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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not cutting up DS’ grapes?

255 replies

moryn · 14/04/2026 16:18

I was approached by a member of staff at pick up today, to tell me that the kitchen staff expressed concerns that DS’ grapes were whole and not cut up.

He’s 7.5. He chews properly, sits still to eat etc.

I was under the impression that the guidance is for children aged 5 and below.

AIBU here?

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 14/04/2026 17:33

It’s amazing the human race has survived as long as it has

LeaveItLizzy · 14/04/2026 17:32

A grape can choke anyone of any age due to the size and shape. They’re trying to protect the children and it’s easy to cut grapes up so just do it or don’t send them

Agree.

SummerFrog2026 · 14/04/2026 17:31

RoachFish · 14/04/2026 17:06

I with you @Holesinmesocks . I have never cut a grape in my life and my kids are in their twenties. Not a single grape was cut for me either growing up. I have only heard of this on MN. We just sat at the table and ate whatever was there.

Things change. People now know how easy it is to chicke on grapes due to their size shake & texture, almost impossible to move if they are lodged in someone's throat, even by paramedics.

Just because you/your kids (luckily) didn't choke, doesn't mean we can just forget about the people that DID choke & die & not make the risk known to other people.

It takes seconds to cut them lengthways & eliminate the risk, it's just playing Russian roulette not to & frankly it's not a risk I'll take with children.

CheekyCapybara · 14/04/2026 17:29

I think that it isn’t just the issue of suddenly choking while eating. It’s the fact that in school kids are distracted and laughing/chatting to friends. I’ve seen one child almost choke after throwing their head back to laugh at something.

Remember that kids can also do random, silly things that they don’t think through. I work in a school and once found some ks2 kids throwing whole grapes up into the air to catch them in their mouths. These were normally sensible kids who didn’t twig why tipping their heads back to catch whole grapes was not safe - they were adamant they were fine and wouldn’t choke!

It may sound overkill to cut the grapes, but is it worth the risk?

RawBloomers · 14/04/2026 17:24

Choking tragedies do happen at any age. But a 7 year old isn't more likely to die from choking on food than a 12 year old is. Grapes are particularly problematic for very young children, but by 7 cutting up grapes is not necessary.

Beyondamountainandoverthesea · 14/04/2026 17:16

LizandDerekGoals · 14/04/2026 16:31

I cut up my mum’s. She is 82.

To be fair older people can often choke on food as their swallowing deteriorates. I looked after an elderly man who choked on a bacon sandwich years ago.

SummerFrog2026 · 14/04/2026 17:16

Holesinmesocks · 14/04/2026 16:58

Fgs, how do kids learn to eat and swallow food on Planet Mumsnet??
Cutting up grapes for under 5's I get that but over that age, most kids are eating larger things and managing to chew and swallow properly, medical problems aside.
When did it all get so stupid?
Flame away, I'm not bothered. No doubt every other person knows some kid over the age of 6 who has choked on a 1/2 a grape. Sit down and eat, don't walk / run around cut the risks to start with.
The simple answer is if you are THAT worried why give them grapes in the first place? Pieces of fruit, orange, in particular can cause choking but so can other things. Where do you draw the line?

Grapes are an issue because of their size , shape & texture. Most food can be fairly easily dislodged if someone chokes, grapes generally cannot & the person dies.

BogRollBOGOF · 14/04/2026 17:16

I was thinking about this and eating grapes as a child years before cutting them became a thing.

We grew grapes in a greenhouse and I'd pick them freely, without supervision. It was a non-issue because they were as seedy as hell so from being very young, I learned how to carefully squish them with my teeth straight away and tease out the seeds with my tounge otherwise it was a not entirely pleasant gritty, seedy pulp.

It's become an issue since seedless grapes became the default.

I wonder if it also ties in with diets generally becoming a bit softer and many children not being so used to chewing food effectively.

Franpie · 14/04/2026 17:09

monicagellerbing · 14/04/2026 16:30

My son is 13 and I’d still cut them 🤣 they are so easy to choke on!

Me too.

No one in this house eats grapes that aren’t cut, regardless of how old they are.

A child in a cafe near us died choking on a grape when a paramedic was in attendance. Grapes are extremely difficult to remove once lodged due to their skin.

LlynTegid · 14/04/2026 17:07

Sympathy for the school staff who have to deal with parents who probably have not been as diligent as the OP in how they teach children about eating food. They are in a no-win situation. It does not help that some people will sue or threaten a school with Ofsted or something else.

RoachFish · 14/04/2026 17:06

I with you @Holesinmesocks . I have never cut a grape in my life and my kids are in their twenties. Not a single grape was cut for me either growing up. I have only heard of this on MN. We just sat at the table and ate whatever was there.

