AIBU to wonder why some unfaithful men change later in life?

I think you're kidding yourself

I would say emotional maturity.

It’s not a popular view but I think people change over time. When you hit age milestones you reflect on what’s important. I’m also inclined to say the opportunities for sex are probably fewer and more far between when you’re in your 50s.

My partner was like this with his first ex and his ex wife. With his first ex he used to visit brothels, disappear on lads holidays, stay out for days. Had numerous affairs with her friends etc. Wasn’t around for the kids. They split up (she cheated in the end).. He then met and married his ex wife. No kids but more of the same. We’ve been together on and off for years (during breaks from partners when younger). Solidly together for 9 years and have a child. He’s never stepped out of line. No disappearing out with his mates, sneaking about nothing. He helps with our son and is very present (like under my bloody feet present!). Both these exes absolutely hate me for it!!! Have asked why he’s so different with me. He told them honestly he never felt settled with them or as close to them!! And we can be swinging from chandeliers occasionally so it’s nothing to do with a dwindling sex drive. Don’t get me wrong, things aren’t perfect. But he’s like a different man with me and our family. I just think when someone’s genuinely happy they are happy. Now, to find ways to make him bugger off on a lads jolly to give me some peace!!! lol!!!

My partner was like this with his first ex and his ex wife. With his first ex he used to visit brothels, disappear on lads holidays, stay out for days. Had numerous affairs with her friends etc. Wasn’t around for the kids. They split up (she cheated in the end).. He then met and married his ex wife. No kids but more of the same. We’ve been together on and off for years (during breaks from partners when younger). Solidly together for 9 years and have a child. He’s never stepped out of line. No disappearing out with his mates, sneaking about nothing. He helps with our son and is very present (like under my bloody feet present!). Both these exes absolutely hate me for it!!! Have asked why he’s so different with me. He told them honestly he never felt settled with them or as close to them!! And we can be swinging from chandeliers occasionally so it’s nothing to do with a dwindling sex drive. Don’t get me wrong, things aren’t perfect. But he’s like a different man with me and our family. I just think when someone’s genuinely happy they are happy. Now, to find ways to make him bugger off on a lads jolly to give me some peace!!! lol!!!

They aren't as attractive to young women anymore.
Young women aren't attracted to them.
They don't cheat because they can't.
They would if they could.

Well, 50% of men in their 50s have erection problems, and and many do nothing about it. I think that explains it.

Perhaps they are still cheating? How do you know they aren't?

They just get lazy & insular

Lower T levels as stated by PP.

T is such a driver that it trumps logic and common sense in younger men (higher levels).

Or necessity .

It’s this.

They don’t change OP. It’s just that no one else will have them.

They see that they have some to look after them and no way they are going to meet anyone else to put up with their rubbish behaviour. A selfish leopard doesn’t change its spots it just loses testosterone.

They don't become that. As previous posters noted, they run out of steam, realise their options are limited and make the best of what they've got.

I snorted at this

Yes they do mature more slowly but really, do they only reach full maturity at 60 😂😂

Cognitive dissonance. Humans are really good at it.

They do what a lot of people do. They psychologically rewrite history. And so do their wives.

I think it’s that their first wife they have all the life problems with, so exhausted from work, young kids, money issues etc so they’re not having sex a lot and they’re assholes so they cheat (well they are and they do!!!). Next wife/ partner, honeymoon period and they have more sex than he did with first, no young kids so less exhausted, they can do the crazy ex thing (oh she’s so naggy, so crazy) and the new wife is saying oh my poor you and he gets his ego massaged and thinks oh this is good, plus he’s aging so he goes ok, I’ll bank this one just in case.

They don't change.

They just either don't have the opportunity to cheat because no one else is interested in them, or they are still cheating, but just got better at covering it up.

Your talking about maturity in men...im 57 and mentally I'm still 10

Either it's because they have a younger partner who still feeds their ego..look at me I'm 65 but my partner is only 45

Or they lose their looks/charm/money/have too much baggage and no longer attract women like they did

And women get wiser as they get older. Where a 45 year old man may have attracted a 30 year old woman. A 45 year old woman isn't going to fall for the bull shit

I'm male btw

They grow old and saggy and testosterone drops and they become a less attractive bagpuss, like the redundant alley cats they are.

They are no longer attractive to young women