Too much negativity on here.. I’m bloody leaving

This site is genuinely mad. The way some of you act, you definitely put those facebook posts up “To the person in the pink ford who beeped at me!! I put my indicator on before I pulled in front of you!! I have your reg and I will report you if you don’t send me a private message apologising. The unexpected sound of your horn nearly made me crash”

Does anyone think that the standard of humour has gone down? The “witty” comments on this thread for example, are very predictable and lame.

Please feel free to do better.

Slightly hoping I might strike a chord with some of the regulars (you know who you are) who are so full of self righteousness, believe they know absolutely everything and have to have the last word. Some of these posters will argue about when your next cycle is. They just love to argue.

👆🏻 This response right here 👆🏻 to my genuine and from the heart post about many of us finding the cruel off-hand vitriol too much, is the most perfect example of what I’m talking about. I spoke without condemnation or vitriol, exploring some of the changes in tone I’ve seen over 2 decades here, and examining what might have driven that shift. I shared that it concerns me why some posters have to be such ‘mean girls’, mocking, deriding and belittling other women for absolutely no reason other than to show off to eachother. I shared that sometimes posters can be feeling vulnerable, or have been bullied or abused in the past and shouldn’t be treated this way on a mums support/chat forum…. I’ve not seen women be so needlessly vile to each other since secondary school. I can’t understand where this shift in the way people relate to each other has all come from - it’s bizarre to me 😵‍💫

I ask all the sneering, ‘clever’, bitchy mean-girl posters this….

Would you be so horrible and rude and dismissive to the woman who treats your husband when he’s in a suicidal depression and successfully manages to save his life? Because that’s me and that’s what I’ve been doing all day. Im not a disembodied username to be mocked and jeered at for laughs. A real human. A mum to two lovely kids. A single parent. An NHS worker. A daughter. A really loyal and sociable friend. The person who puts your bin out when you forget etc. I could be your next door neighbour under an alias. I could be the really lovely dinner lady at your son’s primary school. I could be the person who donated the blood that just saved your mum’s life after that hip fracture. All of us on here are ALL of these things.

Please - think about that before you bully and dismiss and mock and heckle. These are real people you are treating like dirt.

I said the general theme of the above in a measured way in my earlier post, and got the above sarcastic, deriding, belittling and nasty post as a reply. 🫤

….Which rather demonstrates my point.

Fifteen years here, but I don’t recognise this now, nor the shameful bitchy bullying hate-filled cesspit of frothing rage and insouciant cruelty that these posters have morphed it into. It’s a shame. And I’m ashamed for it.

I think the constant name changing makes this forum a lot worse than it could be. No one has to stick around and be accounted for what they say, they just go on different threads and change their username.

Having said that, I have been on several threads where the OP seems genuinely in need of help, and the majority of posters who have replied, offering help and advice, has been good to see.

I’ve been around on here since 2010 and occasionally take longish breaks for my wellbeing. I’ve recently returned and am genuinely shocked at the online bullying, smart-assery and outright aggression & hostility of so many responses / posters. I’m really saddened people now feel they can talk to others in this caustic and heartless way.

I know I can be a bit frustrated and blunt sometimes but the nastiness and casual aggression I see / have been subject to is wild, compared to how people on here used to interact with each other.

It can make the difference between just about coping, and not coping.

I even feel nervous about posting this tbh, as I’m genuinely prepared for some nasty, hurtful and aggressive responses such as the OP has received on this thread. I’m feeling very traumatised from work tonight, and vulnerable in my own severe MH challenges, and aware that opening myself up for the really awful, snide, sarcastic “you do you” and “go away” and “bore off” and “whatever” and nasty emojis will probably make the difference to me tonight between going to bed feeling head and going to bed feeling woeful.

