Too much negativity on here.. I’m bloody leaving

👆🏻 This response right here 👆🏻 to my genuine and from the heart post about many of us finding the cruel off-hand vitriol too much, is the most perfect example of what I’m talking about. I spoke without condemnation or vitriol, exploring some of the changes in tone I’ve seen over 2 decades here, and examining what might have driven that shift. I shared that it concerns me why some posters have to be such ‘mean girls’, mocking, deriding and belittling other women for absolutely no reason other than to show off to eachother. I shared that sometimes posters can be feeling vulnerable, or have been bullied or abused in the past and shouldn’t be treated this way on a mums support/chat forum…. I’ve not seen women be so needlessly vile to each other since secondary school. I can’t understand where this shift in the way people relate to each other has all come from - it’s bizarre to me 😵‍💫

I ask all the sneering, ‘clever’, bitchy mean-girl posters this….

Would you be so horrible and rude and dismissive to the woman who treats your husband when he’s in a suicidal depression and successfully manages to save his life? Because that’s me and that’s what I’ve been doing all day. Im not a disembodied username to be mocked and jeered at for laughs. A real human. A mum to two lovely kids. A single parent. An NHS worker. A daughter. A really loyal and sociable friend. The person who puts your bin out when you forget etc. I could be your next door neighbour under an alias. I could be the really lovely dinner lady at your son’s primary school. I could be the person who donated the blood that just saved your mum’s life after that hip fracture. All of us on here are ALL of these things.

Please - think about that before you bully and dismiss and mock and heckle. These are real people you are treating like dirt.

I said the general theme of the above in a measured way in my earlier post, and got the above sarcastic, deriding, belittling and nasty post as a reply. 🫤

….Which rather demonstrates my point.

Fifteen years here, but I don’t recognise this now, nor the shameful bitchy bullying hate-filled cesspit of frothing rage and insouciant cruelty that these posters have morphed it into. It’s a shame. And I’m ashamed for it.

Seriously, love, you're not at the Oscars, nobody needed your speech. Glad you realised it was mock-worthy at least 😅 I cannot emphasise enough that you leaving doesn't matter, nobody at all cares, you won't be missed and it doesn't matter how you feel. No lines are being drawn ffs you're just not posting on a website 😆

Just like nobody with a life cares about my comment and it doesn't matter on any actual, real level.

It's just a website. Move on. Ciao!

It is generally accepted to say the word cunt on here as long as it isn’t directed as a personal attack

My comment was deleted because i said the C word.

I agree with you. I always leave Mumsnet feeling worse than before. People can be SO kneejerk nasty here (see the toxic responses on this board for absolutely no reason) and they don't want to reflect on how they're reacting. I leave Mumsnet feeling like schools are awful, the world is going to hell, kids are being ruined with modern life etc, when I don't really see that in my own life. Its like a distillation of all that is terrible and it is unique to this site. Like other posters, I've outgrown it. I wish there was another site where mostly women could get together because I love the comaradary but I just use Reddit now. People seem more balanced and open to positivity there.

@Wearenotborg I was researching something and landed on a link to Mumsnet, then saw I had a notification and kept scrolling for a bit. OPs post was near the top. Mumsnet is still a top search result for many parent related things and I wasn't intentionally here to scroll.

Cantankerous?

My comment was deleted because i said the C word.

Not for me, I'm so tickled because I'm hearing it for 1st time 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Joke is so tired it’s already been made on this thread.

This isn’t an airport , you don’t need to announce your departure

This isn’t the airport; you don’t need to announce your leaving!

I agree with you. I always leave Mumsnet feeling worse than before. People can be SO kneejerk nasty here (see the toxic responses on this board for absolutely no reason) and they don't want to reflect on how they're reacting. I leave Mumsnet feeling like schools are awful, the world is going to hell, kids are being ruined with modern life etc, when I don't really see that in my own life. Its like a distillation of all that is terrible and it is unique to this site. Like other posters, I've outgrown it. I wish there was another site where mostly women could get together because I love the comaradary but I just use Reddit now. People seem more balanced and open to positivity there.

