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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu Retiring at 55 - 30 years of idleness?

567 replies

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

OP posts:
Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 23:35

cardibach · 16/04/2026 21:43

But we weren’t talking about whether you enjoy your job - that’s great that you do. We were talking about you saying you would have no purpose without it and doing things to improve your own life would not be enough for you.

I’m not clear what my purpose would be, and at the moment I don’t feel just ‘be’ing would be satisfying, so I carry on and don’t retire. If you’ve spent your life working towards goals, I don’t think it’s particularly surprising that realising there’ll be no goal beyond the enjoyable moment is a concern.

Pherian · 16/04/2026 23:12

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

I would love to retire and just take a couple years doing nothing to decompress.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 16/04/2026 23:05

NoMoreLifts · 16/04/2026 19:02

Not sure that breeding hamsters would take much effort or time or skill. Essentially 1 male, 1 female and you're fine. No input from you required. Now, giant pandas... that would be more challenging. 😀

Always one of you who shits on all us hard-working Syrian hamster breeders 😂 But yes, laughs aside, I was in a ranting flow; I definitely should have put pandas or platypuses or pangolins - all the difficult-to-breed-in-captivity P animals.

Binsin · 16/04/2026 22:05

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 17:13

The other thing that creeps me out about retiring is how many retired people I know who have become political extremists…

Amongst my friends I notice that people who have always have strong political beliefs or been activists then to put that energy to practical use when they retire. My oldest friend has always been fierce on environmental issues and now she has time on her hands has started a local 'keep plastic out of the ocean group'. They do talks at schools, set up litter picking days etc. It's great to have time to turn that passion into something practical and local.

I do hear you though, some people just go down a Tommy Robinson rabbit hole.

DiscoBeat · 16/04/2026 22:00

Retired here for a while (55 now) and very busy! Multi generational situation with elderly parents, teenagers, older children, grandchildren, all needing support one way or another, pets, livestock and very busy shared hobby with DH so it's pretty full on. I'm definitely not bored!

MoreNewThings · 16/04/2026 21:58

NRTFT, but have to say OP, that your ideas of how to fill your days without work seem to show a remarkable lack of imagination. Gardening, walks, coffee?
Can you really envisage no more fulfilling way to spend your days? You surely have some interests beyond work that you'd like to pursue, no?

As so many PPs on this thread have shown, life can be busy and more interesting than ever when you don't have work to get in the way and spoil things.

I stopped work in my early 50s, because it's my firm belief that the modern pattern and pressures of work are not suitable for every human - we're not all well-disposed for the rat race, and I certainly wasn't.

Since stopping, on a modest work-place pension with no partner to support me, I've chosen poor but happy over the misery of work.

I'm now at state pension age but in the intervening years I've made more new friends than I did in the rest of my lifetime put together, and not all of a similar age to me, or even retirees. But they are all a diverse bunch of "interested and interesting" people. I do four sports a week, two of them just started in the last year. I have done a degree, completed several FutureLearn courses and learned four languages. I have learned to play six musical instruments, again some in just the last couple of years, I play and sing in two bands - am very excited to be playing in my first festival shortly - and I sing in two choirs. I have researched my family tree and am working on family trees for three others. I am politically active, and am secretary of a local group, running a monthly stall and organising leafletting campaigns and other activities. I don't watch TV, I can't even think of the last time I sat on my sofa. When at home, life is spent in front of my computer researching, gaming, planning, learning, writing reports etc.

I have spent more time (and money) going to the theatre or music and comedy gigs than I ever had the energy for before, and consider myself to be more culturally knowledgeable than at any stage in my past.

Healthwise I am fortunate to be doing well, but I don't take this for granted. My sister died in her forties, I am currently the same age my father was when he died, and I am well aware that a long healthy future is not guaranteed. I have lost 4 stone through hard work over the last three years - I have a waist again! In my 60s! - but though this helps, I choose to live every day as if it were my last.

I've learned a new expression on this thread - boring people are bored. This could be true, as could the reverse - bored people are boring. But life is what you make it, they say, and I'd like to think I've managed to make my life anything but boring.

You, OP?

~Damn, I just name-changed, but I 'm going to have to do it again now!

Northernlights19 · 16/04/2026 21:46

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

Have you ever done a physically active job? Such as care work for example?

TheNameWasOnceChosen · 16/04/2026 21:44

I retired aged 50. Well, ill health retired. I was a Social worker too, loved my job and it was hard to leave. A stroke was the final thing but I have epilepsy and muliple sclerosis. I'm not bored, I cruise loads and spend my life at the gym.

cardibach · 16/04/2026 21:43

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 20:51

I don’t see what’s sad about that at all. Guess I’m just not ready yet to retire from a role I really enjoy. I’ll know when I’m ready, don’t worry.

But we weren’t talking about whether you enjoy your job - that’s great that you do. We were talking about you saying you would have no purpose without it and doing things to improve your own life would not be enough for you.

