Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask our nanny to wear less perfume around the children?

37 replies

Panamanian · 15/04/2026 11:24

We have a nanny who does after school/nursery care for my primary and nursery aged children. Recently she has started wearing a lot of perfume - to the extent that I can smell it in the house even after she has left and on my children when I put them to bed (even after a bath). I’m 8 weeks pregnant so appreciate I’m probably more sensitive than normal but DH has noticed it too.
Would I be unreasonable to gently ask her to tone it down? And if not, how would you raise it in a way that doesn’t upset her?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Sess249 · 16/04/2026 21:36

Panamanian · 16/04/2026 19:19

Thanks all. I decided to take people’s advice and blame it on the pregnancy to soften the request. She was fine with it but said she couldn’t even smell it herself, which I find so hard to imagine as it’s so strong.

I think sometimes when you live in a cloud of it you get nose blind 🤷‍♀️ Like the people who don’t realise how “doggy” their house smells cause they smell it all the time

Original poster
Panamanian · 16/04/2026 19:19

Thanks all. I decided to take people’s advice and blame it on the pregnancy to soften the request. She was fine with it but said she couldn’t even smell it herself, which I find so hard to imagine as it’s so strong.

OP posts:
IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 16/04/2026 18:24

BridgetJonesV2 · 16/04/2026 13:48

Absolutely use your pregnancy - it is far less likely to cause offence.

She shouldn't have to reveal her pregnancy if she hasn't already, its a perfectly reasonable request

BridgetJonesV2 · 16/04/2026 13:48

Absolutely use your pregnancy - it is far less likely to cause offence.

Hermiaxx · 16/04/2026 13:47

YADNBU - any reasonable person would accept your request.

DH is allergic to chemical perfumes (the lynx effect!) and our life is so restricted! Apparently at least a third of the population has a direct impact as a result of these sprays and detergent chemicals! I’m so glad to hear NHS staff are having training regarding this issue. I’ve always thought people complaining of constant headaches should avoid these sprays rather than give up coffee and tea as is often suggested!

Voneska · 16/04/2026 13:37

Just apologise for the fact that upon hiring her : You Forgot To Request/ Stipulate ' No Perfume' policy, as someone has allergy to Perfume.
N.B. All Healthcare workers undergo TRAINING, and during that training its advised to not wear any Perfume or strong deodorant at work.

ThisSunnyBee · 15/04/2026 22:12

Ceejay9 · 15/04/2026 11:29

I would say it's causing you to have really bad headaches. Could she not wear it to work.
Bit then I'm a bit blunt!🤣

Wait , noone mentioned headaches

tomtomthepipersson · 15/04/2026 22:06

As a qualified NNEB nursery nurse / nanny, we were told not to wear perfume, have hair tied back and short clean nails.
This was 30 years ago though, but I still follow this practise, as it makes total sense!

GrianGealach · 15/04/2026 17:55

OneNaiceSnail · 15/04/2026 14:12

I’m surprised at the previous comments. I guess you could blame the pregnancy, but I wouldn’t consider someone wearing perfume to be something you could complain about.

Of course you can ask for something that’s significantly impacting your comfort to be changed, as an employer. Like I said up the thread, a friend of mine who’s violently affected by certain scents, who is the director of a company, has a no perfume/aftershave policy in the office.

Theresnorush · 15/04/2026 17:49

Perfume gives me a terrible headache. I would have to tell her or end up with a migraine, if I couldn’t get rid of the smell quick enough.

Justanothermum42 · 15/04/2026 16:14

Easy - tell her that the pregnancy is making you super nauseous around perfume smells…

ToddlerMumAddictedtoCoffeee · 15/04/2026 15:44

OneNaiceSnail · 15/04/2026 14:12

I’m surprised at the previous comments. I guess you could blame the pregnancy, but I wouldn’t consider someone wearing perfume to be something you could complain about.

She's a caregiver to small children. It's very standard to be asked not to wear perfume. For the same reason nurses are not allowed to wear perfume at work.

ladyofshertonabbas · 15/04/2026 15:14

yandbu, fragrance allergy is one of the most common and it can get very VERY bad, with sufferers resembling burns victims in extreme cases. And obvs once triggered it's hard to rewind from that. Not to mention the weird toxic chemical issues. Saying this as a sufferer- do ask her!

Moveoverdarlin · 15/04/2026 15:12

OneNaiceSnail · 15/04/2026 14:12

I’m surprised at the previous comments. I guess you could blame the pregnancy, but I wouldn’t consider someone wearing perfume to be something you could complain about.

Me neither.

changenameagain555 · 15/04/2026 15:11

OneNaiceSnail · 15/04/2026 14:12

I’m surprised at the previous comments. I guess you could blame the pregnancy, but I wouldn’t consider someone wearing perfume to be something you could complain about.

If you are the employer I'm pretty sure you can. Obviously she could decide she doesn't want to work for an employer who stipulates no perfume but unless somehow perfume wearing has to be reasonable adjustment for a disability I'm pretty sure you can stipulate no perfume.
I think people who are not scent sensitive have no idea how much people who are can be bothered by perfume. It is a huge migraine trigger for me.

ToddlerMumAddictedtoCoffeee · 15/04/2026 15:09

TheBlueKoala · 15/04/2026 15:06

Maybe she's trying to cover up the smell of alcohol/cigarettes? Thinking of my teenage years here😅.
YANBU- not pregnant but I hate the smell of perfume when it's too much.

The thought of that makes it 100 times worse 😅

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 15/04/2026 15:09

I'm a nanny and have been asked to not wear perfume (I normally don't when working with under ones because no one wants their baby smelling like Byredo's bibliotheque when they snuggle down for bedtime cuddles...) and have absolutely no problem with it. I do think there is a difference between an office environment and not wanting your kids to smell of their caregiver. If I'm going out after work then I just apply it when I've left.

There's the obvious "I'm pregnant and super sensitive to smells" but if you don't want to tell her you're pregnant yet then I would just politely ask if she would mind wearing less/none as you'd rather not have loads of fragrance around the kids.

changenameagain555 · 15/04/2026 15:09

Beenwhereyouareagain · 15/04/2026 13:33

Someone told me rubbing alcohol on the oversprayed areas removes the scent. It worked for me.

Show quote history

Coconut oil also works!

ToddlerMumAddictedtoCoffeee · 15/04/2026 15:08

I have a nanny and it was one of the first things I specified when she started (as she came to the job interview smelling very nice but a bit strong). Perfume is actually really bad for us and especially young children.

TheBlueKoala · 15/04/2026 15:06

Maybe she's trying to cover up the smell of alcohol/cigarettes? Thinking of my teenage years here😅.
YANBU- not pregnant but I hate the smell of perfume when it's too much.

SonnyHoney · 15/04/2026 15:04

I don't think it's unreasonable at all; however, I only wear perfume probably about five times a year because I think it's disastrous for your health. I really regret wearing perfume when I was pregnant and when my children were young.

OneNaiceSnail · 15/04/2026 14:12

I’m surprised at the previous comments. I guess you could blame the pregnancy, but I wouldn’t consider someone wearing perfume to be something you could complain about.

sillysmiles · 15/04/2026 14:10

Just make sure you say it in person and not by txt message.

Justdancinginthedark · 15/04/2026 14:07

One of the children in my class does not like unfamiliar or strong smells so we don't were perfume to school.

CelestialCandyfloss · 15/04/2026 14:03

I get asthma and when I went on holiday with my parents my Dad's strong after shave / deodorant was triggering my breathing- he just used a different one. Just say something along those lines, that although you love the smell it's triggering an allergy.