Or is this absolutely batshit (sex life related)

Hi OP I hope you’re ok!

Oh my god. He’s got to be a sex addict or something. But there is no coming back from this level of ick. He is sending sexually explicit messages that you clearly don’t want.. does he not understand consent? Tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more to find out about this guy. Do not delete any messages. I genuinely don’t think you’ll be the first or last person to get messages like this (or worse). Future flasher / sex offender vibes

OP, what you're experience is the initial relief of receiving an apology, so you're feeling a little hit of euphoria from that. You're being trained into an addictive cycle. Maybe it's one that already familiar to you, from growing up or from another relationship?

Anyway, when the relief fades, and his self-justifications begin, please ask yourself where your boundaries begin and end, with a therapist if necessary - on your own and not with him.

Meanwhile please think seriously about having this awful man around your DD.

It’s because they didn’t live together from day one. OP explains in her first post that they had sex less as it happened on the days when they met up. He couldn’t ask for daily sex then. It’s only now that they live together he’s decided it is reasonable to expect it to be on tap, daily, whenever he wants. He’s somehow confused sex with the domestic water supply.

There are some other threads on here where the husband used this language and these tactics and he’s now pushed on to sexually assaulting her in her sleep.
She feels trapped and won’t/can’t leave.
OP you are at a stage when you can stop this and avoid further hurt.
He is not sorry and won’t change. He is now in the apology/denial stage of the abuse cycle and if you let him stay he will return to form.

What I can’t understand is why this behaviour after 4 years of no red flags?! If you’d only been seeing him for 6 months I’d think he is letting the mask slip and showing his true colours, but after 4 years?? Doesn’t this type of character usually start showing red flags earlyish and then keep pushing and pushing until they’ve eroded your boundaries? (Or you’ve left them!)

Those balls are going to be agony when he’s single. What a total bore. I’d have clammed shut long ago.

He thinks you’re a sex doll. Get rid of him if you value yourself.

Glad you’re okay OP 💕

It’s obvious from your messages that you are intelligent. All I would say is that we are all emotionally detached so look at the messages objectively. It’s harder when you’ve experienced love for someone and want to try to think the best of them. I just hope that he doesn’t manage to worm his way back in with a pretence of being a changed man. All that will have changed is that he simply might not risk voicing those complaints anymore if it results in him being single: it will be a veneer and his attitude to sex and women and you will be exactly the same underneath. He’s a serial cheat on top - he literally doesn’t seem able to exercise self-control about sex.

Don't ever ever trust someone whom suddenly backtracks from inappropriate behaviour.

THAT is a huge red flag in of itself.

Sudden self correction IS a red flag.
It implies he knows he has gone too far and is trying to quickly self correct.

Red flag.

Agree with this. His last message to you is very worrying. Like he can’t control himself

This is not a bit of frisky sexting to let you know you are fancied by a loving respectful partner.
Partners can do that and it can be fun.

This is full on entitled rapey pyscho stuff.
Utterly horrifying IMO.

You are a lump of meat, no more.

Protect your child.

So he can shut up about his fucking penis and balls and his crude sex talk when he thinks it might cost him his comfy living arrangements.

But that doesn't change the fact that he sees women as objects and you know exactly what he thinks because you tolerated it. You're an object to him and so are your kid or kids and that's not a safe mindset to have around your kids.

It's not like his mindset has changed one bit. He's just going to change his outside mask a bit until it slips or he feels like you won't kick him out. He's a creep and always will be.

Yes.

Apologies, I had a bit of knee-jerk reaction to your post last night, which I retracted this morning.

OP, you're talking about this as though it's a bit of fun sex that the novelty wore off. Do you recognise that he fits the profile of someone who is potentially dangerous?

Taking that risk for yourself is bad enough, but you also have a child to protect.

I’ve read all your posts OP but not the whole thread. I was getting more and more sickened by this but that last message about feeling angry and him making it your fault for not tending to his needs would see me off immediately. He’s gone way too far now. Please tell me that you can get out of this relationship and financially you’re ok on your own and you can come up with an escape plan? He absolutely disgusts me and many others on this thread it seems. Never mind that it’s frankly impossible to find a man who whines about his balls constantly attractive.

Good for you OP

I think it would also be a good idea to let a friend know you're having problems with your partner and that you'd appreciate if they were on the other end of their phone this weekend in case you need them.

I would also be doing a Clare's Law.
God knows what you might find.

I agree.
I think he sounds fxxking unhinged.
He has from the beginning IMO.

I would want him out of the house or i would be removing my child or arranging for her to stay with her father where she will be safe.

Please listen about the under reacting...

Take care, controlling men can suddenly turn very nasty.

I agree. OP, I'm glad you're OK but be very careful about making your changed intentions so clear with him. This is not "ick" territory, he is not right in the head.

Honestly OP, please go and talk to someone.
You have a child and I really think you are completely under reacting under the circumstances.

He's a complete freak and your 64 million reference is so accurate.

I wouldn't have a complete freak sex pest like him near my child.

Please wake up that your standards and tolerances are completely off.

His reaction would only confirm it.

Remember he told you, straight faced and shamelessly, that he felt he had a right to your body whenever he wanted.

So which is it? He's suddenly changed his mind? He didn't realise the words he was saying? Yeah right.

It sounds like he can suddenly say the right things now a break up is a possibility.

But he was quite happy to go on with the manipulation, pressure, gaslighting that you were the abnormal one, as long as he thought he was getting away with it and his manipulation was working.

Noone is that lacking in self awareness.

Good luck with it all, it must be exhausting