Feel like I wasted my life

I’m so sorry you feel like that. I think a lot of people do. Certainly, I envy people who don’t.

I have similar feelings.

I met my first boyfriend just before I started 6th form. I had a gap year planned, and I had applied to lots of great unis, including Durham and one in Scotland.

in the end, due to pressure from this boyfriend, I turned down Durham and the Scottish uni and went to my local ex-poly, and stayed living at home.

I missed out on the uni experience of moving away. I got a very sub standard degree. Many of my friends moved away for uni and we lost touch (late 90s, before mobiles and social media) and my boyfriend caused me to fall out with those friends who did stay local. People at my uni were all staying at home and kept their school friends so I had no opportunities to make new friends.

eventually I was isolated and completely dependant on him….and he was cheating on me the whole time. He also made me so insecure that I got plastic surgery to please him, which I have always regretted.

so I can relate.

the trajectory of my life would have been so different if I hadn’t met him.

it does make me sad, but things could be much worse, and they could be for you too, so just try and focus on the positives.

Firstly, well done on getting out of a bad relationship. Some people never do that and accept that, that is their life now. You haven't done that and have already started to build up a new life for yourself - which is amazing! You can do whatever you want to do. Remember you are the youngest today that you will ever be. Start planning and enjoy the process. Go to university if that's what you want to do. You have soo many working years left in your life so do what you enjoy and just go for it! 🙂

Op imagine you spend 4 years retraining and getting a degree. In 4 years you’ll be 40. If you do it you’ll be 40 with a degree and potentially your dream job. If you don’t do it you’ll still be 40. You’ve still got most of your working life ahead of you. My mum divorced my abusive dad in her early 50’s, trained as a nurse which she wanted to do when she was 16 but got pregnant with my sister, and is now in her late 60’s working as a head nurse in an outpatient clinic responsible for won’t a dozen staff. You can do it

I’m an academic and every year I have a scattering of excellent, committed, motivated mature students, often older than you.

Of course you can go to university. I went when I was 31 and there were loads of older people there. Alternatively, you could do agree with the OU which is designed for people already in work. Getting a degree was life changing for me. Good luck - go for it.

You've had a really tough time and you've dug (are digging) yourself out of it. That takes guts and huge huge effort. Give yourself some credit 🌷

Honestly 36 is really young. Im 58 and one of the things I love about being older is how your perspective shifts. I can see myself at all the ages I have been (so far), whereas when youre younger it's hard to see your future ages.

And you've got 32 years until retirement - that's nearly as long as you've been alive - so plenty of time.

Why not speak to a careers adviser and see what they advise re: training options. There are pharmacy apprenticeships these days, that might be a good route for you.

I don’t think university would be the answer to this. I think you need to dedicate some years to settling and finding a life that you love rather than piling on pressure again.

you were unlucky, and your life has looked different to people who had it easier. We all have different lives but our emotional state is the mos important factor in feeling happy, or satisfied, with our life.

how long have you been in recovery from psychosis? Do you have ongoing support??

Another who went to University when I was around your age, OP. You're still a young woman.

Why can't you go to university? I did it as a mature student. Finished my degree at 38 and have a career I absolutely love. Sure, people on my course were much younger than me but I am there to learn, not do a pub crawl. Had the best years of my life at uni.
They also have excellent wellbeing services for students and will make reasonable adjustments so that you feel supported.
I'd seriously look into it.
ETA: I also learned to drive at 39 and found my current partner at 42. I am clearly a late bloomer.
Your life isn't over until it's over.

You are definitely not to old to study for a degree or change career. I have a couple of friends who went to university in their 40s and they were not the oldest on their courses. They were also very motivated students. You have been through a lot but come out the other side. Don't waste more years thinking about what you haven't done, start to plan what you're going to do next.

I’m 59, I still have plenty of life left, you don’t have to be young to be fulfilled and happy. My SIL and my best friend both went to uni in their 40’s and met some great friends and neither ever felt awkward or out of place, loads of people do it. You really haven’t wasted your life, please don’t feel that way. Get on the internet and make some plans, you’re not too old.

Firstly, your life isn't over, and you're still young, so you haven't wasted anything. Secondly, I got out of an abusive marriage and went to university when I was older than you, and there were at least three people on my course the same age or older. You would need to look for a university that expresses pride in its catering for mature students; we all tend to gravitate towards them.

You're free now and can be anything you like. Enjoy the adventure.