Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have called time on my marriage. A family of two halves.

335 replies

GeorgeClarkefan · 16/04/2026 15:18

I have called time on my marriage.

I love my husband who is a genuinely nice guy but it’s all the extraneous stuff that gets in the way. It’s his daughter, my daughter and our daughter and never the twain shall meet.

My eldest does not see her father or his family which is no fault of mine. I never expected my new in-laws to step up and they haven’t. They are always kind, and always polite.

My stepdaughter and younger daughter have many advantages which we simply cannot afford for my elder daughter. She doesn’t understand and gets upset.

I posted about the Disney debacle where it emerged that my MiL feels she can’t act normally around her grandchildren if my daughter is there.

Latest spat has come about because of an extracurricular paid for by MiL.

My husband has said that that is it and he is insulted and won’t beg me. He has walked out.

I am going to potentially lose some time with my youngest but I can’t go on like this.

My mother cannot look me in the face she is so angry.

OP posts:
Rainbowdottie · 16/04/2026 15:33

I don’t know really what’s happened other than your DD is not having the same treatment that her sister and step sister get and this is down to the grandparents (your ILs)

this is sad. I have grandchildren with no experience of step grandchildren but children are children, it’s cruel to treat them differently.

My brother in law (husbands brother) met a woman who had a child from a previous relationship. They’ve now been married must be 25 years and went onto to have 3 more kids of their own. We treated her DD as we would any other child in the family. My mil and fil were doting grandparents, that included that little girl too, as far as I’m aware. I’ll be honest and say I’m not sure if my ILs would have paid for extra curriculur activities etc as she was very much doted on by her paternal side of the family, so that would have been taken care of anyway I think…but certainly she had the same presents, money gifted, pocket money, days out etc as all the other grandchildren.

are you sure you’re marriage is over? Has this just been written in the moment of what’s going on? Would the grandparents be devasted to think the marriage is splitting up over it? You absolutely should and need to put your DD first but is there anyway to sort this out? Would it be better to say no to all the kids and tell mil to keep her money rather than split up over it?

Original poster
GeorgeClarkefan · 16/04/2026 15:32

My MiL started to pay for a hobby during Easter, a hobby my eldest would love. It’s a hobby that my husband’s sisters had and in which a niece excels. This hobby is now continuing and MiL is paying.

My husband treats my daughter the same as our youngest but MiL doesn’t and he feels he has his hands tied.

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 16/04/2026 15:31

GeorgeClarkefan · 16/04/2026 15:28

OriginalSkang

I don’t know what happened but I have had enough. It’s a straw that broke the camel’s back scenario. I can’t have one child doing stuff, meeting other kids as a result, being invited to things when the other child does just one afterschool club.

I have just had enough.

My stepdaughter doesn’t live with us.

My MiL is actively getting rid of money but husband isn’t getting any just his sisters.

J have to protect my peace.

So your MIL pays for things for your youngest? It's not unreasonable that she doesn't pay for your eldest.

You and your DH need to fork up the money, or tell MIL "Thanks but no thanks, we can't afford it".

I'm struggling to see why you'd end a marriage over this?

BMW6 · 16/04/2026 15:31

Sadly the realities of many blended families.
I can see both sides, it's just very sad.

Original poster
GeorgeClarkefan · 16/04/2026 15:28

OriginalSkang

I don’t know what happened but I have had enough. It’s a straw that broke the camel’s back scenario. I can’t have one child doing stuff, meeting other kids as a result, being invited to things when the other child does just one afterschool club.

I have just had enough.

My stepdaughter doesn’t live with us.

My MiL is actively getting rid of money but husband isn’t getting any just his sisters.

J have to protect my peace.

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 16/04/2026 15:26

I’m sorry OP- my son has a daughter by a previous relationship and a son with current relationship- his current partner treats her step daughter who they have every weekend identically to their son as do her lovely parents and so should your H and his family - if he doesn’t and they don’t either then I would be very upset too and see why your daughter is -

Ignored124 · 16/04/2026 15:25

I feel sorry for your eldest . It should have all been equal.

BudgetBuster · 16/04/2026 15:23

GeorgeClarkefan · 16/04/2026 15:18

I have called time on my marriage.

I love my husband who is a genuinely nice guy but it’s all the extraneous stuff that gets in the way. It’s his daughter, my daughter and our daughter and never the twain shall meet.

My eldest does not see her father or his family which is no fault of mine. I never expected my new in-laws to step up and they haven’t. They are always kind, and always polite.

My stepdaughter and younger daughter have many advantages which we simply cannot afford for my elder daughter. She doesn’t understand and gets upset.

I posted about the Disney debacle where it emerged that my MiL feels she can’t act normally around her grandchildren if my daughter is there.

Latest spat has come about because of an extracurricular paid for by MiL.

My husband has said that that is it and he is insulted and won’t beg me. He has walked out.

I am going to potentially lose some time with my youngest but I can’t go on like this.

My mother cannot look me in the face she is so angry.

Why do your stepdaughter and shared daughter have many advantages over your own eldest daughter?

Sorry, it's not really clear in the post.

Are you saying you and your DH are separating because the younger 2 are doing an extra curricular paid for by your DHs parents?

OriginalSkang · 16/04/2026 15:21

It's really not clear what has happened from what you've posted?

sesquipedalian · 16/04/2026 15:21

“My stepdaughter and younger daughter have many advantages which we simply cannot afford for my elder daughter. She doesn’t understand and gets upset.”

I’m not surprised, if you all live in the same house - and I’m astonished you should think this is OK. Your elder daughter is surely going to grow up resenting her younger sister.