Binsin · 16/04/2026 21:35

Pennyfan · 16/04/2026 11:16

That is one of the smuggest posts I’ve ever read! But even smugger are all those people desperate to tell us how busy they are since they retired-learning languages and designing gardens. Retirement is precisely that-you can do what you want. If that involves binge watching All Creatures Great and Small, it doesn’t make you a lesser person. There is so much judgement over what is the ‘right’ kind of retirement. If you’re lucky enough to be able to decide whether to work or not, just thank your lucky stars you have the choice and focus on your own life rather than what you think others should be doing.

Goodness @Pennyfan I've just realised you are talking about me being smug about languages and gardens. Ouch!

I honestly wasn't being smug at all. I was just replying to the OP saying retiring = boredom and pointing out that that is absolutely not the case. I do what I want to do but if instead of that I chose Bargain Hunt and a nice cup of tea (which I do some days) then that's a wonderful retirement and no more boring than climbing the Matterhorn. I was trying to make the point that the world is your oyster.

I just didn't like the assumption in the OP that there are only two options - work vs boredom to the grave. One person's boring is another's deep contentment.

RebeccaRedhat · 16/04/2026 21:34

I retired at 42 and bloody love it! I gym every day, take my mum shopping, get my hair done, facials, meet friends for lunch, walk my dog, keep on top of all my house work so when my husband finishes work and the kids are home from school we have a delicious healthy home cooked meal to enjoy together. I can't holiday exteavagantly as my youngest is still in primary school and older 2 are in high school doing exams for the next couple of years, but we have weekends away and holidays when we can. Whenever our aging parents have hospital/drs appointments I'm available to take them. It just works.
I don't really care if people think I'm boring or that I'll get bored. I love my life right now, and all that matters is that me and mine are happy and healthy. I've never been happier or healthier so I would say it's working out perfectly!

SleepingStandingUp · 16/04/2026 21:26

Some people thrive on being constantly busy. Some people don't. Some people can enjoy relaxing and their own company. Some people can't.

I'd be fine retiring at 55 although I currently volunteer and I'd see it as a chance to up that, study, read more etc. But not having a constantly full diary doesn't mean you must be boring

Binsin · 16/04/2026 21:23

HarrietBeat · 16/04/2026 20:43

I see the OP disappeared...

Yes, that's a real shame isn't it because this is a really interesting thread with many different views.

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 20:51

cardibach · 16/04/2026 18:14

And that’s what seems sad to me. To each her own though.

I don’t see what’s sad about that at all. Guess I’m just not ready yet to retire from a role I really enjoy. I’ll know when I’m ready, don’t worry.

HarrietBeat · 16/04/2026 20:43

I see the OP disappeared...

abracadabra1980 · 16/04/2026 20:26

I have semi retired from age 57: main reason is that by that age, I'd lost more than 5 friends and acquaintances to cancer. None made it to 60. I enjoy my job and it is possible to do it very part time, so I may do a couple of hours a week here and there and I'm planning a long European campervan trip next year, if not tied to my DM'a health issues. It's a gamble as I don't have a huge pension pot, but the flexibility has meant I can have lie ins - spend more time with Ddogs, and do up my campervan. I'm not the 'cruisey' type and paid my mortgage off decades ago, so it works for me. I'm not bothered if i'm boring and skint in my 80's - there's over 200 channels on the tele and all of YouTube to keep me amused 😊

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 16/04/2026 19:39

Jeez. I’d retire tomorrow if I could. Work is so full on I don’t have the time or energy for anything else. Which is shit! I’ve got things I want to do, places to go, people to see! I’m very lucky to have a great job but it doesn’t define me. I actually think it’s sad that some people can’t think past their job.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 16/04/2026 19:33

DH is retiring at 55 in June and myself in December, same age. Cannot wait. Tomorrow is not promised. Neither of my parents made 70.

ThatKhakiLurker · 16/04/2026 19:26

I lost my mum when she was 68 and my dad when he was 75. Do you think I should wait until I'm 67 to retire? It must be nice to know you are going to live a nice long life.

grumpygrape · 16/04/2026 19:14

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:46

Exactly this. My mum died at 88, dad currently 87 both fully with it. I am likely to be alive another 30 years. How many coffees, lunches out and walks can I do!

OP, I think you are being unreasonable to make generalisations. There are so many factors in everyone’s lives which drive their decisions; some people make the right decisions and some don’t.

Age(s),
Family,
Health,
Funds,
Interests,
Etc.

My husband is older than me and retired from his full-time work, at 62, when he was, in effect, working full-time in a stressful job when he could retire and take half his salary in pension. He then did agency work for a few years, which he thoroughly enjoyed, reduced his stress, barely reducing our joint income even when he gradually reduced his days.

I then had the opportunity to take early retirement at 56 and took the chance. We used to joke, on the work commute, that unexpected sunny days were ‘over the hills and far away’ days. Retirement meant we could go ‘over the hills’ for the day with impunity !

