Or is this absolutely batshit (sex life related)

I agree with this. However also his idea that he should be able to approach you for sex anytime and you should never say no is ridiculous. Get rid of him before you DO have shared kids and you're stuck.

The cure for low self esteem is therapy, women are not mental health tools

This is actually really disturbing.
I think at the very least he has got some real mental health issues.
It's like he doesn't even see you as a person anymore.

Please tell me you have a modicum of self respect and are planning on leaving him. This is disgusting behaviour, he's basically treating you like a sex doll.

OP, this is actually really sinister imo. I hope you're able to get rid. This behaviour is NOT acceptable. He's awful and I wouldn't want him around my dd either. Ugh.

Sorry op but you need to get rid of him he is a disgusting creep. His comments and messages are just unbelievable and I would not have that man around my daughters . Dump him asap how can you even look at him never mind feel desire for him he is disgusting

In your shoes OP, I would be dreading going home after work. I would dread bedtime, because quite often, I go to bed to go to sleep.
He doesnt sound like he is going to change. In fact, he sounds like he has always been this way inclined, but now he has taken the mask off, and is loud and proud about his sense of entitlement.
I wouldn't spend hours explaining how I feel to him, or trying to appeal to a rational part of him.
I would just dump him ASAP.
And if he thinks you are dumping him because you don't fancy him anymore, well who cares what he thinks?
He clearly doesn't care what you think at all.
Let him think whatever he chooses, but honestly, put him in the bin this weekend!!
The relief you will feel at not having to navigate his moods or be made to feel like shit because he wants dick attention will be immense!!

Hope you’re okay OP.

On the assumption you haven’t slept with him since, I think we all want to know: have his balls exploded yet?

What an absolute manipulative child he is. Get in the bin.

His hurting balls demonstrates he just thinks you are for cumming into. A living wank sock.
“You should want it” is something that would be said to me once.

How would you feel if your daughter wrote this when she was older? He’s a disgusting gropey horrible man, you’re questioning yourself and you shouldn’t be. Tell him to fuck right off.

If you go to a restaurant, do you both order exactly the same? If he wants a beer, do you also want a beer at the same time, or might you want a cup of tea? or nothing? Why would it be any different for sex? Also some of your desires and patterns may be related to your cycle. Why would that match his desires?

Regardless of how much he’s played the victim, this is not a man who has low self esteem. I’d say his confidence is through the roof with that last message. He seems to have no awareness his presence in your life is entirely optional.

He has mentioned more recently that he is ‘nearly 50’ he isn’t he is 42 this year

I’ve just remembered you said he’s 41 but is claiming to be nearly 50 and that he’s also banging on about running out of time / opportunities to have sex every time he sees that you’re busy. Honestly, it seems like he’s convinced himself he’s going to die prematurely from a backlog of pent up semen. And it’s all your fault because you only have sex 3-4 times a week. It’s genuinely fucking nuts.

Sex pest of the worst kind. At least you don't have kids together. Your kids will certainly be better off without this weirdo in their lives. Ick.

There's a reason he's in this 40s with only (relatively) short relationships under his belt...as I suspect you're finding out.

On another note, if a man starts talking about sex on a regular dating app, I unmatch and block.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your writing! 🤩 It's as clear and interesting as the ideas you express. Please don't change just because someone automatically assumes that short paragraphs = AI-generated content.

Short paras are ideal on social media.

Like this.

Because some people are scrolling on phones etc.

It breaks up the text a bit.

🌞

I’m so sorry Op please get this man out asap or move out - whatever. Just get him away from your and your child.

Thank you for this kind post.

I genuinely didn't write my reply using AI, I think unfortunately I just have a writing style which is a bit formal or explanatory which leads people to think this.

Might have to self-edit and jazz it up a bit to avoid the AI comparisons to come!

This is extraordinary @CaragianettE ...

What on EARTH makes you think this is written using AI?!!

I have lived experience of seeing first-hand this type of syndrome the OP's partner seems to portray.

I'm sorry that my short sentences and prepositions seem to make you think I'm a bot.

I despair at this site sometimes, I really think I'm going to head off to Flouncer's Corner where at least no one will be lurking worrying about whether I'm writing using ChatGPfuckingT or whatever.

Yes, exactly. It's incredible to me that people are incapable of comprehending that some people are, in fact, articulate and quick-thinking when it comes to expressing themselves.

And yes, @JacquesHarlow was spot on.

He sounds like a sleazy bargain basement porno.

There's something going on. He sounds obsessed and it's worse ing. He's harassing you about sex when you're trying to get into a work mindset and at work. He wants to be front and center and I think there's a possible element of attempted work sabotage going on.

I see why all his relationships ended at this point or before. He's showing you his true face and it's that of a deeply misogynistic man who doesn't see you as a person at all, but a convenient object. You're his walking fleshlight.

You have kids that are exposed to this man? He's a stone creep.

OP, sorry if I’ve missed this info earlier in the thread, but what is your housing situation?
If the home is yours I would kick him out asap.
I’m finding his escalation messages terrifying.
I just read an article that says there are 62 million men accessing a website teaching them how to drug and rape their wives.
There are masterclasses for this shit now. Porn has ruined male/female relationships because only the cock counts now!

This is not just "giving me the ick" territory, OP 💐

We may have joked about how pathetic he is, but that's beside the point.

This is a man who feels utterly entitled to use you and your body as he pleases. Nothing else matters to him. He counts on your compliance with this, in fact that's the name of the game for him - control.

So far, because you have been compliant, he has "only" been an unpleasant sex pest and shown resentment rather than anger or violence. But the minute you have tried to assert the faintest of boundaries, he's already ramped it up to thinly veiled threats.

Please be aware of how potentially dangerous someone like this can turn out to be.