To say we cant take his child full time?

Maybe you need to put the ball in court. He wants to make it work? Then get him find a property that fulfills all of your needs, explain and make a plan which household chores he is taking on including drops and pick ups and let him do research what financial help he would be entitled to? Like Child Benefit and maintenance. He also needs to arrange a meeting with his son, the Mum, and you to discuss it. I think you will find that if you make it clear to him that he has to pull his finger out and not just add his kid and dump him into your lap, that all of a sudden he won't be too keen on the whole idea anymore.

Op I have to go to serve dinner but for the love of god - don’t have another baby and introduce yet more carnage to this circus

Brilliant. 5 kids of your own that you can’t afford to house properly. And he shares 3 of those kids (despite being “on and off” with you) and has 1 other.

Yes, I think you’re being unreasonable with your SS. And I think you’re massively unreasonable having so many children.

Omg - 16 years of experience
this is embarrassing

no wonder there’s so much benefit fraud!!

Op will be in receipt of benefits
op will be the only person on the tenancy despite her partner and her having 3 kids together and living together for benefit fraud purposes
the op will be claiming single person discount for council tax purposes - another way of defrauding the shame

guaranteed

But your links don’t say what you think they do.

im cringing hard

From Google?

from Shelter

and the government

😆

You don’t understand what you’re posting. Everyone can see you’re misunderstanding it and the posts. I know you think you’re being a badarse but you’re just clueless

I don’t think it’s doable him living with you. It has to be right for everyone, including your children. They’re already unhappy sharing, without adding another child into the mix.

tbh you’ve got too many kids and not enough bedrooms.

its just not suitable for him to live with you, your partner isn’t on the tenancy, he’s lazy with the kids and you’ve barely lived with him that long so in my opinion he doesn’t get a choice.

if he wants his ds to live with him then he needs to get a 2 bed place somewhere else.

your dss has a perfectly good home with his mum, he’s not being abandoned, neglected or anything like that so he stays put.

Goodness - you’ve learned something new @Itsmetheflamingo

*Why are there restrictions on adding people to tenancy agreements?
Social housing stock is allocated based on assessed need. An unlimited right for sitting tenants to assign or add people to tenancy agreements, or for their relatives to succeed to these tenancies, could undermine landlords’ allocation policies and their ability to fulfil statutory duties to homeless households.
**

source? None other than….

https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/can-i-add-a-relative-to-my-social-housing-tenancy-agreement/

You both need to prioritise your own children. If you cant make it work together then you'll need to live separately I'm afraid.
I too am a step mum and its not easy when you're all cramped under one roof!
Absolutely your partner had the right to have his own child full time (if both he and mum agree) but equally, your partner needs to make sure his situation can accommodate this too as it needs to be whats in the best interest for all the children living together.
He cant just say yes if he won't have a bedroom (for example 2 bed house with 2 teenage girls already sharing a room). He would need to move out and prioritise his son rather than your relationship.
Very challenging times ahead I'm afraid. Hopefully he's got a good co-parenting relationship with mum and this can be discussed sensibly as to how everything will work out.

I havnt read any replies so excuse me if this has been anwsered or already said ....

Are the children living with you, your DPs too ... if not, and are just yours then I dont see how its fair that ur saying Dp can live with YOUR children but his son cant live with him...

Please ignore if im wrong...

Also ... let's say shoe was on other foot and one of your children lived with its dad, then after coming to yours weekends etc decided they wanted to come n live with you ... how would u feel if your DP was refusing?

Think how the 14 year old son feels ...

Is there any possibility that DP & his son can rent somewhere close by so there would be more room, or anywhere bigger u could all fo to?

Says someone who got their information from Google and is unable to employ critical thinking that perhaps there isnt a brand new tenancy agreement drawn up every time a tenant moves a partner, parent or friend in/out.

What basic fact?

do you not understand?

I move in in 2014 and I am the only adult on the tenancy agreement, signed and filed away.

In. 2024 my partner moved in, I phone the council and tell them

they are not “added to the tenancy agreement”

But she hasn't and probably won't either

Yes obviously.

You must not have kids to not think this is relevant but as a parent, when I move house my first thought it to ensure that there is enough space for everyone.

Then when deciding whether to have another child I think about how it will affect my current DC, can I afford another child and do I have space.

If I moved in with a man with DC from a previous relationship then I’d understand that my home would be their home and that might mean living with them FT or only a few days a month.

Its common sense to think that having a child means that they could potentially live with you FT.

Good god that depressing then that you have had that role and still don’t know this basic fact.

I’m with your DP, it’s his son and he should absolutely be able to live with him. We have my DH’s two kids 50% and from day 1 I have accepted that at any point they may decide to live with us and we would welcome the so m.

And with housing benefit (yeah yeah the op hasn’t confirmed she isn’t receipt but we all know she is) - she will have had to

and more pertinently

I quote from Shelter.org

Yes, you should generally list all adults living in a housing association property on the tenancy agreement,

Make your two children move out. Bingo, room for your husband's child!

Really though, why would you add THREE more children into an already oversized family?

I’ve been a director of a number of very large HA for 16 years. I’ve see thousands of tenancy agreements. I know all about tenancy law. I sign off the rent charges for 100,000 tenants.

so I see your sister, and say you’re talking shit.

It isnt fact! They want to know who is living there yes, but it does not need them named on a tenancy agreement.

And as a PP said, a quick phone call "This is Jane Doe from 221b Baker Street, my partner moved in" job done. No drama.

Well some of us do

Depressingly it would appear from this thread, quite a few don’t

You are talking out of your bottom

My sister is a HA tenant. You HAVE to list the number of adults residing at the property as their main residence

No you arrange your housing around your children (all of them) and take them and their needs into account when deciding on /planning any future children