To think that my daughter should get the bedroom she wants?

So your DD will do that too then…which completely invalidates your argument.

Yep, higher rent for the ensuite room and coin toss if they both still want it.

One of my dd's housemates felt bizarrely entitled to the best room. It was a sign of stuff to come, unfortunately. She has been a terrible housemate and neither of the others are willing to share with her again next year.

when i did a flat share (not in UK) in a country where the price is generally given in square metres, we just worked out the rent for each depending on the size of their room at the sqm price, and all paid for the communal areas. One room was bigger, one room had a sunny balcony which was included in the sqm price (as per usual)

Encourage her to do a coin toss rather than argue over who deserves it more.

have only read the OP and at the risk of being the 94th person to say this: if they can't agree (and i would be for no boyfriends staying over anyway in the DDs shoes) then they need to look for a place that they can agree on.

Coin toss or pay more for en-suite. I can understand why your daughter wants the en-suite. I wouldn’t want to be walking from bathroom to bedroom wrapped in a towel while flatmate’s boyfriend is regularly there.

The which-room question can be easily solved. The living de facto with someone else’s bf is more of a problem. A couple in a house, even if he doesn’t officially live there, skews the dynamic and she will start to be treated second class or like a child who can’t make choices or assert preferences. Tv / gaming, shared space, quiet / noisy, meal times, heating / ventilation…. All of those things can be always they will thoughtlessly do what they want and she’ll be treated as an irritant if she disagrees

Ensuite slightly more expensive. Then coin toss and winner chooses bigger or cheaper room. Before rooms are distributed it's agreed if ensuite tenant is only to use that bathroom.

I had this at university. No en-suites, but one room was about four times the size of thr other. We swapped partway through the year to make it fair.

I think they only have two choices - flip a coin or pay more for the en-suite. I also wouldn't get involved, including expressing my opinion unless asked. If she feels the need to have the en-suite for the reasons you suggest, then she will have to instigate a discussion about it. Money often talks in these situations.

I definitely think cheaper rent for the smaller room/ no bathroom. Even with a coin toss, resentment can build. This way you can think, we'll at least I'm paying less.

Or, find a different house where rooms are now equal.

Oh definitely! I had a flatmate who's partner stayed nearly every night - even when the FM wasn't there! It caused a lot of tension.

OP is it just the 2 of them sharing? I would suggest flipping a coin, and maybe swapping rooms halfway through the year? Or after 1 year if they plan to stay for 2. They both need to feel the agreement is fair, or resentment will build.

Toss a coin for the en-suite, whoever gets it should pay a bit more.

Really common to draw lots for rooms in shared houses. Neither of them deserves the en suite more than the other.

I had this exact issue back in the 90s when we lived in Spain for our 3rd year studying abroad. The guy ended up getting the master bedroom and I still feel annoyed to this day if I think about it. Nor did he pay any extra.

No, I don't see any reason why your daughter deserves the room any more than the other girl - in fact, if the boyfriend will, as you say, be staying over, showering, etc., so shouldn't the couple get the master room? Of course the other girl needs to pay more for the privilege.

If your daughter is potentially going to get annoyed at others popping in to use the main bathroom next to the living room as you say, then maybe she needs to be living alone? It sounds minor but these things can really escalate and become very annoying when you flatshare.

One pays more for nicer bathroom

You don't explicitly say what her preference is, but if she's worried about sharing a bathroom with flatmates BF, then surely flatmate should get the ensuite so that BF is contained in the room? It makes sense to me that the bedroom that will regularly have more than one person in it gets the ensuite.

Whoever wants the en suite pays more. It’s absolutely logical it would be the couple, the added rent share would also cover for his added costs.

However it looks like there’s potential for everything to turn sour fast.

Who ever gets the bigger room and ensuite pay a higher rate. We do this with DD1.

As PPs have said, it’s time to toss a coin. However the person who gets the en-suite should probably pay a little more, assuming the rooms are otherwise similar.

Regarding the flatmate’s boyfriend: DC2 had the problem last year in a 3-bedroom and one student has their partner over 5 or 6 days week. DC2 and tbe other student got fed up of the extra costs and also just an extra person in their small flat. I would recommend that your DD discusses this in advance with her flatmate. I think the best solution is that they have equal number of days at each others places.

I agree with flipping a coin.

however, when I've seen flat shares like this before, they also agree the person with the ensuite doesn't use the general bathroom, so they effectively have a bathroom each, and visitors are also encouraged to use the bathroom of the person they are visiting. So agreeing that as an arrangement might make it seem more equal?

Personally I'd encourage them to be looking for a place that's more equal, and if that's not possible reflect the disparity in the rent. Anyone paying the same for sonething lesser even if on the basis of a coin toss, is going to feel resentful and that's not a good dynamic.
The BF shouldn't factor in room allocation. They could split up next week. However there definitely needs to be some rules and boundaries. How much he pays, which areas are private to your DD etc.

What a fuss over nothing. Let them sort it out and crack on, you just want your daughter to have an en suite and are creating a situation to make it look like it’s fairer to her. You also have no idea if a) the couple will stay together and how often the boyfriend will be there and b) whether your daughter will or won’t get a boyfriend or bring a random home on occasion. You can say she won’t but you just don’t know

Yeah, a coin toss/name out of the hat is the only fair way to do it. There are always ‘reasons’ people want the best room but mostly they aren’t valid.

Id think a couple would want privacy just as much. I agree that a higher cost for the ensuite is fair.