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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu Retiring at 55 - 30 years of idleness?

567 replies

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

OP posts:
godmum56 · 17/04/2026 12:57

cardibach · 17/04/2026 12:54

Do they? I don’t know any who do. When you become frail I can see it could be boring but that’s a good reason to retire while you are still fit and active, surely?

me either. And I still wonder where that poster got her statistics from?

cardibach · 17/04/2026 12:54

HarrietBeat · 17/04/2026 00:30

Yes, that's a real shame isn't it because this is a really interesting thread with many different views

I don't think it's balanced though as it's overwhelmingly positive about early (and regular age) retirement. But some people really struggle with endless leisure time and retirement feels like a prison rather than freedom.

Whilst this thread is full of crafting, holidaying, journaling gardeners, in real life many retirees make the stroll to the newsagents and the pot of tea last as long as possible whilst thinking how the hell do I fill the next 5 hours let alone 5 years.

Do they? I don’t know any who do. When you become frail I can see it could be boring but that’s a good reason to retire while you are still fit and active, surely?

blossombranch · 17/04/2026 12:46

thornbury · 16/04/2026 05:58

I'm planning to retire at 60, in 2 years time. DH just got a diagnosis that means he probably won't be alive to retire with me, so all of our plans and savings were for nothing other than a financially secure very much unwanted widowhood for me.

@thornburyi am so sorry. i am 4 years younger than you but in the same position otherwise. It’s so hard. I can’t believe how quickly my unspoken expectations and plans for the future have been be snatched away. Good health truly is your wealth, but you don’t appreciate it until it gets taken away.

juice92 · 17/04/2026 11:39

My in-laws both retired in their mid-50s. They are now early 70s and are really happy. They have done a fair bit of travelling (although that has slowed down a little in the last couple of years), have done loads of stuff they wanted to do to the house and garden, and spend a lot of time with a good group of friends.

You never know when you could die or how much time you'll have where you will be well enough to do some of these things. So if you can afford to do them ,then why not?

godmum56 · 17/04/2026 11:24

HeddaGarbled · 17/04/2026 01:16

many retirees make the stroll to the newsagents and the pot of tea last as long as possible whilst thinking how the hell do I fill the next 5 hours let alone 5 years

Is that true though? Is that actual fact or just a cliché? I can see that it might be true for the lonely elderly who have lost their spouses and friends, but not for people in their 50s & 60s who have made a conscious choice to take early retirement.

I'd love to know where the person who posted your quote got their statistics from. I do get that loneliness can be a serious problem for some retired people and that retirement is much easier with a comfortable income. I'd also like to know why "just being" doesn't come with plans and activities? To me "just being" is about exploring and manifesting my inner me in a way that wasn't so possible when I worked.

burnoutbabe · 17/04/2026 09:31

cardibach · 16/04/2026 15:15

@LoremIpsumCici
Yanbu of course if someone is healthy and has no caring responsibilities retirement will get boring very quickly
Of course? How do you arrive at that conclusion? Why would retirement be boring? You can do whatever you like (money is a constraint as ever, but many fun things are free or cheap). It shows a massive lack of imagination and sense of self to think that ‘of course’ a retired person would be bored.

Edited

I do occasionally get bored with my semi retired life but you know what, work also bores me at times (and I work for a fast paced start up 1 day a week) when it’s routine compliance stuff.

but if I am bored when not working then I can just shake myself out and plan a trip to cinema or find a new tv box set or book or whatever I fancy. Work I am forced to do whether bored or not. Rest of time I can choose to be bored or go and do something else. Or just YouTube all afternoon then plan something for next week!

Thechaseison71 · 17/04/2026 08:55

User3456 · 17/04/2026 07:52

Yes. In fact this is likely to do with the effect that covid infection has on the brain
https://www.infectioncontroltoday.com/view/understanding-impact-covid-19-personality-brain-function-grim-reality-wake-up-call-

How does that apply to people who lost their manners yet weren't infected

Lkt32 · 17/04/2026 08:39

I could easily fill all my time without work, with things that I am far more interested in doing.
I'm not sure I am an interesting person anyway, but if I am, it definitely isn't work that makes me interesting.
If you love your job, then great. For a lot of people they would rather be doing something else.

My Mum died in her 60s, one year after retiring. They had plans but that year was mostly spent battling cancer. They didn't get to do any of their plans. I'd never be assuming I've got til my 80s. Life doesn't always work out like that and if you've got things you'd rather be doing than work, and you can afford to do it, then why not?

