To not have gone to hospital with bf?

How did you conclude the OP has no love or care for a man that she runs around after and allows him to shag her? He hardly sounds like a prince, does he?

Does he know people die from asthma attacks? Presumably yes, and is he doing anything to help himself or is his asthma, weight, his children and everything else her responsibility rather than his? Genuine love and care - like making his lunch every day - has got her nothing but blame for him scoffing sausage rolls and crisps. Why is she meant to have this endless reservoir of love and care while he abuses his health and all she gets is grief from him and his mother? I think she'd be better off staying mad longer and drawing a firm line. As well as sorting out iron-clad contraception in future.

How do you conclude it's a "load of crap"?

What a load of crap.

Do you know people die from asthma attacks?
If you can stay mad and have no sympathy for someone when they are in hospital due to an asthma attack there can't be any genuine love or care there.

Today I didn't make my bf any lunch and he was in a mood when I got home and said he'd eaten junk out the fridge (sausage rolls and crisps) and accuser me of not helping him lose weight

He sounds absolutely pathetic. That kind of attitude plus the vaping with asthma make it hard to fathom why you'd waste a moment worrying about whether you should've done more for him. I guess his mother's babied him into this state but it's not your job to carry that on. You have enough children to deal with.

Oh, and I'm a 68 year old woman who lives on her own, and took myself off to A+E in a cab when I suspected a gastric bleed. I was admitted in the end and am OK now. I didn't want anyone clucking over me in a crowded hospital, I'm not a child, and I was not feeling well either and didn't want to have to converse with anyone other than the medics!.

It depends on the reason for going to hospital. What I had was quite serious but I could walk and talk and I was missing for hours for various tests like CT, scopes, X ray and so on. Even if someone had accompanied me I would have been missing for hours anyway! I had visitors during my admission. That was fine.

He sounds like a pathetic man child and YANBU. Any decent man would put the care of the children first and reassure you that they would be fine by themselves. I’m not surprised his mother is taking his side - she’s probably largely responsible for him being such a self centred arsehole that he can’t cope without you making his lunch for him.

You deserve better.

Contraception.

I'm sure he'll be fine. More important is how your relationship will be going forward, and a decision regarding a positive pregnancy test right now.

Not everyone drives, or has a car.

Why the hell would you have gone with him??

Even if you didn’t have children- there is zero reason to go to the ER for a boyfriend whose life choices have put him in hospital.

Your pregnant with 2 kids it’s not a family outing if his mum came to watch the kids you could have gone or she could go and keep him company whilst he waits. As far as I remember you can’t get 3 additional people in an ambulance anyway.

IMO, I wouldn’t be having a third baby with this man child, and you’ll probably be happier single!

Does he work?

Children don’t belong in adult A&E. Is his mum offering to babysit/sit with him?

Its fine. He's an adult. At a hospital. He could cope.
His mum can always go to him if she wants.

I am also asthmatic and have been taken to hospital several times over the years and when the children were young my husband didn't come with me. He'd come with the kids to pick me up once I was discharged.

That's why I said unless he was extremely unwell. I've been admitted with asthma several times myself and got there under my own steam, as advised by 111.

I’ve had to go to A&E solo a couple of times (health condition thankfully now resolved) because we have had no childcare, so DH had to stay home with the kids. Just one of those things.

It doesn’t sound like a great setup generally though.

He's a grown man who is deliberately sabotaging his health and blaming you for it. I wouldn't have him back tbh. He can get a taxi to mummy's house.

You deserve better than this OP.

An asthma attack is very serious an ambulance is appropriate in this situation

He's a grown man he doesn't need you there with him. Taking young children to a&e is stupid unless they are the ill ones

Personally, I wouldn't have called an ambulance and would have dropped him off at A&E - unless he was extremely unwell with his asthma, in which case I would have gone with him.

It sounds to me you have enough on your plate OP with your existing DC and your pregnancy without also having to mother your partner.

He is an adult and should be able to organise his own food and manage his own weight problems.

He obviously doesn't take his asthma seriously otherwise he wouldn't vape and yet he expects you to drop everything when he has an attack which was partly induced by his own behaviour?

You called the ambulance for him. Surely his mother could have gone to the hospital. You quite rightly prioritised your DC.

He really really needs to grow up and take some personal responsibility for his own health