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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask our nanny to wear less perfume around the children?

37 replies

Panamanian · 15/04/2026 11:24

We have a nanny who does after school/nursery care for my primary and nursery aged children. Recently she has started wearing a lot of perfume - to the extent that I can smell it in the house even after she has left and on my children when I put them to bed (even after a bath). I’m 8 weeks pregnant so appreciate I’m probably more sensitive than normal but DH has noticed it too.
Would I be unreasonable to gently ask her to tone it down? And if not, how would you raise it in a way that doesn’t upset her?

OP posts:
sunflower85 · 15/04/2026 13:50

20thCenturyFecks · 15/04/2026 13:37

If she's only recently started to wear perfume that strong has she been given it as a gift; or is she trying to tell you in not so many words that there's a smell in your home?

What a bizarre take on the situation 🥴

OP YANBU, just tell her to stop wearing it or tone it down, I had this years ago in work, a guy who sat near me in work had aftershave so strong, within 30 mins of him coming in in the morning, the other person who sat near him and I both had banging headaches.

20thCenturyFecks · 15/04/2026 13:37

If she's only recently started to wear perfume that strong has she been given it as a gift; or is she trying to tell you in not so many words that there's a smell in your home?

WhatAMarvelousTune · 15/04/2026 13:35

Not unreasonable. But if you want to soften it, I’d blame the pregnancy (if she’s aware/you’re happy to tell her).

Beenwhereyouareagain · 15/04/2026 13:33

GrianGealach · 15/04/2026 12:21

Absolutely.

A friend of mine has such violent reactions to certain smells (violent nausea and headaches) that he stipulates a scent-free office. No scented deodorant, aftershave or perfume on anyone.

I once watched him get into a car with someone who'd forgotten (his own brother!) for a lift to a one-off event he was really keen to go to, and even though his brother realised, immediately got out of the car and used bottled water and tissues to scrub his wrists and neck, my friend had to get out of the car after a couple of miles and throw up on the roadside. It can be pretty disabling.

Show quote history

Someone told me rubbing alcohol on the oversprayed areas removes the scent. It worked for me.

AnotherEmma · 15/04/2026 13:21

YANBU at all. I hate strong perfume. My mum wears too much of it and the smell ends up on my clothes (after I have given her a hello/goodbye hug) and on my kids and in my house. Of course she is my mum not my employee so I can't ask her not to wear it! But for a paid nanny you can and should definitely ask her to wear no (or at least less) perfume.

The worst is when people get perfume all over babies, they completely ruin the delicious baby smell!

GrianGealach · 15/04/2026 12:21

Youlittlenightmare · 15/04/2026 12:06

It's fine, you're her employer, it's not an unreasonable ask at all. I love perfume and always wear it, but if my employer said I couldn't because it was making them sick I'd just have to wear that.

Absolutely.

A friend of mine has such violent reactions to certain smells (violent nausea and headaches) that he stipulates a scent-free office. No scented deodorant, aftershave or perfume on anyone.

I once watched him get into a car with someone who'd forgotten (his own brother!) for a lift to a one-off event he was really keen to go to, and even though his brother realised, immediately got out of the car and used bottled water and tissues to scrub his wrists and neck, my friend had to get out of the car after a couple of miles and throw up on the roadside. It can be pretty disabling.

Youlittlenightmare · 15/04/2026 12:06

It's fine, you're her employer, it's not an unreasonable ask at all. I love perfume and always wear it, but if my employer said I couldn't because it was making them sick I'd just have to wear that.

Pippa12 · 15/04/2026 11:32

We are asked not to wear perfume for work as nurses due to sensitive respiratory Illnesses etc. Nobody really wants to smell overpowering perfume- it’s gross! I’d tell her.

Sess249 · 15/04/2026 11:31

i am a nanny, and think you are very reasonable. Nothing worse than getting your kids back and having them smell ‘wrong’.

just kindly and to the point
”hi X,
recently your perfume has become stronger and the hosue still smells like it even once you’ve left and so do the children. Please can you not apply perfume on days you work for us? I really appreciate it.

CarolinaLiar · 15/04/2026 11:30

GrianGealach · 15/04/2026 11:26

Just say ‘I’m pregnant, and my sense of smell has gone super-strength. Could you stop wearing perfume to work until further notice? Thanks.’

This is all you need

Ceejay9 · 15/04/2026 11:29

I would say it's causing you to have really bad headaches. Could she not wear it to work.
Bit then I'm a bit blunt!🤣

GrianGealach · 15/04/2026 11:26

Just say ‘I’m pregnant, and my sense of smell has gone super-strength. Could you stop wearing perfume to work until further notice? Thanks.’