AIBU to feel hurt when my husband accepts invitations excluding me?

Fine for DH to stay in touch with B and socialise with him without you there. Not fine for him at all to attend a couples dinner party without you there - that's weird.

You made your feelings about him clear so why would he invite you anywhere? You chose to cut him off and that’s fine but it’s not compulsory.

I have a very small circle of friends, it takes a lot for me to trust people. If one of them cheated on their spouse, then that’s up to them.

Your DH shouldn’t have to cut his friend off because you have moral objections.

As for inviting another woman, it’s possible the friend is doing that to wind you up but if you trust your husband then it wouldn’t matter.

I’m with you. This recent invite is really odd.

You need to go out with your friends, or even alone, and leave your thoughtless husband to look after his kids. You are being used, you know. And he should not be "partnering" with any single women. You are right to be pissed off/concerned.

Did you miss the bit where the loser friend cheated on his wife? In my world it wouldn’t be pearl clutching, my DH and I would be more likely to clutch the friend by the balls and twist them until he squealed, metaphorically speaking.

I agree! I’d not be happy at all - it‘s such a strange set up & no idea why your DH is going along with it?!!

This seals it for me. Guests 1-6 are 3 couples. Guest 7 is your DP. Guest 8 is a single lady.
sorry your DP should decline in this scenario.

My thoughts exactly! Also bold to assume the woman would find the husband attractive!

Based on most MN husbands, why would any self respecting woman want one of them 😂

If you don't trust your husband @Heartford leave him.

Don't you know Single Women are all predators out to steal husbands (and only husbands) no matter whether they work with them, share a hobby with them or are part of a friend group that includes them.....

Well, yes, reading threads on Mumsnet it seems that many women see Single Women only as objects to be shagged. See the post on this thread at 21.55. Single Women should all just stay at home in case venturing out into the workplace or somewhere requires them to interact with someone's husband.
Signed, A Single Woman who has never had the least interest in behaving inappropriately with someone else's husband. Unless having an occasional coffee counts.

This. I would not be happy and tbh my dh would not go

Don't you know Single Women are all predators out to steal husbands (and only husbands) no matter whether they work with them, share a hobby with them or are part of a friend group that includes them. Even sitting beside one and chatting on a plane is a Single Woman - whether she is actually single or not - predator ready to steal the unwitting husband.

The next one is 3 couples plus DH and a single woman.

Is your DH's friend part of one of those 3 couples....leaving your DH and this woman as guests number 7/8?

I also think I’d be pretty disappointed in my husband if he stood by his friend after he’d behaved like B to be honest.

Exactly. The single woman may be a lesbian for all @Heartford knows.

YABU @Heartford Your husband remained friends with both his best friend and his ex wife. You don't like his best friend, inviting you would be inappropriate and uncomfortable for everyone. You don't get to dictate your husband's friendships, assuming he hasn't had multiple affairs or goes to a strip club every time he visits his friend.

I’m not sure I see the issue, the fact a single woman is there, is this the issue, you think he’s trying to set him up and your husband given half a chance will shag her? Not that b invited her as he’s interested in her?

if you don’t think your husband will shag her assuming he finds her attractive, then I can’t see the issue, it’s not just him and her, he’s allowed to have friends and you can’t ban him from not seeing this guy as you disapprove of how the marriage ended or you can’t trust him round single women.

‘and if you feel single women are such a threat, then honestly deal with that.

I’m in two minds.
I don’t think you need to be invited to everything your dh is and the two of you can have separate friend groups.
However, the specific invite you mentioned where it would all couples apart your dh and a single woman would make me very uncomfortable, especially given his friend’s history.

Exactly. As in all those threads by posters who say their friends stopped inviting them to things as soon as they were divorced or widowed?

I think you need to question yourself on whether you trust your husband or not. The single woman has likely been invited because B fancies her.

Yes really. I don’t always socialise with my husband and sometimes I might spend time with other men. It’s not scandalous, it’s adults who trust each other. Sometimes a friends’ partner will be there and mine won’t or a single male friend.

I really really don’t get the issue.

I wouldn’t expect my DH to end the friendship and would be ok about them meeting up together or with other friends (where partners were also not present).

Where I would draw a hard line is DH going to a couples event from which I was excluded (irrespective of whether I wanted to attend or not) and especially so when it appears a “date” is being laid on for him.

This is because the later crosses a big fat red line for me in terms of how my DH respects me in our relationship rather than being about how his friend chooses to conduct himself.

All that said it’s a very unlikely scenario as DH would far more likely have ditched the friendship in support of his ex (having done so in the past in a similar situation and we are still good friends with the wife and now her new lovely partner).

Weird everyone is saying the single woman is for your husband? Surely she's for B?

Why must she be 'for' anyone? Single women exist as people in their own right, they are not just there to be appendages to men.

The pearl clutchers are really out today! Heaven forbid unrelated men and women sit at the same table 😂

Look if it were multiple events I would say you have a DH problem.

But you’ve pissed off his friend who obviously doesn’t want you there. Your DH probably wants to avoid drama and isn’t going to advocate for you going either. You chose your side.

@Waftaround Going to after work drinks, maybe, but a dinner party with other women? Really? That’s not acceptable.