Chocolatebunny61 · 17/04/2026 08:36

What about those of us that are unable to work because of medical conditions? Are we boring too? The problem is that if you get ill in your late 50’s and early 60’s then no employer wants to know and you actually end up not having a choice about not working.

SlightlyHeartbroken · 17/04/2026 08:31

Healthy Lifespan in England for women is around 62 years. I think having a few good years is a good idea. There is the idea of three phases of retirement, go-go, slow-go and no-go…

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/mortality-insights-from-gad-december-2024/mortality-insights-from-gad-december-2024

Lastgig · 17/04/2026 08:17

It's interesting that a previous poster mentioned giving younger people a chance. I was an MD/ CEO for thirty years. I'm sixty.
I got a call a few weeks ago for a role in London and I asked re the competition. I know the other candidates were 40/45. And I thought you know what they need this job (school age DC and career markers to make). I'll just be doing it for the money. I didn't want the commute, the stress or the politics.

Before the politicians buggered up retirement ages women retired at sixty for a reason. Elderly care and helping the children with childcare. It was doable because people weren't burnt out. You're a bit too old at 67 to do much childcare. I dread the thought as I'm too disabled to be of much use. Now we have a social care crisis as there is no one to help. I wish these daft buggers in policy making looked at the total picture.

Men if in the professions retired at 55-65. Professional men also tended to have had a more comfortable home life with lots of jobs done by others ( cleaning, property maintenance etc, SAHW).

Reallyneedsaholiday · 17/04/2026 08:02

I can understand doing a job you love and not wanting to retire. But why would you think that someone else doing what they want to do would make them “boring”? I can’t think of anything worse than being friends with someone who droned on and on about their day job, and their day job is the only thing that has changed.

PinkyLincs · 17/04/2026 07:59

ToffeeCrabApple · 16/04/2026 00:48

Ive thought for years that if I could afford to retire from my "proper" (stressful high paid) job in my mid/late 50s I'd like to do things like:

  • be a magistrate (ive got a professional background that would make me a decent candidate for this)
  • try and get elected to the local county council
  • volunteer at local primary schools to either hear kids read
  • offer to run (for free) afterschool music groups such a school string group or choir (ive got relevant skills & dbs checks & experience as a registered chaperone for child performers).
-volunteer with citizen advice bureau (again ive got professional expertise that would be really valuable in that capacity)

For me retirement didnt mean giving up work. It was more about not being responsible to an employer and being able to organize my own day and time as I saw fit.
I feel like this about it

I volunteered at the CA for 6 years. Over 200 people applied for my job. When I started I found it very rewarding but towards the end it was just so frustrating and bureaucratic.

User3456 · 17/04/2026 07:52

Lastgig · 17/04/2026 07:43

Agree. I wake up and don't dread the day. I think about breakfast before I eat it and I do my correspondence.

I loved my career until post COVID toxicity crept in. People seem to have forgotten their manners. Men especially so.

I use to earn big money but I don't need anymore handbags, jewellery or clothes.
As soon as I've sold my house I'll be happy as a pig in s*it.
Life is for living and when you think that's all folks ask yourself are there any pockets in a shroud? (My mother's favourite saying).

Yes. In fact this is likely to do with the effect that covid infection has on the brain
https://www.infectioncontroltoday.com/view/understanding-impact-covid-19-personality-brain-function-grim-reality-wake-up-call-

Understanding the Impact of COVID-19 on Personality and Brain Function: A Grim Reality or a Wake-Up Call? | Infection Control Today

Understanding the Impact of COVID-19 on Personality and Brain Function: A Grim Reality or a Wake-Up Call? | Infection Control Today

Opinion: Kevin Kavanagh, MD, examines a summary of studies on how COVID-19 may damage the brain's frontal lobes, alter personality traits and cognitive functions, and potentially reshape society's dynamics.

https://www.infectioncontroltoday.com/view/understanding-impact-covid-19-personality-brain-function-grim-reality-wake-up-call-

User3456 · 17/04/2026 07:49

Nothing but jealousy from me! I am 55 and have friends who are starting to retire.
I am so done with work but will likely be working until I am 67. It doesn't help that my boss is awful of course....

