AIBU to feel hurt when my husband accepts invitations excluding me?

I could understand B inviting DH to a lads evening.

But a couples dinner with DH and a single woman is inappropriate.

And hurtful that DH cant see that, how would he feel if Bs wife had a couples party for you and one single man?

I think you should tell DH you expect him to turn down "couples" events where you arent welcome. And tell him he shouldnt need that sketched in crayon for him YANBU

Actually I agree with this. Perhaps they will both be happier apart.

Although how you would stop a grown adult doing what they want boggles the mind

I treat my friends how they treat me.

We are reducing it to shagging because that’s part of the issue. OP hates the friend because he shagged someone else and now doesn’t trust her husband not to shag some randomer

Well you obviously have no moral scruples about who you call your friends. Fair enough. Other people do
Why you and other like minded pp keep reducing this whole issue to shagging is really strange.

Both of these. I cant believe what I'm reading. Its fairly obvious to me that the OP has a DH problem. This has nothing to do with single women and whether or not they can be invited to dinner parties and it not be a set up.

I'm sorry, call me old fashioned but my DH is not heading out to a couples dinner without me while I stay at home with the kids again. In my opinion this friend is trying to drive a wedge and possibly the husband is having his head turned by his friends new life. In that case OP you are well rid. It sounds like your life might be easier without DH in it.

You need to seek counsel from a divorce law specialist. You need to know your rights. You also need to start paying attention to the finances very, very closely. Make sure you know where every pound is. Open a separate account in your name at a different bank. Check to see if he has opened a new credit card. You need to get your ducks in a row. If this behavior continues he will be off effing some random broad in London and lying about it. Do not be unprepared.

So she can see the wife and he can see the husband. It’s called freedom.

I don’t get why it is assumed that people in a good relationship won’t be able to resist shagging someone else.

Of course he can be friends with whoever he likes.

And equally OP is entitled to dislike his choice of friends. Perhaps you missed the fact she is on close terms with this friend's wife and children so has seen at first hand the damage his behaviour did.

Of course OP can't stop him socialising with this man But i'm a great believer that you can tell who a person is by the friends they choose to mix with. And OP,'s H chise to condone his friends cheating and is now socialising with him in single life style. OP would be a fool not to be uncomfortable with her H's choices. But whether amshe choses to sit at home while he makes a fool of her, is up to her.

It’s nice that you are so invested in my opinion that you have taken the time to bring your interest to my attention. Always nice to be appreciated. 🤣

You seem overly invested in being 'a cool wife' and criticism anyone who says they can see why OP would not be comfortable about this.

And you seem to have spent all day doing so!

Problem?

Have you asked him how he’d feel if the roles were reversed? You were going for dinner with three couples and a single man, in exactly the same circumstances?

Oh you again.

She isn’t though.

You are being intentionally obtuse.

Loyalty in a marriage is not this, sounds more like ownership to me. Marriage hasn't been about ownership for decades.

Presumably he’s a good friend and the OP has made it very clear that she is judging him.

As for loyalty, that doesn’t mean blind obedience. The husband is free to go where he wants. Perhaps the OP would have been invited if she didn’t make her disgust at his actions so obvious. She is of course entitled to do that but then she can’t complain when her husband wants to continue to visit said friend and she can’t choose who else will be there.

He can be friends with whoever he wants and the only thing the OP has done is ensured she won’t be invited at any point.

him being another woman's dinner date was disrespectful to her.

Attending a dinner party along with several other people doesn't make you someone's 'dinner date'.

Attending a dinner party along with several other people doesn't mean you are 'pairing up' with one of the guests.

If he'd personally invited the woman to dinner 1:1 that might count as a dinner date - but equally it might not, if the purpose was a business discussion.

Do you not understand about loyalty in a marriage? If her H cared about OP he would understand that him being another woman's dinner date was disrespectful to her.

He has made it very clear by condoning his friends adultery that he doesn't have respect for marriage. And by prioritising his social life with his friend, which involves pairing up with another woman, he is showing OP how little he cares about her or his own marriage.

She goes if she is invited. Of course he won’t invite her because shes made it clear she doesn’t like what he’s done.

So is he on a date because they will both be present?

Do you or your partner fuck everyone you come into contact with when you go out either each other? That must be exhausting 🤣

But his motives are irrelevant.The OP has made it clear she doesn’t want to speak to him so why would he invite her?

And he could throw a load of woman at the husband but if he loves the OP it won’t matter

As has been explained multiple times, we are questioning the motives of THIS man who has excluded OP because of her friendship with his ex and invited a single woman to make up the 8th guest at a party. Generally it’s poor etiquette to exclude a spouse.

It has no bearing on single women being invited to dinner parties, that was me for a good few years.

Well, that's the implication, surely? What else would the OP be worried about? That her husband speaks with another woman at a dinner party and that's it?

a single woman attending a dinner party must be gagging to sleep with some random married mate of the host?

Can you quote even one person who has said this?

Isn't it?! Just another way in which society vilifies single women (most of whom, at this age, are gloriously happy to be single and not desirous of your middle aged husbands in the slightest...)