AIBU to feel hurt when my husband accepts invitations excluding me?

Yeah he's one of the couples but also "enjoying the single life " ?

Well yes it is a discussion for their marriage.

But if you think OP's suspicion about this dinner date is " strange" I think you are dismissing the background to her H's friendship with this person who set up the date up. She has every reason to be on the alert given the friends lack of respect for marriage.

@Heartford B wants your DH to follow what he did- he's trying to set him up with someone. My DH often see single friends but he wouldn't accept if I wasn't invited and it was a couple thing.

His wife is not happy about him being coupled with another woman.

HE IS NOT BEING COUPLED WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

It is perfectly possible that they could spend most of the evening speaking to other guests and not exchanging more than basic civilities with each other.

Well, it's a discussion for their marriage, I suppose, people can draw the boundaries wherever they like, but it seemed a bit strange to me. I don't know that people are being "coupled" at a dinner party so much as invited to socialise in a group, and I would imagine the woman in question sees it the same way. I would in her position.

The point is that OP's H is not a single man. His wife has been excluded from the invitation. His wife is not happy about him being coupled with another woman.

If he was being coupled with another woman with OP's blessing then that would be a different story. But the OP sees it as breaking a boundary in their marriage .She does not see her H being cast in the role of another woman's dinner partner, as acceptable in their marriage. She sees it as a form of date, and I agree with her.

Do you really want to remain married to this lazy selfish waster that doesn't pull his weight and likes to socialise like a single man?

He has not been "invited to couple", whatever that means. He has been invited to a dinner party as himself (a friend of the host). The single woman has been invited separately, as herself (also a friend of the host). They are not required to "couple" in any sense of the word. Have you never hosted, or been a guest at, a dinner party which includes both married people and single people? The latter are not there to make up "couple" numbers, they are there because their company is valued for themselves.

The OP has not been invited because she doesn't like the host and he knows that. Why on earth would he invite someone who doesn't like him?

OP is not invited to this dinner.
Her H has been invited to " couple" with another woman. How is that not setting him up with a date?

Is it "being set up on a dinner date", or is it a man getting a group of friends together for dinner, one of whom happens to be single? What if they're all just sitting around a table together eating and drinking, as per most dinner parties?

When I was single, I'd have been mortified to think that if I was invited to socialise with some couples, it was as a 'date' for a married man whose wife wasn't attending. I wasn't looking to sleep with married men. It's perfectly possible to invite single women to social gatherings because you enjoy their company.

I guess if this woman has form for sleeping with married men or you suspect your husband has a crush on her, that's different, but from what I've read perhaps she's just part of a group of friends, who don't exclude her from gatherings because she happens to be single. It's hard enough being single without being excluded from social gatherings because some women are so jealous and/or men so untrustworthy that if you have a conversation with a married man at a dinner party, it's assumed you're going to jump into bed with him.

He is not being set up with a dinner date. FGS do you people not understand that sex and relationships are not the be all and end all of everyone's lives and motivations.

Who is assuming her H is going to have sex with his date?
The fact he is a married man being set up with a dinner date is a betrayal of his marriage without them necessarily having sex.

Wow, nice to know that everyone assumes a (gasp) single woman attending a dinner party must be gagging to sleep with some random married mate of the host?

DH 'excluded' me from mixed gatherings. It turned out he had regularly taken another single woman, including using in our car without my knowledge. On several occasions I said I was going but was forcefully told I would not like it or I would not be welcome.

He was having an affair.

No way would I be happy in this situation. Mixed company dinner parties and you are not included! You are his wife, you go to gatherings where other wives/partners are included. Your DH is 'on a date' with the +one otherwise and that is not acceptable.

Tell DH he is known by the company he keeps.

And it still makes no difference because inviting a single person to a dinner party does not mean you're trying to set them up with any other single person you invite, let alone a married person whose spouse isn't present.

Nobody has to be either, but saying ‘you don’t mind’ sounds like you are graciously allowing it.

You realise that there are lots of things people don't mind and do mind about their partners and that is ok. It doesn't mean you are being controlling. If they push you too far it is fine to say actually I really do mind about that. There is a lot of room between being a total wet blanket and being an insecure control freak.

Of course his response could be ‘it’s my decision who I am friends with and I don’t need your blessing or permission. As for getting upset, I have noted that. Anyway I’m off to see Chuck’

Actually, you would have lost him at ‘not minding him being friends with’.

Given how many people on MN go through their spouse’s phones, decide they are having an affair because they once spoke to a woman they worked with etc, why would anyone in that situation stay married?

If you think you can stop your partner cheating… you can’t.

But if you are so insecure that you feel the need to control someone - what is the point?

I don't think saying something like "Hey DH, I don't mind that you are friends with Chuck the cheater, but I do get a bit upset when Chuck seems to be setting you up with another woman." makes OP an untrusting control freak who should divorce her poor shackled husband.

You can't just get divorced because one or other of you isn't perfect! No one would be married if that was the case.

If he had any sense after seeing this thread he would be packing the OP’s bags…

Can you not read? There are not three singles, she has said the host is part of one of the couples and her DH and the single women make up the last couple ..

Read it again. You are wrong

Because OP has clarified that the host is part of the 3 couples so only DH and the other lady are non couples