Or is this absolutely batshit (sex life related)

@Beachtastic Yeah, I write and edit for a living, and I don't think that was AI either.

I'm going to second this OP. You are just a hole to him, a means to an end.

He is sexually and emotionally abusing you right now so you aren't as strong as you think. Be very, very careful if you decide to stay with him.

Yes, and the fact that he's mentioned feeling 'angry' feels like an escalation to me. To me, that screams "If you don't have sex with me, I can't be responsible for my actions" which is the reddest of red flags.

Instant vomit. Utterly grim.

For the love of God tell him to literally go fuck himself, it's sexual harassment at this point. He sees you as nothing more than a sex doll, a receptacle for his shudder cum.

It's controlling because he's using it to emotionally manipulate you and gaslight you and because he is suggesting that he should be able to dictate when you have sex and what you do with him when you do, regardless of whether you want it or not. He's doing this when you're at work, ffs - he's using sex to demand your attention constantly and then he accuses you of not fancying him any more when you don't want it. He's basically using sex as a weapon to force you to constantly placate and reassure him.

Also the 'my balls are aching' thing is utter drivel. Men only experience discomfort like that if they experience very prolonged arousal (ie, arousal to the point of having an erection) without ejaculation, and the ache goes when arousal subsides. They don't get ballache just from not ejaculating every day. If his body genuinely needed to 'release' semen, he'd most likely have wet dreams.

Honestly, OP - and I'm speaking here as a woman with a really high sex drive who likes a lot of sex - this man is a total cunt.

Feeling desired is great. Having desire used a stick to beat you with is not.

Fucking hell, hes absolutely disgusting isn't he.

This is horrendous, wtf is wrong with him, thinking this is in any way acceptable behaviour.

Jesus that's just harassement .....

OP you 100% to get shot of him

Please please dump this fuckwit. You deserve so much better than this pond life.

It is controlling, and coercive.
He sees you as meat, not as a woman he feels love and respect for.

You are bending yourself out of shape trying to understand him, which is very common with women with low self esteem.

Your focus should be on yourself and asking why you have tolerated such disrespect for you and your body?

Why you thought a whiney sex pest was good enough from the beginning, when he so clearly showed you exactly who he was.

Focus on you, not him.

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk this would be a good idea.

Reading

Women who love too much. By Robin Norwood

Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft

You deserve so much better than this.

He's setting you up to fail. He can still go on at you even when there's a perfectly good reason why you can't have sex. Same as when you are in bed when he leaves for work. Later on you get shit for the 'missed opportunity'.

One example where I was set up to fail. His teenage daughter was in her room and he tried to have sex in the living room. I said no obviously, as she could wander in at any time. He threw me off the couch on to the floor. No normal man would want sex in that situation and it's not unreasonable to say no but I still got punished.

It doesn't matter what you do, how you do it and how often it happens - it will never be enough.

The reason is because it's not about sex. No normal bloke would think sex three times a week is a sexless relationship. That's bullshit. You know it. We know it and he knows it. It's not about sex.

Mine started out just like yours is at the moment.

OP you probably didn't expect to hear concerns about consent and control. You aren't afraid of him so it doesn't look like abuse. In some ways that's even more dangerous. I drifted into my situation feeling the same, until one day I noticed the prison he'd built around me.

Well, there are two ways to fix this!

(1) Invest all your spare cash into buying more and more entrancing outfits to dress in for his triumphant arrival home, and spend all your spare time shagging him

(2) Tell him to get tae fuck with his sex pest arseholery.

I know which I would choose!

I can’t see how he’s going to change. He’s keeping score and that’s not how things work.
You don’t have to provide a sex menu for him.
God help him if you were off your feet, or needed a gynae procedure. How would he cope then?
He clearly has no idea how the female mind works if he did he’d know what he’s doing is absolutely revolting.

Sounds like he needs to knuckle down with work again, often it’s bored aimless men who act like this. He needs to be more busy.

But really that would be a sticking plaster on the real issue which is the fact this is who he is. He’s revealing himself to you and revealing why none of his other relationships worked long term.

If you don’t want to leave immediately maybe get him distracted by work again, but I’d say my advice is you need to make a plan to leave..

I’d cut my losses and bin him off.

A relationship doesn’t have to be completely and unbearably awful in all respects for you to finish it.

I feel like I should be able to ask for whatever I want and get it, I should be able to touch you within reason (and reason was if I was ill) and you should want it’

No problem with asking for sex, changing things up, can we try this etc but expectation and demanding is different - that is ignoring the need for consent. Show him the 'cup of tea' cartoon which explains all this and once the need for consent is understood (as it is key to further discussion) then a more sensible discussion can be had.

It might just be a mid life crisis he is having at best but I reading Gisele Pelicot's book which just takes this situation you are in to the extreme.

Bin both of them and you and Sxchat go live together harmoniously.

WTF? Good decision ditching blue balls.

What do you do?

You find some self respect and dump this whiney sex pest.

He sounds utterly awful from the very beginning and you still think he is some prize?

So sad.

Well that’s good he finds satisfaction in his job but still yeah probably you having a higher paid job you’re also focused on plays into him feeling a bit sidelined because he’s so self-centered with low self-esteem and wants you to be completely obsessed like a teenager just to make himself feel better. From your updates it sounds like he’s generally quite manipulative and goes through life painting himself as a victim.

He clearly expects women to constantly pacify him and make him feel better which would explain the past cheating.

I remember when I did online dating there was a couple of 40+ men I met who said they were looking for the kind of love they had in their teenage years 🚩🚩 I made an immediate exit when they said that.

Because men like that will never mature or understand a deeper kind of love . This man sounds like he has that mentality.