I live over 100 miles away from my mum (who is 95) - I have travelled every other weekend for the last 8 years to see her and check she’s ok .., I shop for her when I’m there , make food and organise any jobs she needs doing. My husband also does jobs for her and fixes stuff. I work full time and have found this quite stressful (as well as expensive .., my jobs not well paid) … because of where I worked I used drive just under 1000 miles a week (!) on the weekends I saw her.
Recently she had a series of bad falls and I’ve given in my notice at work (to look after her) , missed my husbands 65th birthday, a 2 week holiday to France and a best friends 60th. She is fully aware of the sacrifices I’ve made but passes them off as “thank you” but nothing more.
My sister, who lived close to her, died 3 years ago and her children don’t like my mum so won’t help out so it’s all on me. I am currently doing everything for her (we do have carers in every day for an hour) but I’m 1 week in to a 3 week stint … and I’m struggling.
I haven’t always got on with mum … she’s racist and a snob (to be blunt) and does’nt listen to what people’s opinions are e.g I broke a front tooth yesterday and she just passed it off as nothing (can’t get to a dentist as I’m here until the start of May). I am not a miserable person but am feeling a little overwhelmed and angry at being made to sacrifice so much .., I’m in my 60s and want to be somewhere else. I visited her in hospital when she needed me … washed clothes, did her lawn, batch cooked her meals and drove miles to sort her out. Quite frankly, as much as I love her, I’m irked by the fact that her granddaughter (who lives 4 doors down) would’ve been helping out here if mum hadn’t been so vile to my sister. I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. Am I being a cow for not liking her much?