FofB · 14/04/2026 17:04

Cut them up. My friend is a Dr and she explained how enormously difficult is is if anyone chokes on a grape- essentially if you do choke, your instinct is to gasp for breath which then pulls the grape down and it forms a perfect airblock- which is almost impossible to shift with the traditional banging on the back etc. The body ends up trying to put it further down. When they were older, she taught her children to just bite them and break the skin before they put them into their mouth; so that if they did get distracted etc, they wouldn't be able to form the perfect block.
She said even in hospital with the correct tools, it's really hard to help.

mutleyschuckles · 14/04/2026 17:04

Grape skins are the perfect texture to stick in your throat. & also about the same size as a child’s windpipe. Which is why when they do get stuck it’s so much harder to unblock the persons airway (I work with doctors & paramedics who all say this) every time we have to redo our defibrillator training we cover choking. There’s a few X-ray’s about of how “perfectly” they sit in a windpipe. So while yes it does seem dramatic & silly to do it, if spending an extra 60 seconds cutting up grapes is enough to potentially save your child’s life, why wouldn’t you?

Not cutting up DS’ grapes?
Holesinmesocks · 14/04/2026 16:58

Fgs, how do kids learn to eat and swallow food on Planet Mumsnet??
Cutting up grapes for under 5's I get that but over that age, most kids are eating larger things and managing to chew and swallow properly, medical problems aside.
When did it all get so stupid?
Flame away, I'm not bothered. No doubt every other person knows some kid over the age of 6 who has choked on a 1/2 a grape. Sit down and eat, don't walk / run around cut the risks to start with.
The simple answer is if you are THAT worried why give them grapes in the first place? Pieces of fruit, orange, in particular can cause choking but so can other things. Where do you draw the line?

DancingWithHim · 14/04/2026 16:54

A grape can choke anyone of any age due to the size and shape. They’re trying to protect the children and it’s easy to cut grapes up so just do it or don’t send them.

Remember that kids aren’t always as sensible at school when messing around with friends as they are sitting nicely at home. There is also the chance that another child eats your child’s lunch. Although they’re told not to, kids share and swap items from their lunch box.

This is an easy thing to do so no need to make a problem out of it,

lessglittermoremud · 14/04/2026 16:48

I cut all grapes in half here if I’m serving them, the oldest kids will moan but usually can’t be bothered to get them themselves so end up with them in half.
Cant remember exactly where to link it but I saw an x-ray once of a child that had a grape stuck in the oesophagus, probably as part of a first aid course as used to work in a school.
Children don’t sit still on the hall, I remember having to do back blows on a year 5 child that has been messing around whilst eating a sandwich and had stated to choke.

Griselinia · 14/04/2026 16:42

If your children frequently eat grapes and have done for years, and you've seen them in all sorts of different moods eating grapes perfectly well, and they manage all sorts of food well in general, then yanbu. My DC have all been perfectly competent grape eaters by seven.

Chatsbots · 14/04/2026 16:39

I thought this was all bollocks until I did a first aid course with a paramedic who explained why choking with grapes is so problematic and that it was pretty common.

tinyspiny · 14/04/2026 16:37

Just don’t send grapes to school , frankly it’s ridiculous

Tryagain26 · 14/04/2026 16:36

LizandDerekGoals · 14/04/2026 16:22

Yes i think yabu. Sat at your calm dining room table is very different to sat eating at school at lunch tome in a chaotic dining hall.

And, just to put the cutting up grapes task into perspective, how difficult is it to do, a task that takes under one minute, compared with the possible outcome of not doing so.

Edited

A 7 and a half year year old child should be able to eat grapes safely. When do you think he should be allowed to eat grapes without them being cut up?
OP I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

takealettermsjones · 14/04/2026 16:35

Are they concerned about the kids sharing/swapping snacks with younger children maybe?

DreamyJade · 14/04/2026 16:34

A friend’s 7 year old dd choked to death on a grape. It’s always made me nervous watching anyone eat grapes now.

barkygoldie · 14/04/2026 16:32

This is insane!! Better watch they don’t choke on their cotton wool also…

LizandDerekGoals · 14/04/2026 16:31

monicagellerbing · 14/04/2026 16:30

My son is 13 and I’d still cut them 🤣 they are so easy to choke on!

I cut up my mum’s. She is 82.

Sirzy · 14/04/2026 16:31

if school have asked you to then what’s the issue? Grapes are lovely but they are also dangerous.

We ask all our KS1 parents to cut them up if they send them in.