To say we cant take his child full time?

Benefits / rent (subsidised by housing benefit because it’s a council house) will be based on occupants of the house. The DP is not declared as living there. It’s fraud.

You’re so wrong, I have no idea how you have the front to state that confidently.

They're probably claiming UC, albeit not necessarily the housing element since the rent will be low, but the stuff about not declaring DP living there to claim as a single parent was completely invented. Plus none of the posters suggesting it show any indication that they understand how social housing tenancies actually work.

He has just as much right to live there as any of your own children. Why don't you kick one out to make room for him? (Or can see how unreasonable it is for a parent to refuse to house their child when they're yours?)

@DuvetInTheDaytime I suppose it is doable if you have a bed settee in the lounge.

Little one in the smallest room two eldest in next room and three other boys in largest room.

You could get a caravan as an additional bedroom i know of someone who did that for older teens.

But i do not see that you have any obligations, and it is possible that DSS would not like your rules either and return to his mums, not uncommon with teens with separated parents.

In addition it will not be that many years before the eldest 2 fly the nest.

So’s it not as permanent as it might seem.

if your OH is not pulling his weight already (which sounds likely from what you say you need to address that anyway.

Ignore all the pompous judgements and assumptions made about your private business. Some of it is about well off people who are divorced and in second marriages “projecting” on to you.

others just think that lots of people are just scrounges, and jump to ill informed conclusions.

Do not under any circumstances give up or share your tenancy.

I would like to imagine that although you household may be noisy and chaotic that love also lives with you all.

hope you find a solution.

the rent she pays the council will be based on occupancy of the house and income of its tenants.

Six kids and a three-bedroom house....yeah, makes sense. That means six kids are sharing between TWO bedrooms.

They will likely carry on and have more.

Says you based on no knowledge or data whatsoever

Tell DP he needs to cook and clean and pay for food for all 5 kids.

Hoe oh earth have you come to the (wrong) conclusion that there's benefit fraud?

When my now ex moved in with me we never got around to putting him on the tenancy. We did however, notify the benefit officeso no fraud was committed. Private rent, not council house but i don't think that makes any difference. I have to admit it made him leaving much easier.

It’s unlikely a couple living in a 3 bed council house in a deprived city with six kids between them aren’t claiming UC.

Discrimination against council tenants

This is why I would never put my children through the whole blended family thing. It’s easier just to be single.

I think the lack of sense in this thought demonstrates how irrelevant it was tbh

we knew from the start they were overcrowded. The fact that some children were joint and younger just allowed posters to attack her with glee

How is it discrimination? Who attached a protected characteristic of the OP’s? Or anything even approaching one?

Being stupid isn’t a protected characteristic.

This. What a mess. You cannot think this living situation is suitable for your children as it is. Does he work?

Could be! I mean, I don’t know, but it just jumped out, the youngest being a girl.

I agree.

Despite everything that’s been said, and I agree with and have contributed to, by way of criticism, you need a plan going forward.

I can see two possibilities-

1. DP sorts a property that’s big enough for you all, including his eldest son. What does he do for work? Can he rent a bigger house for you all, even in a different area? Best solution but possibly not workable?
2. You apply for a bigger house - I’m assuming you’ve tried this already?
3. DP moves out again with his DS. More feasible, I’d imagine, and this must have been the situation before a year ago? That means that your DD can stay in the room with you a bit longer and eases the overcrowding a bit.

Why did he move in at the specific point he did?

it will just work out’ made me think of this.

none of this is about rights or you being selfish! You simply don’t have space … so what is DP going to do to fix the space issue - can he contribute more - find a house to swap etc or is it for you to make this happen as well as make it work?

Oh it will be “I love babies”….
or a slip up

Thinking about it, there has been a lot of obvious rage bait style threads recently. Hopefully this is just another one.

It’s very relevant though.

You can’t moan that you don’t have room for 1 of your kids and then say you went on to have 3 more.

Maybe not because, looking at the line up, it looks sadly as though they kept going until they had a girl 😢

You obviously need to put in for a bigger council house but that could take years so you’re just going to have to cope for now.

Personally, if I was DP I would put my DCs first and get on the council list and move out with the 2 youngest boys and the DSS.

I think you’ve both been very selfish and I feel so sad for these poor kids.

Not only because you chose to have 3 more kids that you couldn’t house but also because they’ve had to deal with the shit show of your relationship for the past 10 years.

And you wonder why all of your kids are fighting, when they’ve had to witness you and DPs pathetic excuse for a relationship for 10 years.
They have had no stability and you wonder why they’re a little stressed out.

I don’t think I’ve ever read about 2 more selfish people in my life.
Poor kids 💔