We ‘wasted’ a lot of money travelling and both pursued interests and voluntary work until various health issues hit us. We were never bored until now when I am struggling with having to give up travel, hobbies and voluntary work with the subsequent limited physical and mental activity due to his Alzheimer’s.

I don’t regret one day of the early retirements.

It may be trite to say that only boring people are bored but in most cases it is true. I am more frustrated than bored. I may be boring due to my world having shrunk so dramatically but as there are still people who seem to be interested in talking to me I would say not.

If you think retirement only means coffees, lunches out and walks then perhaps you are the boring one? And don't forget, none of us know how many years we have left...

NoMoreLifts · 16/04/2026 19:02

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 16/04/2026 00:14

For those who have a job they love, every age is too young to retire. To those who don’t have a job they love, they’d retire tomorrow if they won the lotto.

Personally, I think anyone who has extra money and doesn’t retire isn’t thinking it through. If you love your job and have so much extra money, set up a nonprofit or volunteer and do your job for free three days a week; money needs to be spent. So much of it being trapped in banks and Cayman Island accounts has fucked a whole generation; it’s one thing to retire at 60 from a white collar job but quite another to be forced to work a thankless, hellish retail job until 70 because SO much fucking money has been removed from society and is being holed up. I could go off for a while about these supremely selfish billionaires who don’t do a thing. Never forget - Elon Musk told the UN Food Programme to present him a problem to solve world hunger for $6 billion, a tiny portion of his wealth. They did present a workable plan, and he didn’t give them a cent. So yes, multibillionaires have fucked us all. They’re just money hoarders at that point.

But yes, this is (a small part of, but still a part of) why we’re in the position we’re in - because the people who CAN afford to leave the job market don’t, and the people who can’t afford to can’t get jobs that are already taken. Need both hands and both feet to count how many times a friend was going to be promoted but it was shelved at the last moment because “Bob” decided not to retire, despite having the money. Sort of like how it’s really difficult to get on the property ladder when some people have no house to own and others take advantage of that situation by owning 3+ houses and squeezing people dry of private rent, which has risen at exponential rates in comparison to salaries.

Sorry, OP - just in an incredibly bad mood about inequality at the moment. I’m sure you’re a nice person, and I think it’s lovely you help your da. I’m just a bit frustrated, and in a lot of pain. I know none of this is your fault. We live in an incredibly unequal society and the people with the power to change it are… what? Giving their whole lives up to age 70 to corporations, when society desperately needs their brain power elsewhere? The best afternoons in hospital were when we had volunteers; most of them were OAPs and they would just get you tea and joke around with you. Those people made a horrible time bearable and I’m very, very grateful that’s how they choose to spend one day a week of their retirement.

What a very different world it would be if everyone retired at 60 with a VERY decent state pension and GOOD lifelong medical care in exchange for volunteering until 62. I recommend anyone interested (OP maybe?) do some readings about Blue Zones where a larger proportion of people live to 100. In none of these zones is it because they were forced by circumstances to keep working.

I only know people who have regretted retiring because their pension was too small, and that’s really not a great reason to regret it. I’ve NEVER heard a wealthy, intelligent person complain about retirement - the world is literally endless. Well-paid retirement means you could start learning Japanese or breeding Syrian hamsters tomorrow.

Not sure that breeding hamsters would take much effort or time or skill. Essentially 1 male, 1 female and you're fine. No input from you required. Now, giant pandas... that would be more challenging. 😀

SeriousTissues · 16/04/2026 18:19

I’m 57 and absolutely love my job, I really couldn’t consider retiring anytime soon. My parents were in their 70s when they retired. My dad had worked since he was 15 in a fairly physical job. My friend who is the same age as me constantly talks about retiring, but she’s in a high stress job that she hates and has significant health issues - so retirement is an attractive option for her. We’re all different.

OMGitsnotgood · 16/04/2026 18:18

I really don’t get this. The vast majority of my friends are now retired and we have way more varied and interesting conversations than we did when we were all working, because we all have way more time to do interesting and varied things. Trying to get this friendship group together is way more difficult than when we were working as we are all so busy.
I don’t quite understand what makes working people more interesting when most of your busy time is spent juggling work/home/kids? I’ve been there so I do know what it’s like! But I don’t recongnise tbe boring retired people being portrayed on this thread.

cardibach · 16/04/2026 18:14

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 18:08

Yes, currently just ‘being’ is not enough

And that’s what seems sad to me. To each her own though.

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 18:08

TorroFerney · 16/04/2026 17:55

I think what you are saying could, and I labour the word could be interpreted (misinterpreted perhaps) as you thinking you just being is not enough, you are only worthwhile if you are doing things for people/for society. That may be totally wide of the mark of course. I think that may have been what the other poster meant or was picking up on - it sounded a bit like I only have value in relation to what I do for others so I can't stop that.

Yes, currently just ‘being’ is not enough

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