilliant and means you can safely put them outside while keeping them well away from you and not hurting them.

NIFTII Spider Catcher with Long Handle Tool Humane Indoor Outdoor Spider Catchers for Home & Garden. DIY.com

All spiders are entitled little wossnames.

If it was a house spider, then most likely female, the males don't really make home-base webs, once they're mature enough to dare to show their faces in public they are hunting for ladies and just hunt for food as they go. Ladies however make a nice home web somewhere convenient (for them, not you) and live there permanently if you don't disturb them.

Female spiders typically have a big butt (bigger when full or when ready to lay eggs) and no 'boxing gloves' on their pedipalps (short front 'feelers'). Males have skinny butts and boxing gloves on and are typically smaller than females (though some may have smaller bodies but a longer leg span).

As far as house spiders are concerned though they live in our houses all year round. The females stay put, the males lurk around avoiding getting eaten, and at the end of summer the urge hits them and they go wandering looking for a good time (to the point of not eating or drinking, getting into fights with other spiders and potentially getting murdered by Mrs Right), which is when we see them more frequently and in more surprising places.

Hoover him! If I’m home alone they get the hoover but if husband is here he will catch them but I make him walk across the road to release it!

I know! And the tank must have been all there and inviting from its POV.

This

Reminds me of the meme:

What if the spider you killed in your home had spent his entire life thinking you were his room mate?

You ever think about that?

No. You only think about yourself.