PinkyLincs · 17/04/2026 07:45

Not sure why it bothers you so much. Jealous? That's how it comes across. If people can retire early and live their best life doing what THEY want to do then good on them. It's really none of your business tbh. What you consider boring and what they enjoy are two different things. They probably feel sorry for you and the stress in your life (of which there will be some when you are juggling so much).

We all have one life to live so instead of criticising other people's life choices, why don't you concentrate on yours.

Oh and lose the green eyed monster and try and be happy for your friends.

Lastgig · 17/04/2026 07:43

HeddaGarbled · 17/04/2026 01:20

Just to add, I retired at 58, am now 66 and these have been my happiest years since university.

Agree. I wake up and don't dread the day. I think about breakfast before I eat it and I do my correspondence.

I loved my career until post COVID toxicity crept in. People seem to have forgotten their manners. Men especially so.

I use to earn big money but I don't need anymore handbags, jewellery or clothes.
As soon as I've sold my house I'll be happy as a pig in s*it.
Life is for living and when you think that's all folks ask yourself are there any pockets in a shroud? (My mother's favourite saying).

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 17/04/2026 06:45

OP, what they do is none of your business.

Aweekoffwork · 17/04/2026 04:29

I’m 61 and have not one but FOUR jobs, including some voluntary work, working nearly 50 hours a week in total. In contrast, my closest friend works three hours per MONTH and spends her time:

Zumba.ing
Yoga.ing
Long walks in the countryside
Swimming at a local Spa Hotel
Travelling abroad and around the UK
Eating out/meeting friends for coffee

That all sounds lovely but the hobbies I enjoy I can, fortunately, fit around work which makes my life a bit of a whirlwind but fun, with chores at home having to be done at break-neck speed

I can’t imagine my husband retiring either, same age, he seems to thrive on having projects, being busy and earning money

SkipAd · 17/04/2026 02:45

OK I will be honest I only RTFT until page 18 or so, but I looove this thread,
Like others, retired earlier than 60.
60 now. Christ, I am so less interested and interesting according to OP? Shit,was there a literal age? I mean when we were kids were we more or less interesting😬

..

HeddaGarbled · 17/04/2026 01:20

Just to add, I retired at 58, am now 66 and these have been my happiest years since university.

HeddaGarbled · 17/04/2026 01:16

many retirees make the stroll to the newsagents and the pot of tea last as long as possible whilst thinking how the hell do I fill the next 5 hours let alone 5 years

Is that true though? Is that actual fact or just a cliché? I can see that it might be true for the lonely elderly who have lost their spouses and friends, but not for people in their 50s & 60s who have made a conscious choice to take early retirement.

Loadsalies · 17/04/2026 00:48

aussiegonewrong · 17/04/2026 00:30

There are no guarantees my parents are both in their 90s and still with it , but I had cancer in my mid fifties which forced early retirement and also my younger sister did too and sadly she didn’t make it .
I live every day grateful to be still here and making the most of my life , it’s certainly not boring
Old age is a massive privilege and if people want to garden or go for lunch let them , likewise if you want to still work that’s fine too , it’s up to you

My dm was late 80s. Df died in his 50s. 2 siblings died of cancer before 60. 1 has survived it. Odds are I'll get it? Hopefully not but likely.

We just don't know what's around the corner. I've known so many people die before 60.
Seems to be lots of younger ones lately. I don't know if that's just how it goes as you age? Maybe you notice more?

HarrietBeat · 17/04/2026 00:30

Yes, that's a real shame isn't it because this is a really interesting thread with many different views

I don't think it's balanced though as it's overwhelmingly positive about early (and regular age) retirement. But some people really struggle with endless leisure time and retirement feels like a prison rather than freedom.

Whilst this thread is full of crafting, holidaying, journaling gardeners, in real life many retirees make the stroll to the newsagents and the pot of tea last as long as possible whilst thinking how the hell do I fill the next 5 hours let alone 5 years.

aussiegonewrong · 17/04/2026 00:30

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:46

Exactly this. My mum died at 88, dad currently 87 both fully with it. I am likely to be alive another 30 years. How many coffees, lunches out and walks can I do!

There are no guarantees my parents are both in their 90s and still with it , but I had cancer in my mid fifties which forced early retirement and also my younger sister did too and sadly she didn’t make it .
I live every day grateful to be still here and making the most of my life , it’s certainly not boring
Old age is a massive privilege and if people want to garden or go for lunch let them , likewise if you want to still work that’s fine too , it’s up to you