Sharing plates

YANBU op. I HATE sharing plates. They would be one of my room 101 things. People in our family hate them too. Maybe it’s a working class thing? I want my own allocated food, on my own plate. Sod off with your ‘sharing’ bollocks. I have strict dietary requirements too so I don't want any of your order… I just want my own!!! 😫

Well it's obvious to everyone but you from the sound of it?

I think it’s a ‘you’ problem. Surely when the food is brought over, you just say “yes that’s mine thanks” .. or you just pick up your plate of food from the middle and put it in front of you. Genuinely confused as to why you’re having difficulty in getting your own meal. I have never had this issue, ever. If plates are put in the middle, we all just take our respective meals 🤦‍♀️😵‍💫😵‍💫

No, she's supposed to act like a mature adult.

Tell them she's ordering for herself and tell the waiting staff too.

If her friends are all sharing their food, why on earth would they care what the OP does?

This is on HER, it's not on the restaurant, the waiting staff, her friends or anything else she wants to blame so she doesn't have to take personal responsibility.

It's the insistence that this is some new phenomenon that she's observed but then only goes on to mention cuisines that are traditionally shared that has people unsure what she is grumbling about.

And the fact that there is no reason to tell her friends to go fuck themselves when there are plenty of opportunities at the restaurant to politely say you prefer not to share.

What difference does that make?

I don’t understand why people are being so chippj with the OP. She doesn’t like sharing. What’s she supposed to do, tell her friends to go fuck herself next time they invite her out? It’s clearly just a grumble

I don't disagree, sometimes I love a sharing platter or sharing courses - and with certain friends it works out brilliantly. But I am more and more thinking I just want my own meal that I've ordered and I'll eat it (though I might let someone have a taste if they are polite about it.)

And also I don't always want a mishmash of thngs being laid out on the table in any order.

Don't you chat before you order, if we go somewhere with sharing plates option we say shall we share or order for ourselves. This hasn't ever been a problem for me. When they bring the food I would indicate it's mine or take it and put it in front of me. Maybe speak up a bit more.

You said it happened once so why are you extrapolating?

Use your words and make clear to the group that you wish to have your own dish and then be aware when the food arrives (instead of deep in conversation) and speak up and say "Oh yeah, that's mine, thanks".

Middle Eastern food has always been for sharing! Are you ordering a whole bowl
of tabbouleh for yourself?

My only gripe with sharing plates is if they come one at a time. I will typically discuss with my dining companions all the dishes we fancy and order a balanced meal of things that go together. It’s therefore annoying to all have a bit of fish, then five mins later some veg, ten mins after that a carb…

And does the Middle Eastern restaurant render you mute as soon as you enter?

Quite why you can't just tell the waiting staff 'Oh that's mine, thanks' is beyond me.

Ditto telling your companions you've ordered for yourself.

Of course you can name a restaurant you've visited. Someone else already has.

Would Middle Eastern good not also traditionally be shared? I would have expected it to. Or at least definitely not been in the least surprised by.

Same in every restaurant I've ever eaten in.

And if I see them hovering, I raise my hand very slightly and say "Oh that's my one, thanks".

I really don't know what makes the OP and her experience so different from everyone else's.

I get this happens in say a tapas place but I've never ordered a main meal and had them put it in the middle of the table, they always say what the dish is and whoever ordered it claims it

I think you need evidence of more than one restaurant doing it before you can claim it's widespread practice.

I'd be happy if it was becoming more widespread. I love getting to try the variety. Never seen it outside a tapas/meze/dim sum place though.

Even if I tell the waiter/waitress I’m ordering for myself, it gets placed in the centre of the table for everyone. Recently I didn’t even get to try what I’d ordered as I was in conversation and when I looked down it was gone! In one restaurant i had to ask for extra cutlery so the person with a cold wasn’t sticking his fork in..

This is just too weird.

When the waiting staff come over "Oh no, that's mine thanks".

How did you look down and it was gone if you'd told the people you were dining with, you were ordering for yourself?

It sounds like you're making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill.

That's a you problem.

So basically you are saying "all restaurants do this" when actually it's one restaurant that did this when you were out with a rude couple and you didn't assert yourself when they started being cheeky fuckers.

YABU.

I hate sharing plates or small plate restaurants. I want my own food on my own plate.

I have to confess, I love sharing plates. It's my favourite way to eat. It's sociable and varied and you get to try things you might not have ordered otherwise.