Or is this absolutely batshit (sex life related)

Men with this type of attitude do not live in the real world.

I do like to think I have a moderate to high drive. However, when you combine corporate 9-5, parenting, dog walks, household chores etc, sometimes I just can't be assed. Luckily my DP is the exact same.

I used to have an ex-H like this, and we eventually split. He would immediately think if we didnt have sex that night, that I was cheating or not attracted to him, pulled a lot of whining etc to try and make me feel bad so I would give in. At the end of the day, thats abuse.

I wouldnt put up with this crap anymore, and neither should you.

If he wants sex every day he should be making a conscious, serious effort to actually seduce you and make you feel good rather than making back handed comments like a teenage boy!

I agree.
You couldn't have healthy self esteem and think the likes of him at 40 is all you deserve.

Never ceases to amaze that some people are so fearful of being on their own that they'll put up with this sort of thing for any length of time, or hold up other characteristics in mitigation.

'He's a lecherous, sex obsessed bore with the emotional intelligence and approach of a horny teenager...but he's good at helping around the house'.

Goodness gracious me, what are you doing with this man? End it - run and don't look back.

I disagree (and work as an editor, so am pretty familiar with the idiosyncracies of AI!). Some people just have intelligent and pithy ways of posting.

Heavens Op, he's sex obsessed. He has a really unrealistic view of a normal sex life, if he has a DD I can't imagine what a pest he was to his Ex post childbirth.
Is he like this when his DD or yours is about or is it just every waking hour when you're alone?

I can tell by the style. The short, over-dramatic, grandstanding sentences, using one sentence per paragraph, the rhetorical question (‘But if they’re male…?’) which you then answer yourself in an insufferable all-knowing tone… all very typical of AI.

Just because you’re not scared of him doesn’t mean he isn’t being abusive. The pressure, the guilt tripping and constant sexual demeaning talk has already crossed the line into coercion and manipulation.

Abuse always escalates. My ex seriously assaulted me while I was asleep amongst other things. Don’t be fooled by the victim mentality. In my experience it is the hallmark of a serious abuser.

come to the crux of it today and he says ‘I feel like I should be able to ask for whatever I want and get it, I should be able to touch you within reason (and reason was if I was ill) and you should want it’

I would walk away from this man.

I was in a relationship with a bloke like this, it got very boring after a while. Everything, absolutely everything became eventually sexual. So for instance how was your day, oh a really boring day, well when you get home we can have sex, then you won't be bored. I dumped after he told me, whilst I was in the throws of a migraine, that scientific study indicated that the most effective cure for migraine was, yep, sex. The rather ironic thing was he actually wasn't that good in bed. I composed many a complex Sainsbury's shopping list whilst in his bed.

What on earth makes you think that is AI?!

it had been about 8 days and he was milking it a bit

OP I really wish you hadn't written that. The images in my head are hard to erase 🤮

Tbh, this is getting on for his longest relationship ever.

And I bet you're suddenly realising why.

Everyone else has given you really good advice but I just wanted to add that as a bollock owner, the "My balls hurt if I've not had sex" isn't a thing. It'd be a massive fucking design flaw if it was!

Every time I've heard some idiot say this down the pub "Aw my balls are killing me cause my missus isn't putting out", I laugh at them until they admit "It's just a metaphor innit". No, it's not. Its something you say in a pathetic attempt to make your girlfriend feel sorry for you so she has sex with you.

He's pathetic @Tulipsanddandelions , and he doesn't see you as a person, just as a tool to fulfil his pathetic desires.

My other half is lucky to get home to find I’ve changed out of pyjamas and into clean joggers!
Dressed up though. Absolutely not.

Good lord this man is ghastly. Does it never cross his mind that, just because HE wants something, it doesn't mean that you automatically want it too or want o facilitate it for him? Are you not allowed free will?

He's going to have you doing the housework dressed like a French maid at this rate.

PLEASE don’t write posts using AI.

I have read the full thread
You don't have children together,and you are not dependent on him financially.
So I'm confused as to why you haven't just ended the relationship
Your obviously a clever intelligent woman,why are you even entertaining trying to figure him out .
He's clearly lost the plot
Personally I'd be ending the relationship asap

Oh no OP. I read your posts and my jaw was dropping more at each post. He sounds like a bloke from the 60s with this attitude.

I also think the same as a pp.

I think he is intimidated by your position at work, the higher earner etc. And there is a power play. You may have the more powerful position at work, but he (wants to) have the more powerful position when it comes to sex.

Or, he has a bloody great chip on his shoulder.

It's already escalated now recently, so something is going on.

I would absolutely not be able to carry this relationship on. You are not there just to serve his every sexual need and empty out the sacks. Ffs.

You have the power here OP. Tell him straight - any more over sexualised 2001 teenage boy blue balls shit and he can go fuck himself, literally. You're a successful, intelligent woman who deserves more than to be viewed as and treated like a piece of meat

OP, he truly sounds awful.

Do you not feel like a piece of meat?
Because it reads that way.

He's a walking red flag.

I wouldn't want any child of mine around someone with so little respect for me, so little self control, and such a whiney man child attitude.

What is your self esteem like?
Because I cannot imagine it must be graeat that you are tolerating such a complete nag that is stuck on one subject.

It reads as really coercive, relentlessly going on at you on the same subject.

Repellent leading to repulsive is how it reads.

It doesn't read as the least bit flattering.
Mind your and have a good hard think if this is really who you want to be with.

Oh. There is this.

There has been a series of threads on here recently by another poster who is being seriously abused. The dynamic is different, the OP here sounds strong, but there are similarities -
the constant need for sex
the right to it
the effect on balls
complaining about not being found attractive
the but I find you so sexy narrative
the complaint over lack of sex due to sleep.
Sadly, to put it bluntly, this other poor woman gets assaulted in her sleep, and now raped, too. Sadly, she is so badly abused she can’t see it.
I am not in any way suggesting this man is the same, but the remark over missing out on sex when OP was asleep turned my stomach a bit. He is not taking into your needs and wishes.

This won't get better.

I'm not buying all the 'its because you earn more' crap. He's just an emotionally manipulative sex pest. You are his longest girlfriend. Doesn't take a genius to work out why his previous relationships failed, does it?

Sorry OP, just end it. I'm surprised you can still bring yourself to have sex with him. I'd have lost all respect for him by now.

Yeah sounds like he's chasing that "honeymoon" stage of the relationship over and over, where everything is new and shiny

I’d also suggest very kindly that hyperssexuality can be a symptom of some serious diseases and perhaps he should see his GP.

Id carry on suggesting sex whenever I felt like it but balls - blue or otherwise - to pandering to any of this nonsense. It does sound like porn tbh, or just possibly sexting some random off a hook-up site (I speak from experience here).