AIBU to worry my daughter is getting engaged too soon?

London would be a better place to find a job even if it's not a high flying one. You seem a bit vague about whether they plan to move in together. Like others I think getting engaged isn't getting married. She could move down to London and live with him while applying for jobs there. I'd just be happy and supportive for now and see where it goes.

Not her choice is it? It's her daughters life.

Yes 😊 we are still happily married. Marrying early isn't too unusual in my religion (LDS)

I'm Civil Service and my understanding is they move you all over the country in the fast stream - might be different on certain streams I guess.
Definitely be positive - if she changes her mind she won't want to hear 'I told you so' if you let her know you have concerns

I saw her fiance is on CS fast stream - is this the one where he has to move every year through the program?
I would suggest you are very positive when you talk to her - but suggest that they wait until he has finished the fast stream and has his permanent job before they tie the knot.
Would also suggest you encourage her to live with him - if they are engaged he should be supporting her (not in a mysogynist way - if she was working and he wasn't then she should be supporting him) - that's what marriage is - also good to check they are still compatable when it comes to splitting housework, budgeting and putting each other first.

What the OP wants is irrelevant. Her daughter is an adult and capable of making her own decisions.

It is quite young to be getting married, of course, but engaged isn’t married. I expect there’ll be at least a year before they get married, if not longer, and with any luck, she’ll be more established by then.
All you can do is celebrate with her and try not to show her you have these feelings. It won’t go well for you!

Lunch and discussions what next plans are

he’ll be very able then and probably a future high earner, sounds like a good catch!

yes fair point but hopefully she can reassure you on this point if she has her head screwed on. She has plenty of time to figure stuff out .

Hopefully it will work out for her. I do have a couple of friends who married young and it didn’t work out however they have no regrets, learnt from their experiences and things worked out great for both of them long term.

Ah OP I could write you a list of happily married people who got married young. I got engaged at 22 fresh out of uni. Had to wait a month for my engagement ring from my husbands first pay packet after graduation. We had nothing but we were supported by both families and never looked back. I am 47 now. My niece did the same near 20 years later and I noticed a lot of comments about how young she was. It made me sad as they are a great couple and now three gorgeous kids.

argh that is really a tough one

Maybe celebrate the engagement, no need to rush the wedding; bit of saving to do, a long engagement. A wedding isnt a band aid; yes the relationship is good but getting married because "hes the only good thing" feels like a poor reason.

They don’t even live together so it does seem soon to get engaged. My guess is that they’ll stay as they are and won’t plan a wedding for at least 5 years when they’re living together and have decent jobs.

I was engaged at 19 - didn’t work out
2nd time at 23 - didn’t work out
3rd time at 25 - married him - 2 DC later didn’t work out
4th time at 35 - never got married - we are still good friends and a bit more 25 years later
It’s an engagement not an end to her life, career, hopes and dreams!

Yes, and they don’t seem to understand that this is exactly what the OP doesn’t want, her daughter tied down to the same guy for the next 30 or 40 years at 22!

Because we actually exist. Engaged amd married young. Had a baby 1 year later, Now 55 with 2 grandchildren. Plus a £150k plus income and absolutely fantastic life. Getting engaged young doesn’t lobotomise you.

My 22 year old daughter got engaged last month, her fiance is 24. They have booked their wedding for 2028.
I have no concerns at all, quite the opposite - I'm incredibly happy.
This man is a walking green flag - and she knows it having been in a terrible relationship previously.
That said, after her masters she landed her dream job and her fiance has a good job so they have been living together for the last 9 months or so.
She isn't choosing marriage/family over career - there is a five year plan where she focuses on career for the next 5 years and then they consider kids.

There’s a bit of a difference between getting engaged and actually getting married

I’d take her out to lunch and have a chat about being happy for her but no need to rush anything. At the very least it sounds like she doesn’t have the means to get married. Don’t volunteer to pay for it! Does her fiance have a job?

Not too young at all. I was engaged and married within 2 years. Both of us were 23. We got engaged when my husband was in his final year of uni and got married 2 days after he graduated. Been together 39 years.

Did it last?

I understand where you're coming from OP and I'd have the same worries. But we can't live our children's lives for them.

Could you ask her about what she is hoping life will look like in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, and beyond? What her hopes and wishes are, ambitions for herself, etc. Where her future husband fits in to all of this as well. She might surprise you with her stance and reassure you or it might plant seeds that this isn't want she wants. I'd avoid telling her what you think her future will look like though as that's the quickest way to get her back up and shut you out.