This is just my own experience / thoughts tho, please don’t shoot me down for sharing them 🙏🏻

Well what a disgrace is all I can say. Racists, negativity, disrespect and not to mention the know it all regulars on here 👍 Some of you really need to have a word with yourself

👆🏻 This response right here 👆🏻 to my genuine and from the heart post about many of us finding the cruel off-hand vitriol too much, is the most perfect example of what I’m talking about. I spoke without condemnation or vitriol, exploring some of the changes in tone I’ve seen over 2 decades here, and examining what might have driven that shift. I shared that it concerns me why some posters have to be such ‘mean girls’, mocking, deriding and belittling other women for absolutely no reason other than to show off to eachother. I shared that sometimes posters can be feeling vulnerable, or have been bullied or abused in the past and shouldn’t be treated this way on a mums support/chat forum…. I’ve not seen women be so needlessly vile to each other since secondary school. I can’t understand where this shift in the way people relate to each other has all come from - it’s bizarre to me 😵‍💫

I ask all the sneering, ‘clever’, bitchy mean-girl posters this….

Would you be so horrible and rude and dismissive to the woman who treats your husband when he’s in a suicidal depression and successfully manages to save his life? Because that’s me and that’s what I’ve been doing all day. Im not a disembodied username to be mocked and jeered at for laughs. A real human. A mum to two lovely kids. A single parent. An NHS worker. A daughter. A really loyal and sociable friend. The person who puts your bin out when you forget etc. I could be your next door neighbour under an alias. I could be the really lovely dinner lady at your son’s primary school. I could be the person who donated the blood that just saved your mum’s life after that hip fracture. All of us on here are ALL of these things.

Please - think about that before you bully and dismiss and mock and heckle. These are real people you are treating like dirt.

I said the general theme of the above in a measured way in my earlier post, and got the above sarcastic, deriding, belittling and nasty post as a reply. 🫤

….Which rather demonstrates my point.

Fifteen years here, but I don’t recognise this now, nor the shameful bitchy bullying hate-filled cesspit of frothing rage and insouciant cruelty that these posters have morphed it into. It’s a shame. And I’m ashamed for it.

This is good to remember.

On further reading of some of the flippant, needlessly caustic and competitive attempts to be the most bitchy / funny in their response to the OP, I’ve come to the conclusion that after 15yrs of being a Mumsnetter my relationship with Mumsnet now probably needs to come to an end.

For those early days of pregnancy and young child-rearing I found the majority of threads warm, wise, riotously funny, down-to-earth and supportive. A real sense of solidarity. Witty, bright, socially-conscious women, holding each others backs.

It’s sad but I think those days are long gone. I get that trends / demographics / speech patterns / aggression levels / communication trends change with the passage of time. And now this is a different place. Not a wrong place. Just different to the one that was my home and home to many of us from the 2010’s onwards.

I’m an old croc now (45), and I don’t use other SM so I’ve been kept sheltered from this new knives-out communication style, probably imported from other SM platforms and the general proliferation of hiding behind keyboards saying horrible things to anonymous other users. So this just seems alien to me.

I don’t think I’m a good fit for MN now. And it’s not a good fit for me or my emotional wellbeing. Seeing people (OP) being mocked by a huge group of people has really upset me but at least drawn a line in the sand.

I’m maintaining that line in the sand now by deleting my account with heavy heart. Thanks to all you amazing women who’ve tried to keep the old spirit alive (and have kept me alive at points).

ps: Fully prepared that my message will now also elicit a pile-on of mockery, sarcasm and incitements to ‘shut the door on your way out’. If it does, then proof that my decision was a sound one.

😔

Well what a disgrace is all I can say. Racists, negativity, disrespect and not to mention the know it all regulars on here 👍 Some of you really need to have a word with yourself

You Gods that's brave of you. Folk generally get ripped to shreds for not RTT!!!!

Always remember this is not a charity or support group for struggling (for whatever reason) parents or women.

It’s a business. That’s all. A business, out to get advertising and to be sold to the highest bidder.

Nothing more than that.

I don’t really read other peoples comments unless it’s a light hearted post.
I tend to just read the OP’s responses and updates and then give advice if I have any.