Son and his money!

I think definitely take the money and put in savings.

However, I would split it and put £50 ( roughly 10%) intto a SIPP , the sooner he starts a pension the better, and the other £150 into savings, probably a Lisa and then he’ll get the government bonus, he can contribute £4000 per year and the bonus would automatically bring it to £5000. Then a normal isa.

Would he be better with a s&s isa rather than cash, if he’s probably got 10 years before he buys?

I have 3 young men at home 18 -23 each with different savings habits and I too am trying to get all of them into the habit of saving regularly, easier with some than others. The most reluctant has recently become more engaged with the s&s isa, ‘investing’ is quite cool at the moment , just make sure it’s in ETF’s etc not individual stocks. He chose a couple with Hargreaves lands down, global funds etc.

Also, if you can get him to save 50/ week himself for holidays, gigs, festivals etc. easier for them if they have a lot to dip into for these things

good luck!
He’ll thank you one day. X

Whatever arrangement you come to be careful. He is a grown adult with no learning difficulties we have been told about. Managing someone else’s money will have all sorts of laws attached to it. Son or not.
And was he shocked by his lack of saving ? If not then he is hiding something from you.

I think the thing is, where do you draw the line.
Most people I know still living at home are doing so because it allows them to save to buy.
Not because it means they have 0 responsibilities and can p!ss their money up the wall on takeaways and nights out.
If this carries on and he reaches late twenties still no savings, not fair on OP for subbing him all that time and 0 help to him, and when & how do they say enough is enough?
Should he need to be hand held through this? No. Is it in everyone's best interests that he is? Yes.
But with fair explanation as to why. He doesn't like it, he moves out 🤷‍♀️

Perhaps save it in account under his name or he'll be taxed when you give it back to him.

How much is the water and the wifi? @Happyhorse222

A LISA will also return 25% top up from the government annually and you can put in £4k per year (deducted from main ISA allowance). A person can release as a first home deposit

You are not being unreasonable. I would tell him that you are going to use the £200/wk as forced savings. £280 a week is plenty of spare cash.

Also, I don't think you are babying him. It would be babying him if you took all his money, and gave him £20/day for lunch and bus, and £40 for the pub on Friday etc.

I agree with what you are proposing @Happyhorse222 However if you put the money in an account in your son’s name what is to stop him drawing the money out whenever he feels like it?

Was he shocked too ?

Saving for someone else. The account should be in his name? You might want to look after it. You say you are putting into your savings account. So any interest he gets is lost and caught up in yours.
How does someone spend almost £450 a week on takeaways. He eats with you. And helps out in the kitchen.

He cannot spend 2K a month as this is what he is earning. Give or take.

Why is it ridiculous? Currently he is blowing through 2k a month with nothing to show for it! He will now be paying his parents 800 a month to include rent, all bills, all food. Even the cheapest bills, rent and food for one person cost way more than that. And that will be saved for him. And he still has plenty to burn through.

I plan on similar when my DD is older. If her current urge to spend money (on anything) is anything to go by, she’ll need it. My plan is the following:

25% rent (allocated to house deposit)
25% long term savings (ISA)
25% short term savings (holidays etc)
25% to spend

As a parent this is the Best thing you could do for him and Well done for that. Though im baffled that after a year he only saved 750, sounds shockingly low ! I dont believe his reasoning behind it.

Anyhow yes make sure your husband does go through with it and ask for the money, make sure he sets up a direct debit so your paid the 200 or youl be asking him every week for it.

New idea - you charge him £x a month less the net contribution to his savings account. So if you agree on £800 and he can show you he’s put £500 net into his saving then you get £300 to cover his board. It would need a cap to stop him wanting a refund. That way he does have to have the willpower to build up his savings himself rather than mummy doing it, but he is hugely incentivised as the net “cost” to his spending money is the same. It’s quite babyish but not as bad as a secret account you will gift back later.

Is this for real? 350 for everything from someone who can save loads is very reasonable. I get 300 from each of my three and it helps pay the bills. They know they’re very well looked after for that.

@Happyhorse222 In an ideal world you would not need to step in and your son would understand how fortunate he is to have a good job and supportive parents. It looks like he needs a helping hand, I too couldn't stand aside and watch my child fritter money away. I would get him to set up a LISA (he can put in £4k per year and the government tops up with a 25% bonus). The rest I would split between a stocks and shares ISA and a cash ISA (which he could use to save for his annual tax bill). At £200 per week he will be saving over £10k a year, which is an amazing amount and a real step up when he is ready to buy a property.

He could save a huge amount by taking pack up to work,eating from snackers is a fortune easy £10 a day

What on earth are you doing taking £350 a month of him!! I sincerely hope you are putting it aside and will give it back to him?

You are bang on, OP. I also have a saver & a spender.

DS1 is 21 & final year uni. He has worked all through to support himself & has still managed to save for holidays & travel. He parties hard too, but watching the spending I'll never need to worry about him.

DS2 19 is 1st year uni (at home) has ADHD & just cannot control his spending. Money seems to trickle through his fingers. That's okay when he has a Saturday job with £80-120 a week, but we worry that he'll do the same with much bigger amounts when he's got a career, so we talk about money all the time casually- e.g. how much the energy bill is/ why I moved companies, how much food is going up, increases in insurances, me making avc to my pension, saving for the extension, price of holidays. It doesn't put pressure on him, but making him slowly aware of the costs of being an adult.

Last year ex-DH had a great idea. DS2 wanted to go inter-railing for a month. We set conditions: his flights & train pass were paid for by leftover birthday money & we made Christmas mainly money for this end. He needed to save for spending. We broke it down weekly what he needed to save from January- June. Come March that wasn't happening, so another chat ensued that he said he needed accountability, so he transferred a higher amount to me each week. We agreed if he could do this, ex-H would top it up to whatever he worked out was his budget. He did transfer every week, & researched his daily budget for inter-railing & how much top up he'd need. He stuck to it religiously & had enough come June, so the top-up was given no worries. He needed to really think about things for those 4 months- what parties/ nights out/ trips to go to or miss out. It's had an effect, as he regularly will say now ' I can't go to such and such, as I need extra funds next week for the rugby social'.

So, OP, this is a long winded way of saying that YES I'd take the £800. Over £1000 a month to himself at that age is wildly good. He should be saving some too, but see how it goes for a bit before suggesting that.

I worked with a young man like this, and have younger relatives that are the same. In each case they have ended up with a lovely, sensible GF, who is driven mad by the lads’ uselessness with money! In the case of one, he is almost 30, parents always let him get on with it and assumed he’d grow up and figure it out eventually, he and his gf have now had a baby, and he is still is blowing his money on ridiculous things like personalised golf clubs, when they need money for the wee one and to save for the baby’s future, and frankly we are all expecting her to leave him. From looking at older (male) friends and family members, some men just don’t ‘grow up’ until they are middle aged, and if parents want them to actually move out at some point then they have to give them a helping hand, either by forcing them to save, or by handing over their own money.