@Wearenotborg I was researching something and landed on a link to Mumsnet, then saw I had a notification and kept scrolling for a bit. OPs post was near the top. Mumsnet is still a top search result for many parent related things and I wasn't intentionally here to scroll.

Well what a disgrace is all I can say. Racists, negativity, disrespect and not to mention the know it all regulars on here 👍 Some of you really need to have a word with yourself

Likewise! I think the membership is so much larger now.
I think the regulars back in the day were annoying and self important, though; they’d start chatting in the middle of someone’s thread about unrelated stuff.
And there were the queen bees that people used to inexplicably bow down to, even though there was nothing particularly interesting about them.

On further reading of some of the flippant, needlessly caustic and competitive attempts to be the most bitchy / funny in their response to the OP, I’ve come to the conclusion that after 15yrs of being a Mumsnetter my relationship with Mumsnet now probably needs to come to an end.

For those early days of pregnancy and young child-rearing I found the majority of threads warm, wise, riotously funny, down-to-earth and supportive. A real sense of solidarity. Witty, bright, socially-conscious women, holding each others backs.

It’s sad but I think those days are long gone. I get that trends / demographics / speech patterns / aggression levels / communication trends change with the passage of time. And now this is a different place. Not a wrong place. Just different to the one that was my home and home to many of us from the 2010’s onwards.

I’m an old croc now (45), and I don’t use other SM so I’ve been kept sheltered from this new knives-out communication style, probably imported from other SM platforms and the general proliferation of hiding behind keyboards saying horrible things to anonymous other users. So this just seems alien to me.

I don’t think I’m a good fit for MN now. And it’s not a good fit for me or my emotional wellbeing. Seeing people (OP) being mocked by a huge group of people has really upset me but at least drawn a line in the sand.

I’m maintaining that line in the sand now by deleting my account with heavy heart. Thanks to all you amazing women who’ve tried to keep the old spirit alive (and have kept me alive at points).

ps: Fully prepared that my message will now also elicit a pile-on of mockery, sarcasm and incitements to ‘shut the door on your way out’. If it does, then proof that my decision was a sound one.

😔

Well what a disgrace is all I can say. Racists, negativity, disrespect and not to mention the know it all regulars on here 👍 Some of you really need to have a word with yourself

Who are the regulars now? I’ve been on here for 18 years and don’t really recognise anyone anymore.

Slightly hoping I might strike a chord with some of the regulars (you know who you are) who are so full of self righteousness, believe they know absolutely everything and have to have the last word. Some of these posters will argue about when your next cycle is. They just love to argue.

On further reading of some of the flippant, needlessly caustic and competitive attempts to be the most bitchy / funny in their response to the OP, I’ve come to the conclusion that after 15yrs of being a Mumsnetter my relationship with Mumsnet now probably needs to come to an end.

For those early days of pregnancy and young child-rearing I found the majority of threads warm, wise, riotously funny, down-to-earth and supportive. A real sense of solidarity. Witty, bright, socially-conscious women, holding each others backs.

It’s sad but I think those days are long gone. I get that trends / demographics / speech patterns / aggression levels / communication trends change with the passage of time. And now this is a different place. Not a wrong place. Just different to the one that was my home and home to many of us from the 2010’s onwards.

I’m an old croc now (45), and I don’t use other SM so I’ve been kept sheltered from this new knives-out communication style, probably imported from other SM platforms and the general proliferation of hiding behind keyboards saying horrible things to anonymous other users. So this just seems alien to me.

I don’t think I’m a good fit for MN now. And it’s not a good fit for me or my emotional wellbeing. Seeing people (OP) being mocked by a huge group of people has really upset me but at least drawn a line in the sand.

I’m maintaining that line in the sand now by deleting my account with heavy heart. Thanks to all you amazing women who’ve tried to keep the old spirit alive (and have kept me alive at points).

ps: Fully prepared that my message will now also elicit a pile-on of mockery, sarcasm and incitements to ‘shut the door on your way out’. If it does, then proof that my decision was a sound one.

😔