AIBU to plan a big party for a 69th?

56 replies

Mementodishwasher · 15/04/2026 08:56

I would love to throw my mum a big party at some point because she loves socialising and dancing. I am painfully aware that she won't be around forever and I worry about the prospect of waiting for a big birthday and then her not making it. She is only 68 but we've had a few deaths in the family so maybe I'm overly worried about this.

This year she turns 69 and I'm in the position where I have the time and money to plan a party.

AIBU is: is it weird to throw a big, e.g surprise party with DJ etc, for not a "big" birthday? People would probably assume it was her 70th - would you be embarrassed/offended if you were in her position? Or bemused/ unenthusiastic about travelling a long way to attend a 69th (not that i would advertise her age as she doesn't openly discuss it)?

YABU - too weird, wait til 70
YANBU - throw a 69th

Thanks!

OP posts:

BrucesBarAndGrill · 15/04/2026 09:01

NerrSnerr · 15/04/2026 08:59

When she asks why you’ve done it for her 69th will she be upset if you tell her the truth?

Maybe say its more of a surprise for a 69th than a 70th?

Jemimapony · 15/04/2026 09:00

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Listlostlast · 15/04/2026 08:59

If you want to have a party, have one, but yea, I wouldn’t be surprised if people don’t put the store by it that they would a 70th. Also, and this is possibly a bit silly, I’d think a 69th party would be hinting towards some sort of weird gimmicky sexual joke 😂 just because it’s so unusual to have a big party for that particular age!

NerrSnerr · 15/04/2026 08:59

When she asks why you’ve done it for her 69th will she be upset if you tell her the truth?

Freysimo · 15/04/2026 08:59

Wait until mum is 70, it's really not old nowadays.

Jemimapony · 15/04/2026 08:58

Well you have a very obvious theme!! 😆

go for it. Can’t fathom asking mumsnet this kind of thing tbh

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